Plastic Ponies
by D.C.1
Summary: It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scotfree. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One supercute Iruka chibi.
1. Trouble Begins

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Yeah, first Naruto fanfic! This is something I thought of in Math class and was supposed to be learning logs, I hope that everyone enjoys it. I mean, who wouldn't? A chibi Iruka, a reluctant Kakashi… All rolled into one! Ah, seven days of hell for the copy ninja himself.

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

The hokage sighed happily as he looked out his window, it was going to be a beautiful day. He chewed thoughtfully on his pipe when a yell echoed across the village but simply dismissed it as training. The elder watched his town slowly wake and prepare for morning, some opening shops while others tried to wake up.

Yes, it certainly was going to be a fine day.

* * *

"He's late." Naruto fumed, leaning against the bridge's rail. Five minutes ticked off. "He's still late." Naruto repeated, adding a small growl at the end of the phrase. Ten more minutes crawled past. "He's late!" Said fox whined, wanting to throw a childish temper- tantrum at this now know fact.

Sakura sighed angrily as she crossed her arms, "We know!" She yelled, glaring at the boy and stomping her foot to emphasis. "He'll always be late!" She muttered while Inner Sakura killed a Kakashi doll in more than a hundred ways.

Sasuke didn't even bother to include his voice in the conversation, instead choosing to stare down the road at the approaching figure. His two teammates continued to argue about their un-punctual sensei, even when the person was a few feet away. Only when Sasuke made an 'ng' noise in his throat did they stop.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled, launching himself at the older man and almost causing him to fall over. "Did you come to buy ramen for me?" He asked, forming teary eyes before he glanced up at his past teacher.

The teacher smiled down at the boy before turning his attention to his other students from before. "So what are you all doing here?" He asked, detangling Naruto from his waist to stand up straight. "It's eight, I figured you all would be sleeping instead of up."

"And what were you doing up so early?" Naruto asked, staring up the nostrils of the older man.

Iruka glanced down, his eyes closed as he grinned, "I have no classes today so I decided to just walk around the village and enjoy the view." He gestured to the blooming cherry blossom trees surrounding them in the park. "Besides, I should be asking you that question, Mr. I-like-sleeping-breakfast-at-three-in-the-afternoon."

The fox grumbled at the answer and question in one, crossing his arms and sulking on the ground. "We're waiting for bastard Kakashi-sensei." He said. "He's always late and I'm sick of it!" He jumped up when the excitement became too much for his body to hold in silently.

The chunin watched, baffled, as Sakura instantly shot Naruto down and clung to Sasuke's arm. His head was the only one that turned to see the said bastard appear on top of a decorative light pole. "Hello, Kakashi-san!" The fellow teacher announced, waving as he did so.

Naruto and Sakura stopped their squabbling to glare at their instructor as he landed a few feet away. "You're late!" Naruto yelled as he flipped the middle at Kakashi.

The coach shook his head mournfully; ready to tell his tale of angst and loss. He cleared his throat and held up a finger to execute his point, "On the way over I noticed that I was wearing my teddy bear pajamas and had to turn back because it would be most unfortunate if someone attacked me and I wasn't able to protect myself." The shadow ninja nodded his head solemnly, "Cotton animal undergarments just aren't what they used to-"

"LIAR!" Sakura and Naruto yelled in unison, accompanied by Sasuke's glare.

The gray haired man sighed and looked over to Iruka as if for help or just a share in the pity. "What are you doing here? Trying to win your students back?" He asked, ignoring his students at the moment. "Or," Kakashi slung his arm over the other teachers shoulders, "are you trying to become one of my students?"

The older man's eyebrow wriggled suggestively as Iruka's eyes became half lidded, a bored expression crossing his face. "Oh, yes, sensei. I dream of becoming your student every night, but unfortunately you have students now and I think you've wasted enough of their time." He groaned under his breath in dismay when Kakashi didn't take the hint to leave.

The three teens had stopped bickering to watch their teachers in interest. _'Whoa,'_ Naruto thought, _'I didn't know Iruka-sensei could be like that.'_ Sakura stared while her inner self screamed at the kawaii-ness of the two men, one practically on top of the other now. And Sasuke, Sasuke just stared at the ground.

"Really?" Kakashi asked, grinning under his mask and being betrayed by his curved eye. "I'll just have to remedy something." Stepping to the side he pulled out a glass vial, shoving the clear liquid down Iruka's throat before he could react. "That should help." He clapped his hands to get rid of invisible dust particles, a job well done.

Iruka's eyes widened as he sputtered on the mixture, "What did you do to me?" He yelled, grabbing Kakashi's vest and lifting him in an unknown display of power. The scarecrow shrugged and placed a hand on the man's wrist.

"I think I'm going to like this." He said as he pushed himself from the brown haired teacher's arms. "I don't know if you will." Kakashi smiled and jumped away while his hand went to his chin, "Don't entirely know what's going to happen though, but since you're such a good example I'm sure you'll handle it fine."

Naruto and the others watched the teacher flinch at the words. "Why are you being so mean to Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked, wringing her hands as she looked at her present instructor.

"Not being mean." Kakashi laughed, "Just having some fun." He gestured with his hand. "Be back to normal in a couple of hours… Maybe."

The trio of teens turned to ask Iruka what that meant only to see a child of about three standing in a baggy pair of clothes. "I hate you." The child said as he sat on the ground, crossing his arms to fume at Kakashi. This made the boy look like Naruto when he sulked.

She couldn't help it; Sakura kneeled and pulled the tan child into her arms. "So cute!" She squealed as she cuddled the former teacher. Iruka whimpered at the action and struggled to become free. Sakura paused in her snuggling to look down at the youth in her arms. "What's wrong?" She cooed as she craned her head to see the boy's face.

The scrunched up face of Iruka was adorable, his scar a darker shade than his skin. "Don't like you." He whispered, pushing up his headband that was falling over his left eye. Sakura's eyes grew from shock at the bluntness of the statement, not noticing her teammates or Kakashi coming closer, the latter squatting to become level with her.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Naruto asked his teacher, making three pairs of eyes snap and focus on him. "I mean, does he remember us?" Kakashi rolled his eyes to show an answer to the question. "I'll take that as a maybe." The fox muttered, looking down at the child that used to be his mentor.

The brown eyes of Iruka sparkled with some sort of emotion as he crawled from Sakura's lap, drawing the attention back to him. His eyes turned to slits when he looked at Kakashi. A small hand raised and everyone held his or her breath, wondering if he would remember what the man did to him.

Kakashi closed his eyes and prepared for the blow he knew should, and would, be coming.

The jounin almost choked on his tongue when the hand was thrust through his hair.

Soft giggles reached his ears and Kakashi opened his eye to find Iruka only inches away from his face. The child continued to play with the gravity defying mass, laughing louder each time the hair sprung back into place.

Sakura pouted at losing the bioshen, her arms snaking out to snatch the small Iruka back to her chest. "We don't want you to hang out with him." She shook her head and pointed at her teacher, "He's bad and evil." The child's eyes grew to the size of saucers as Sakura became more and more animated at pointing out Kakashi's shortcomings.

"I wanna hold him!" Naruto yelled, reaching out to grab the small arm, "Let me do it, Sakura! You're hogging him!" The fox pulled harder, making the girl stand to stake her claim. Sasuke watched with his usual blank face on the outside, but his eyes shined to reveal he also wanted to hold Iruka.

"Mine!"

"Miner!"

"Likes me better!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

The young child could only take so much before his face screwed up and a shrill scream burst from his lips. His short legs curled under his body as he was jerked back and forth between Naruto and Sakura. Deciding this was enough; Kakashi stepped forward to take Iruka from the hell that was his students.

The small form quivered in the arms of the jounin, sniffling into the man's chest. "If this is how you treat kids, I hope you never have any." Kakashi said, earning a look of guilt from both. "Since I can't trust him in either of yours care." He ignored Sasuke for the moment, "I'm going to have to watch him myself."

About to argue, Sakura and Sasuke stopped Naruto in their own special ways, the girl clamping her hand over his mouth and the other boy punching him in the stomach. "Shut up!" She hissed, pointing at Kakashi. "We don't want to wake him up."

A soft sigh came from Iruka's parted lips as he burrowed deeper into Kakashi's chest, his small hand forming a strong hold on his vest. The ninja's eyebrow rose in amusement, "I guess you two tired him out." He laughed, the movement making the child pout and shift his weight.

The scarecrow turned to leave, again being stopped by his students. "Where are you taking him?" Sakura and Naruto asked in unison, scowling at each other when they finished.

"To his house, where else?"

Sakura focused narrowed eyes on her teacher before beginning, "You had better stay with him, or else." While inner-Sakura shouted curses that the teacher would never hear, though a shudder went down his spine for some unknown reason.

"Yeah! If Iruka-sensei is hurt in anyway…" Naruto let the statement hang, shaking a fist.

Kakashi shrugged, "I know, I know. You will kill me and tell the hokage it was an accident. Can I go now?" The three nodded, Sasuke adding his own threat by glaring at the back of his head.

Unnerved from the anger of his students, Kakashi nimbly jumped onto a rooftop to begin the way home. Forgetting that he didn't know the way to Iruka's house was no problem for the elite ninja. Speeding across the village, he unconsciously made his way closer to the hokage's office to ask some questions.

He opened the door cautiously, analyzing everything before stepping into the carpeted hall. A few ninja were walking through, minding their own business and never pausing to talk. Some look out of the large windows, wanting to leave and go outside but not daring to disobey their responsibilities to the village.

That was until Iruka awoke with an almost silent yawn.

Thinking this would do nothing; Kakashi continued to walk only to find his way blocked by ninja. Not the threatening kinds that could, and would, kill on sight. More specifically, the women ninja.

They all moved closer to the youngster, paying no attention to the man holding Iruka. A predatory gleam appeared in their eyes as they crept closer, some flexing their hands in anticipation. Silence echoed through the hall for a moment, Kakashi backing up to escape from the womenfolk.

Hitting the wall seemed to be the signal, all launching at the child and the jounin. A chorus of 'aw's' and 'adorable' were shrieked from the mass, grabbing Iruka into the fray. Suddenly, one of the ladies, not yelling in happiness, broke from the group.

"Get him off me!" She screamed, waving an arm through the air as she panicked.

Everyone paused to watch her run in a circle, continuing to flail her arm erratically. Kakashi quickly appeared next to the woman, slamming his hands onto her shoulders to stop her from escaping. Looking down, he spotted the cause of the screaming: Iruka had wrapped around her arm and was biting down on her wrist.

Kakashi prepared to pry off the child, about to use a simple jutsu, unaware of the crowd forming. He stepped closer, being careful to warn the woman of what he was about to do by forming the proper hand seals.

The air became heavy, both ninja freezing in place as Iruka swiveled his head to stare at the rescuer. The mob sucked in their breath as they waited for the encounter that follows, secretly enjoying the free entertainment.

A jubilant shout was screamed through the hallway as the child vaulted off the lady. She teetered back and forth, almost falling, and turned to scold the boy. Nestled in Kakashi's chest, Iruka glanced over his shoulder fearfully at her and whimpered.

His arms latched around the man's neck and his small legs struggled to encircle the large chest. He mumbled and lowered his eyes, letting out a squeak when he noticed how high he was off the ground. His body tensed and he tried to flatten his body against Kakashi.

The scolder paused in mid-sentence at the sight, finger still pointed at Iruka's back, and broke down at the cuteness.

The crowd, sensing an agreement was formed, surged forward. Kakashi finally surrounded the child with his arms, an extra precaution against the women. They all kept their distance, learning from the horrible event that had happened before.

"He's so cute, Kakashi-san." A woman cooed as she looked at Iruka instead of the ninja she was talking to. She smiled when Iruka turned to look at her with wonder filled eyes.

Another joined the conversation, "Is he yours? The mother must be especially beautiful to have a little angel like this." She pressed a finger against the laughing youth's nose, making a small hand reach up to curl around the body part.

"Yeah, Kakashi-san! Who's the mother?" Others cried, moving against the teacher. He looked around for an opening to flee to but found none; these women were good at trapping their prey. A soft pulling made him flinch in instinct before remembering he was holding a child and the ladies weren't attacking. Yet.

_'Correction,'_ he thought, _'Someone I don't even know who I probably cursed for life.'_ He sighed and turned to leave, only to recall he was against a wall with no freedom in sight.

Iruka, finding that pulling wasn't doing the job, went to extreme measures. Poke. Poke.

Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke.

Growling, and turning to his attacker, Kakashi found Iruka staring up at him expectantly. "What is it?" He hissed, turning to nod at a woman quickly after she finished her question on abortion pills.

The child shook his head and pointed, hitting a lady in the eye by accident. A small hole had appeared and the ninja took his chance. Dashing through the crowd and to the door of the hokage, Kakashi ran, hearing the pound of the feet behind him.

Closing the door, the jounin panted and leaned against the large oak door. The hokage watched the man with amusement as he chewed lightly on his pipe. "Every time you come here…" He paused to look back over his village through the window, "Causing trouble." He grumbled.

Kakashi sighed, his one eye rolling in aggravation. "It isn't my fault." He muttered in irritation at the questioning, placing the smiling Iruka on the leaders writing table. "If he wasn't so cute I would've arrived earlier."

"You'd still be late." The elder chuckled as he turned, an eyebrow rose at the child sitting on his desk. "What's this?" He asked, both eyebrows rising this time, "I don't run a daycare here." He paused, talking around his pipe as he chewed. "Of course daycares only take responsibility of children. Screaming jutsu." He stated, circling the boy, who was currently counting his toes.

Grinning beneath his mask while moving away, the ninja who began the problem was faced with something else that was his fault. Hundreds of hokage surrounded him. "So, who's the victim of your little game this time?" They all asked as one, making the room shake slightly from the volume.

The question echoed around the space, bouncing off the walls to hit Kakashi full blast. "No one of importance… To me." He added as an afterthought. Finally breaking under the glare, he sat down on a chair hastily, "It was a chunin," That glare never relented, "who taught Naruto…" He grumbled while crossing his arms like a boy caught doing a prank in a catholic school.

Konohagakure village was usually peaceful during the day, allowing many to enjoy the solitude and silence. Of these were the animals that also lived in the village, never at arms with the villagers. Currently a flock of large birds had taken it on as their right to roost on the highest point in the town, otherwise known as the hokage's office.

They squawked and preened under the noon sun. Some were settling down for a nap, relishing in the fact that smaller birds would not bother them. An adult or two watched over the young, making sure the chicks didn't wander from the nest and fall to the ground.

Relaxation floated over the rooftop as sleep claimed many of the birds. This, it seemed was the life for them. But, alas, as always, there is a small flaw in paradise.

"You did WHAT!?"

And the birds took flight.

To be continued…

* * *

**Ending Notes**

Don't know if I'll continue.

Review if you want to, maybe this story has potential.

Flames will be used to keep self-warm, and for inspiration.


	2. Sleep Trouble

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

I'm surprised that I actually got reviews for this. Thanks for all the help and such on my spelling and junk, I usually read it over so you might see an edited version in a few days. feels proud of self Wait, that means I have to continue. … Procrastination can no longer help me if people are reading this. Curses, foiled again!

I might not be able to post this as quickly considering that this is my "bad" month. Meaning that plays, exams, sports and schoolwork are going to get in the way of my computer time and me. You might find chapter three on the way quickly but four and the rest are going to be in the workings for a while.

Thank you and enjoy the cuteness.

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

Kakashi grumbled as he continued to sit in the hard, wooden chair. The minutes ticked by slower and slower after the hokage left with Iruka. He sighed and pulled a kunai from its holster, beginning a simple game of throwing the weapon upwards and catching as it fell. He often used this when he had to think or was tired of something very current.

The sun was setting even tough the day seemed half done. _'Boring.'_ The ninja thought as he glanced out the wide windows, "I could be torturing my students right about now instead of just being…" He searched vainly for a word to convey his feelings, "Bored!" He moaned, dragging both hands down his face.

"Very witty." The elder said as he walked into the room, "I can tell you would have good comebacks." He chuckled, closing the door and walking over to his desk. The older man sat down in his chair and shuffled his papers into a pile again so the ones that had moved were back in the stack.

They both turned to look out the window to watch the last rays fade from the sky. "So… Where's the brat?"

The hokage looked up from signing a sheet; pipe already clamped in his mouth. "Oh, playing hide and seek." The look of disbelief on Kakashi's face made the other finish, "Nothing bad. Iruka played it when he was younger, went by a different name though."

Sighing, Kakashi watched the stars come out, wishing he was somewhere else. Acting on this impulse he began to stand, tuning out the chatting of the other man. He stopped when the door he was reaching for opened of its own accord.

Iruka looked up at the taller ninja with one eye, his other covered and being rubbed by his fist. The child yawned, almost falling over from the action. "Found you." He whispered, grinning slightly as he stumbled forward to tag his opponent and finish playing.

One half of Kakashi's brain screamed, 'don't do it!' while the other half was numb from the pure cuteness. Since being numb is always a plus from pain, he bent down to pick up the child. The small body was warm and moved so he was closer to the ninja.

"I see you two are getting along. Of course, children get along with everyone pretty well around that age." The hokage mused, "I should just be thankful you both aren't killing each other."

"Why's that?" The younger man asked, narrowing his eye in question and suspicion of the older man.

The elder's face broke into a smile, "Because you're going to be looking after him for the rest of the week! That jutsu should wear of by then." Snickering to himself, he went back to work and left Kakashi to think over what just happened. "It'll be easy, I swear!" He said, waving at the shocked, angry expression on his ninja's face.

"I've filled him in on the details he needs the most. Who you are." He began to tick the information off his fingers, "Where he is going to be staying and what you are. The last part was the hardest. He just didn't seem to understand what a jounin was, only that it's a type of ninja."

The hokage shrugged and changed his pen for a match to light his pipe, "His memories should be coming back in the next few days. Body will most likely change back on the last day." He grinned while throwing his match into a wastebasket, "That means you're going to be having a mini-Iruka running around your house with all the training of a chunin. Lucky you."

The little boy inhaled deeply and sighed into his caretaker's neck, trying to fight off the lull of sleep. Unintentionally, the scarecrow shifted his weight so that Iruka was more comfortable against his vest-covered chest. "How am I supposed to live through this?" He moaned out loud.

"Simple. Just make sure you keep your eyes on him at all times." The hokage said without looking up, now intent on his ignored work, "Can you leave now Kakashi? I have a lot of work to complete by tomorrow. Or do I have to escort you out?" He finished with a chuckle.

Grumbling, the copy ninja turned to the still slightly ajar door. A sound made him look and almost get smacked in the face by a small key. Figuring that it was the other teacher's house key, he pocketed it quickly to avoid dropping the sleeping child.

Half way out the door, a sudden thought hit Kakashi. "Um, hokage-sama?" A grunt made the ninja know he was being heard, "You said that Iruka played the game by different name when he was younger."

"Yes, yes…" The older man said, remembering long ago, again disregarding his paperwork, "His father hated it whenever he played it but his mother always laughed at the end. The results always were amusing." He tapped his chin and smiled wistfully at the memories of the good old days.

Kakashi rolled his one eye, wondering why the elder cared so much about this subject, "What did he call it?" He asked, frustration leaking through his voice. _'Maybe I can use this to lose the kid when he gets to be to much of a nerve-racker.' _He thought, listening intently for the other man to answer.

The hokage stopped his work and looked up, pen still poised to sign a report. "I believe he called it, 'search and destroy.'" He said simply and then went back to writing, trusting his elite ninja to find his own way home.

* * *

Kakashi growled as he walked down the road with his new charge in hand. He looked quickly around to make sure no one was out on the road this early in the night. _'Damn kids…'_ he thought, ignoring the one in his arms, _'damn them and their stupid cuteness.' _He shuddered when that word somehow formed in his mind.

A single street lamp illuminated the direction he traveled on. Few people were walking around, this being the time that most families ate dinner. A couple passed the ninja, the woman 'awing' at the child in Kakashi's arms and the lover struggling to pull her into the restaurant.

Hearing the fighting of the two, and fully refreshed from his short ten-minute nap, Iruka awoke to find himself staring into green eyes, "You are such a cute little boy!" The woman said; pinching a cheek to make sure the child was real. "Is he your daddy?" She asked, standing up so she could glance Kakashi over, flicking away her date with a free hand.

Iruka cocked his head to the side at the question before breaking into small peals of laughter. "Him?" He pointed to Kakashi and received an eager nod from the female, "No!" The child laughed out breathily and rubbed his head against the jounin's vest. "He's just here to make sure I am good." He finished while looking out of eyes narrowed from his current smile.

The woman almost melted at the simple words, only saved by her boyfriend who grabbed her as she fell. Kakashi watched them in amazement, wondering why he was never informed that children could talk at three and hold such sway over adults. He thought that both changes came at the age of nine, at least, for both.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he found Iruka tugging on his vest. The man from the couple was staring at said brown haired boy, the woman staring intently at Kakashi. Cursing himself, the copy ninja noticed that something important had to have happened in the split second he was off guard. The two other people were nearer with a hungry look in both their eyes and Iruka was squirming in an effort to put more space between them.

"You were saying?" He asked, both eyes open to gather his wits as quickly as possible. The body in his arms pushed itself even closer. The ninja wondered why as he watched the figure seem to shrink and struggle to become smaller against his vest, or even try and become one with the article of clothing.

The former teacher whimpered when the people followed his movements. "They're monsters." He whispered; the words muffled from the fabric near his face. Neither seemed to hear him, still moving closer. "Go away!" He shrieked suddenly, jolting the couple from their stupor.

They both blinked, this being the first time they were told off by a child, before the boyfriend pulled out his watch. His eyes bugging, he turned to his date, "Shoot. Honey, we're late for our reservations now." The man said frantically, hooking arms with his companion to attempt to drag her into dinner and the dimly lit restaurant.

The lady sighed, "Fine." She turned to Iruka, patting him on the head as if he was a cute puppy, "I hope that we see you again!" She frowned when the child whined and moved away from her hand.

Kakashi watched them go through the doors to the Italian bistro with mild interest. He looked down to see Iruka staring at the spot where the woman was standing a moment ago. The scarecrow bounced the child to get a reaction, "What's up?" He asked, regretting it the moment he finished.

Large, glassy eyes shone in the light, the fear still gleaming clear in them. "I don't want to be taken away." He murmured, shivering slightly at the memory and tightening his hold on the older man.

Noticing this change, Kakashi started again his walk home. "What made you think she was going to take you away Iruka?" His feet carried them closer and closer to his house.

Instead of answering, like most obedient children would do, the child just looked into the night. Silence surrounded both like a cloak as neither continued the conversation. Another couple passed but didn't note the kawaii Iruka, to engrossed with each other to bother with the two, who were becoming cloaked by the darkness by proper ninja.

Arriving on his doorstep, Kakashi sighed. Opening the door and placing Iruka on the ground, he slipped his shoes off at the straw mat and stretched, successfully popping a few bones back into place. Then when he looked up, the child was gone.

"Shit." He muttered under his breath as he shrugged his vest onto a peg near the door. "Iruka, where are you?" He said, his voice carrying easily through the house. The sound of something being chewed made the ninja smile. "I know he isn't in the kitchen eating my food." He announced, making his way to the kitchen stealthily.

The chewing stopped.

Knowing this was his chance; the scarecrow ran into the room with his known deadly speed. Confusion marred his excited features under his mask when the only thing he found in the area was a box of open cereal and a bowl, in spite of everything, still spinning on the table. Placing his hand on the porcelain to halt the noisy motion, he searched intently for clues.

"This is too easy." He said as he looked at the small shapes scattered on the ground, forming a trail. Stepping on a few by accident, the pieces of puffed rice with marshmallows let off the dry crack they were known for. "Maybe Iruka's in the living room?" He questioned himself, loud enough for the other to hear as he followed the breakfast food.

The sound of laughter made Kakashi grin under his mask, stepping through the doorway to the room. It seemed normal enough, a couch positioned in front of a television that was on. Frowning, the man flicked the screen off as the cereal bits went past it. _'Where can that little imp be?'_ Kakashi thought, frustrated that he hadn't found the thing of his current frustrations yet.

There weren't many places for a three year old to hide in this room, he noted. The table in the center of the room was out, it being glass and easily seen through; after all the 'Come Come Paradise' books were moved to the floor, of course. The only other objects in the room that could be used to hide a small child were the two tall bookcases and a large potted plant in the corner.

Kakashi smirked as he walked over to the said plant, "Hello, my large potted plant. Your foliage looks exceptionally healthy today." He tilted his head to the side as if listening to the woes of the flora, searching the leaves and spying a large blotch of darkness under the leaves.

"I have you now!" Kakashi yelled as he struck forward to grab the shadowed figure. His eyebrow was threatening to disappear into his gray hairline from the shock of what he found. "What the…" The thing gripped in his hands was definitely not a small child filled with energy. Instead, a large rubber fire hydrant, the type a dog would chew on happily, had been captured by the elite jounin.

Muttering, the scarecrow threw his jutsu dog's toy over his shoulder carelessly, the faint squeak bringing him no pleasure. "Just keep your eyes on him at all times." He quoted the hokage, thoroughly pissed off. He sauntered over to his leather coach and collapsed onto it, "It'll be easy!" He proclaimed sarcastically, lifting his arms to the ceiling to ask for divine intervention.

Kakashi rubbed the bridge of his nose in an effort to fight off the oncoming migraine, it didn't work but it was worth a try. The man sighed as his muscles relaxed, going into a sleeplike trance on the futon. His eye fluttered shut, tightly closed and never detecting the motion coming from the top of his bookshelf since he was already tired from the day's events that had passed so quickly by.

The child, who he was searching for, currently perched up and to the side, watched as his caretaker fell asleep. Crawling from the bookcase's top shelf and down to the back of the couch in a fluent movement, the boy made sure that he was balanced on the piece of wood before looking down. Iruka stared at the man in confusion, wondering why the game was all of a sudden over, continuing to chew on his cereal pieces pensively.

Something falling on Kakashi's face and into his hair made him awake to see chocolate eyes regarding him from above. The words 'search and destroy' echoed through the ninja's mind and he was immediately on guard, jumping into a crouched position on the glass table and almost slipping from his magazines littered over the surface.

Iruka watched with mild enjoyment, pointing at Kakashi with the one hand that wasn't in his mouth. "You were asleep! Go back!" He frowned when the taller man almost fell from the surface in surprise. The past teacher huffed, his eyes rolling to the ceiling as if asking the gods why he deserved this, mirroring the action of the ninja a few moments before. "Can we go to sleep now?" He asked, only now struggling to keep his eyes open, rubbing them with both eyes as if to punctuate his point.

Kakashi nodded and picked up Iruka, being careful to pick up the entire chunin outfit that the child was still wearing even though it huge off his petite body. "You'll be staying in my room. I'll see if I can't find you something to wear that might fit you." He dropped the child onto the plush bed and turned to the closet to look for a pair of pajamas or an extremely small shirt.

_'This wouldn't be so hard if the kid wasn't so small. I'd probably have better luck buying clothes from a toy shop than an actual children's store.'_ He thought looking back at Iruka, who was currently throwing a pillow at the wall. _'Really destructive though. Maybe I should make a note of that…' _Shaking his head, he shrugged,_ 'Nah, he's just working out his teenage hormones.'_ The ninja paused in his searching, bewilderment seeping into his thoughts, _'But he's not a teenager, only a little kid. Oh great, that means a lot of energy for me to have fun with.'_ He sighed and dug back into the pile of clothing in the closet.

Iruka yawned as he looked around, bored stiff and legs swinging while his hand covered his mouth in a more polite manner as he yawned again. Seeing that Kakashi was slowing down in his search, the child took off his chunin vest, shrugging most of it off by simply standing, and laboring intensely with the zipper when the neck opening was to small for his waist. Deciding to work on his headband next, he tugged frantically and pouted when it didn't move from its position.

The copy ninja turned around at this moment, smiling but catching himself at the last second at the child's predicament. "Can you help me?" The young boy asked, turning around so the older man saw the knot and batting large eyes at him. "Please, Kakashi?" The simple question with the name that had no title made Kakashi briefly halt in his approach before continuing.

His pale fingers undid the tied ends fluently, also pulling out the thin hair tie as an afterthought. Iruka giggled when a hand raked through his auburn strands, actually purring when the other ninja scratched behind his neck. Kakashi stopped; the thought of what he was doing making him rethink his actions.

_'When Iruka changes back he's going to remember this.'_ He thought, grimacing at what the other teacher would do to him when he got bigger and could hold heavy, blunt objects. Shuddering, he pulled away and headed to the door.

"Kakashi-san!" Iruka cried, hands reaching out the older man. "I still need help!" He whined, trying to stomp his foot on the bed but only getting his foot stuck in the pillow he had thrown. The child sighed and held out his borrowed shirt, one of the jounin's few t-shirts, silently asking for it to be put on.

Backtracking, the tall man lifted the top and slid the boy into it quickly, his brain screaming for sleep. "Do you need any more help?" He expected a yes from the usually agreeable chunin, at least when he was an adult anyway.

Iruka shook his head rapidly, almost falling over because of the dizzying action. "I don't need your assistance." He said proudly, pushing the grown-up away with his hand while the other pushed a strand of hair behind an ear hastily. "I can do it myself."

Kakashi wondered if this meant that Iruka was changing back, he'd never heard any adolescent say something like that at the age of three. Of course, this esteemed ninja was never at the kiddy zone in most amusement parks so he had nothing to work on. "Well, just in case you need my 'assistance' on anything else I'll be down in the living room." He explained, receiving a distracted nod from the child as he pulled back the covers on the bed.

Speaking a muted 'good night' with a grin at the toddler's actions, Kakashi walked back to the living room, leaving Iruka to change into the rest of the clothing he left behind. Lying down on the couch in a more dignified way then before, he stared out the window near his head. Not even bothering to remove the wraps from his legs or his headband, which would only bring back the incident, the jounin soon fell into a fitful sleep. His last thoughts troublesome and all involving the little boy only a few strides away.

_'I'm not going to make it through the week…'_ was his last thought accompanied by a sigh, his third tonight, as he closed his eyes under a tri-quarter moon.

To be continued…

* * *

**Previews**

****

Shadow attacks; strawberries are problematic and shopping!


	3. Problematic Strawberries

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

****

Yeah, I had time to type this up and junk. No idea where this story is going but I have the week set up so far. It's going to be really funny what happens. Gai and Lee pop up later in the story, so tell all your friends! OH YEAH!

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

Kakashi woke to his morning as usual, tongue feeling like sandpaper and his body weighing as if it were made of lead. He tried to shove his body into a sitting position but another problem was called to his attention. Sleeping on his chest, curled into a small ball, another body rose and fell as the scarecrow breathed.

Bleary eyes opened after the man stopped breathing, he was unaware of what to do with a child when it was sleeping. The boy cautiously pushed his body up, using his bent arm to stabilize and to keep himself from falling to the ground. His hair, loose, hung limp around his head as he yawned.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked when he finished yawning also.

Iruka smiled, stretching his arms upwards and sighing happily. Smacking his lips he looked down at the man he was lying on. "Sleeping."

The one seen eye of the copy ninja rolled, "Obviously. But why are you sleeping on me?" He asked sarcastically and shifted so he was sitting cross-legged on the couch, Iruka still in his lap.

"I got scared." The chunin said, leaning his cheek against the un-vested chest. "It was dark and I didn't want to be alone in case the monsters came back." The child's eyes narrowed, "What're you doing here? Don't you have work to be doing now?"

Iruka stood on the couch, his eyes even height with Kakashi's. The scarecrow hoped that Iruka was still a little kid in mind and changed the subject quickly, "Well. Are you ready to go meet my students?" Luckily it worked and the child nodded and hopped off the sofa, the long shirt he was wearing covering a small pair of boxer shorts.

Standing up, the jounin walked into the kitchen and checked the clock. _'It's only eight. They can wait a few more hours.'_ He thought, shrugging at the problems of his students. Rummaging through the cabinets, he found something to eat in an unlabeled box. "Waste not, want not." He said, smiling as he popped a few pieces of whatever it was into his mouth.

Munching on the crunchy food, made crunchy from being stale, Kakashi walked back to the living room to switch on the television. He flicked through the channels quickly, scratching his closed Sharingan eye through the hitai-ate. Seeing nothing that interested him, though the art of creating sugar sculptures was captivating, he flopped back onto the couch to wait for the child in his care.

Iruka ran back into the room, his hair in its ponytail and his forehead protector hanging from around his neck. Jumping, the young boy landed next to Kakashi and laughed at the shocked expression on the jounin's face. "Can you help me?" He asked, holding up his pair of sandals that he remembered to grab from the front door.

"Yeah, we're going to have to get you some new clothes." Kakashi voiced his thoughts from the night before, picking up the shoes in one hand and tucking the child under his arm. "You obviously can't wear any of your regular clothes until you change back." He commented on the chunin uniform that was most likely on the floor in his room, he hadn't checked.

The boy squirmed at being captured, frowning when he couldn't escape. Allowing his legs to hang limp he look like an oversized doll. "I'm a big person. Don't need dumb Kakashi-san to tell me what to do." He grumbled while looking at the floor.

Smiling under his mask at the mix of maturity and childlike behavior, the copy ninja adjusted his posture to compensate for the dead weight that was Iruka. "And how are you going to stop me?" He asked, chuckling when the child stuck out his tongue to answer. Dropping the other teacher's sandals near the front door he also allowed Iruka to sit on the small step as he gathered his uniform.

He sat down next to the brown-haired child and grabbed his own shoes, doing the buckles with no problems since he had done this routine everyday for who knows how many years. Slipping on his vest next, he quickly did the clasps and checked to make sure all the scrolls were in their pouches. Then he noticed that his most important piece of equipment was missing, his book for all boredom. Doing a double take to make sure it didn't fall out or that he hadn't just misplaced it he hit on the answer: Iruka.

"Hand it over, now." Kakashi demanded as he turned to the child. Instead of fear, which he was shooting for the other to feel, all Kakashi got from the child was an empty smile quirking on his lips. "You know what I mean."

Iruka shrugged, "I have no idea what you're talking about. I promise." He stretched, un-sandaled feet allowing his toes to spread out. He looked up at Kakashi, who was currently glaring down at him. "What? You don't believe the word of a child?" The expression on the jounin's face clearly said not. "Fine." The boy reached into his hair and pulled out the neon colored book, opening it. "I don't know what you'd be doing carrying around a book."

Kakashi paled when the child began to read it, "Joanne loved Bobby at that's all she had to say about that. So she went over his house one night and knocked on the door. He opened the entrance and they stumbled forward to become one…" He snatched the book from the youngster before he could continue with the story, closing it up in one deft movement. Iruka followed the older ninja's movement with a confused look on his face. "If I were you I wouldn't carry that type of reading material around with you. The ninja who kills you will think you're a pervert." He nodded as if it were a lesson he was rehearsing in school for the teacher.

"And if I were you I would shut up unless you want to die in the next minute." Kakashi said before he could stop. Mentally kicking himself, the scarecrow turned back to the child to see him staring blankly at the ground in front of him. He nudged the boy to see if he would respond only to get nothing in return. _'Great, just great. Now he's going to hate me with his little kid, I-have-the-brain-of-an-adult, game… Thing.'_ He thought while picking up the scowling child and opening the door.

Stepping into the morning sun, Kakashi closed his eye to breath in the warm air. Wanting Iruka to smile again, he threw the child into the air and prepared to catch him as he fell. Brown eyes snapped open as they took flight, limbs flailing as he dropped to certain doom.

A shrill cry broke from the child when he discovered what was happening. Curling into a small ball, Iruka prepared to be splattered against the concrete only to be saved by a pair of strong arms. He peeked out of one eye, his body still scrunched together in case he fell again. "Hate Kakashi-san." He muttered, looking away from said jounin.

Craning his head to the side so he could look at the child, Kakashi peered into the angry eyes as he tilted the head up with a finger. "You know you don't mean that." He teased, placing the boy on the ground and yanking his finger away so Iruka's teeth made a dull click on empty air. "I don't think so." He patted the boy on the head, "I need these fingers to form seals." He said, beginning to walk down the street with the barefoot child following reluctantly behind.

The market place bustled with life as wives bought groceries for the week, tugging their children behind them to make sure they didn't get into trouble. People yelled out what they wanted and what they were selling, the merchants beating the common folk most of the time. This didn't stop the women though, screaming louder and using their ninja skills to get closer and purchase their supplies.

"Oyo, Kakashi-san!" A large man called from behind a counter, pushing some of the bodies out of the way so his voice would carry. "I've got that order in that you wanted." A smile played under the jounin's mask as he walked over to the stall, a small Iruka trailing uncertainly behind.

"The freshest strawberries this season." The man said, glancing from side to side cautiously. "You're going to have to come in the back if you want them, though." He leaned forward to whisper to Kakashi, the other man shifting toward him with his hands on his hips. "These ladies, very respectable, would most likely jump me if word of these babies got out." The older man winked, his baldhead shining in the morning sun, and motioned to the small room in the back.

The elite ninja sighed and walked after him to the storerooms of the fruit stand, pausing for an elderly woman to exit with a barrel of oranges in her arms. "Hello, Chiyo. Are you doing well today?"

The female laughed at Kakashi, waving a hand in his direction. "When am I never okay? Business is booming and Kazuki can barely keep up with all the separate orders." She said, shaking her head where a gray bun resided. "Oh, you better go. He's seen you talking to the enemy and now he won't trust you." Chiyo laughed, gesturing to her scowling husband who was glaring at Kakashi with venom.

"Kazuki, these better be good to stop me from talking to your wonderful wife." Kakashi said, walking into the back room and closing the door behind him. "If they aren't I'm never going to buy from you again."

"You'll just buy from my wife or daughter." The shop owner laughed as he pushed past another entrance beaded this time. "Here they are. The most beautiful berries in all of Konohagakure." He stooped over to pry open a large case of wood.

Kakashi squatted and looked into the box, picking up a few to test their weight in his hand. Dropping the red fruit back into the crate, closing it and standing up, Kakashi shrugged, "You've proven me wrong again, my dear Kazuki." He grabbed the rope handles and hefted it over his shoulder.

The ninja walked past the beaded veil, glancing over his burden, "Hey, you know any place around here where I can get kids clothes?"

The man paused in wiping his sweaty brow, another crate already in his hands, "Why? You expecting?" He exhaled sharply to cover a sudden coughing fit. "The great copy ninja Kakashi? Finally settling down with a proper milkmaid? I never thought I'd see the day."

Kakashi growled under his breath at the comment but let it slide any way. Kazuki sighed happily as he leaned against the wall, "I'd have to ask my daughter. She's going to be having a child in a few months and has already bought a full wardrobe for it." He sighed, "Who knew that I'd be tired from being a grandpa without even having a grandchild yet?" He laughed and gestured to the front of the booth. "Kiram's in the front, she'll help you more than me."

The younger man nodded and walked back into the sunlight, creating two copies; one to bring home the food and another to tell his angry students that training was off for the day. "I do wish I could see their faces." Kakashi said, thinking about Naruto and Sakura and how they usually react when he's late. "Oh well, it can't be helped." He said as he spotted the daughter of Kazuki and Chiyo.

"Hey, Kiram. Your dad said you could help me with a problem I have." Kakashi said, propping himself against the low counter.

A pigtailed woman, about twenty, continued to arrange apples on a shelf. Not turning she spoke, "No, Kakashi-san, I will not sleep with you no matter what my father says. Also I will not bear your children or watch after your dog when you leave for a mission." She finally about-faced to see the ninja, crossing her arms, "And I will not help you take over the world using a spoon as our communication device."

The scarecrow blinked at the sudden outburst, "I was just wondering if you could tell me where to get some children's clothing. I have to baby-sit…" He paused, wondering how he could explain this, "A cousin of the great-aunt of the mother of the sister of the father of the father of the uncle of Iruka."

Kiram sighed; shrugging her shoulders and didn't even ask what that meant, "There's a place close by that sells clothing." Her eyes began shine with the light that only an expectant mother could hold, "When you get out the shop turn left twice and find the dead end. You'll know you're there when you see it." She smiled as the ninja walked past, "Just make sure the child lives to see Iruka again."

Kakashi laughed at her words and made sure to ignore the shopping wives that were watching him cautiously, just in case he decided to attack their small children. Satisfied when none turned to yell at him, he turned to grab the barefoot child so they could be on their merry way to the land of children's clothes. He smiled and looked to the spot where he left Iruka last standing.

Well, where he was supposed to be standing.

Empty space was shockingly clear through the flurry of people surrounding it. Cursing, and drawing a few stares from the more overprotective mothers, the copy ninja scanned the crowed area for any clues. _'A kid shouldn't be this hard to find.'_ He thought, running a hand down his face as he continued to search.

Restraining himself from calling out the other teacher's name, that would just earn him even more stares from the women, Kakashi moved into the moving fray of people. He scanned the crowd for the familiar ponytail her had come to know, listening for a terrified scream to alert him of the child's location.

Finding that this wasn't as easy as he thought, everyone weaved in and out of each other never stopping, Kakashi jumped onto the roof of the shop he was just in. While he peered across the small gathering place, nothing looked out of the ordinary to catch his eye. Sighing, the teacher slumped into a sitting position against a chimney.

"This is why you should never have children, Kakashi-sensei."

A gray-haired head snapped around to spot Sasuke standing in back of him, a frowning Iruka in his arms. When the man turned to glance into the child's eyes all he received was a grunt and a turned back. Naruto popped out from behind the other genin, eyebrow twitching.

"You forgot about our training today and you almost lost Iruka-sensei?!" He huffed crossing his arms and struggling to not attack his instructor at the moment, instead opting for the peaceful reroute of energy in glaring. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his teammates actions, showing more emotion thought possible for him.

Kakashi glared at the fox, his posture returned to its lazy self though his mind was churning and preparing several attempts to rescue the other teacher from Sasuke. It was now his turn to ask a question.

"Now what are two fine ninja in training, like yourselves, doing 'together' on this fine day?" He smirked when Naruto's face twisted in agony. "It can't be because you heard Iruka was missing…" A gloved hand rose to tap a masked chin, "The plot thickens."

As Naruto opened his mouth to respond, most likely angry curses, when a voice floated up from the ground.

"Sasuke-kun! Where are you?" Sakura asked the sky, not knowing how close she was to her love at the moment. "Kakashi-sensei is gone and I can't even find Sasuke to hang out with." She mumbled seeing that she was alone in the street with no one from her team. "Maybe I can find cute Iruka-sensei." The pink haired girl blushed profusely and skipped off to see if she could find out where her teacher was in the village.

The little figure in Sasuke's arms shivered at the sound of the girl, a small whimper leaving his lips as he closed a hand on the stoic ninja's shirt. Said genin tried to control his conscience that was screaming, _'Cuddle, god damn you! Cuddle!'_ So he settled for a quick squeeze to the child.

Kakashi, using his magical jounin powers, did the first thing that came to mind, "Let's all go eat!" He said happily, clamping a hand on the shoulder of each student and steering them from Sakura's presence. A few jumps away, a new rooftop and a new part of town, the teacher turned, smiling, to his following ninja. "Where do you want to go eat?"

"You're not allowed to have fun." Naruto said, taking the small child from Sasuke's arms and he moved a pace away from the other. "You have to watch him, Kakashi-sensei." The blond held the child up from under its armpits, the shoeless feet swaying back and forth gleefully.

Iruka didn't find a need to listen to the conversation, basking in the sense of happiness radiating off the person holding him. When the fact that no one was paying attention to him sunk in, the chunin watched the shadows on the ground. It being almost noon, the dark shapes resided directly under their real counterparts.

The youngster watched the moving blobs of black with wonder, not caring that he was placed on the ground so that the big people could argue. Adults were troublesome idiots anyways.

Lifting a hand, Iruka saw another shape form and smiled. He wriggled his fingers experimentally and was delighted to see the new silhouette follow his motions. He giggled at this, quiet enough so that the others wouldn't hear and scold him for making noise.

After a few moments of laughing silently and playing with shadows the teacher became bored, his new child like affinities making him stop and look for a new game. The flying bird shadow ceased its movement as Iruka made a startling conclusion: the shadows were attached to him.

Standing up slowly, so his evil clone wouldn't notice him, the child spied on the surrounding shadows to make sure they wouldn't attack. The rooftop was bare except for a lone cardboard box here and there, but they were to far away to be of any use to him. Sighing in defeat, he thought he would never get rid of his monsters.

Then Iruka noticed something and smiled.

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Kakashi wondered when his students would stop yelling, Naruto, and glaring at him, Sasuke. Having already heard this lecture many times, only usually not concerning a small child, the man yawned underneath his mask. _'This is almost as boring as that mission…'_ He thought, lulling off into his own world.

He blinked as Naruto was suddenly on another topic about the boy in his care. This made the older ninja search for his charge, remembering her was supposed to look after Iruka. Spying the youngster in the corner of his eye, playing by making shadow animals on the ground, a smile slowly crept across Kakashi's face unwilled by the owner.

"You aren't even listening!" Naruto wailed, his hands curling into angry fists. He sighed and looked over at his teammate, a devilish grin crossing his features. "I think it's time we made sensei pay more attention."

Sasuke shrugged, mentally adding a note of _'Kill Naruto'_ quickly to his list of things to do. Crossing his arms in classic style, he glared at the yellow-haired teenager. "How are we going to do this, dobe?"

Naruto flashed him the finger with a muted bastard before continuing. He draped his arm casually over Sasuke's shoulders, leaning on the angry teen to force him to turn from their teacher. "Well, Kakashi-sensei said we should go out to eat, lay low from Sakura spotting you. I think we can play this to our advantage."

"Shopping."

The blond batted an eyelash at this, confusion at the word spoken by Sasuke. He drew a blank at the word meant and caused the other to sigh in frustration.

"Anyway." Naruto continued after checking to make sure the older man wasn't listening. "We should tag along and make sure that Kakashi-sensei takes good care of Iruka-sensei. Plus, we can bleed his wallet dry." He clapped a hand against Sasuke's chest.

Said teen shook the other's arm off, "We should also go shopping. I heard that shopping is really expensive for little kids." He explained after a smirk was aimed at him for his knowledge of clothing.

Battle plan set, they turned back to look for Kakashi and Iruka. Naruto grinning wildly to betray that he had something diabolical on his mind. While Naruto smirked, Sasuke simply thought of how he got himself into these things. Both jaws hit the floor when they finally spotted the two a few feet away.

"You're over reacting you know." Kakashi said lazily as he looked down at the child who was attached to his knee. The teacher glanced up when the presence of his students was felt. He shrugged and walked over, a squeak coming from Iruka each step of the way. "He's afraid of his shadow." The jounin said as he stopped moving, "He thinks it's going to hurt him or-"

"I'm not afraid!" Iruka interrupted, face still pressed into the pant's material. "I'm brave, not my fault they're attacking me."

Kakashi shook his head, "He thinks the shadows are all working together to kill him. So he's going to get them first?" He said as confusion crept into his words. "Something like that, I guess."

Neither Naruto or Sasuke understood what this meant, nor, they judged from the fake smile on Kakashi's face, that he did either. The child sighed and jumped to the ground, pointing down at his shadow clone. "See the evil copy?" He asked, earning a nod from the three, "It dies when I do this." Iruka stepped into the older teacher's larger shadow, this required him to attach to the jounin somehow, and the two shadows melded together to form one, larger blob of darkness. "It's dead." The child said happily, grinning from ear to ear.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow when his teacher did nothing but pat the child on the head. Then he remembered the plan and went into action.

"Excuse me, Kakashi-sensei…" He began, coming over to the man.

To be continued…

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**Previews**

****

More shopping, for clothes this time; rumbly tummies; remembering people.


	4. Shopping

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

****

Finally! My play is over, but, alas, I still have exams on the way so I'm typing this story up in my spare time. Hopefully it will be short but knowing me, it will probably be over twenty chapters. Why do I have so much fun torturing Kakashi and Iruka?

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**Plastic Ponies**

"How did I let myself get talked into this?" Kakashi muttered to the brightly lit ceiling, receiving no answer from the blue panels. He glanced over at the saleswoman across the room; she was currently staring at the full-grown male ninja and wondering what he was doing in a place like this.

The jounin sighed when a different lady walked over, the manager card pinned to her shirt securely, "Pardon me, sir?" She pushed her large framed glasses up quickly, "Do you need any help?" She asked, searching for a reason to explain why the ninja was here. A child was not located near him and a manicured eyebrow rose at this fact, piecing together pieces of evidence against the teacher.

Kakashi groaned, pulling a hand down his mask, _'Great. Now she thinks I'm a pervert…'_ He thought as the female continued to glare at him. Just as he was about to come up with a plausible excuse, something to do with a leaf blower, Iruka came running towards him dressed in a pair of overalls, a simple white t-shirt underneath.

The pony-tailed boy bowed the moment he stopped, almost falling over himself at the sudden change in balance. "Kakashi-san needs to come and find me another outfit." He said happily, pausing for a moment to smile at the woman. "Can we go please?" He asked, the lady nodding in shock at the politeness of the child. "Thank you." He bowed again and grabbed the taller man's hand to drag him away.

Naruto laughed silently from behind a rack of clothing when his teacher walked sullenly after the small youngster. He watched Kakashi stop and pick out an outfit, throwing it at Iruka who had pointed at it. The fox was about to jump out and save his past mentor when Sasuke stopped him with a hit on the head, gesturing to the two teachers' who still hadn't arrived and what they were doing now.

The three year old pouted and crossed his arms as he landed on the ground with a thud. "I don't wanna wear that one." He said, shrugging at the pile of clothes next to him.

"What the hell do you mean?" Kakashi shouted, drawing looks from a few workers, "You picked it out!"

Iruka's eyes grew to the fullest extent, making to older ninja squat to see what was wrong. "You said a bad word!" The chunin yelled as he ran over to Naruto and Sasuke. "Bad word sayer!" He said as he looked over his shoulder at the jounin and squealed as said man approached. "Save me!" He whimpered and clung to Naruto's bright pants, shaking all over. "He's a bad influence!"

Kakashi blinked at the sudden terminology, wondering where a child his age would learn and understand a word like that. Cocking his head to the side, the copy ninja again thought of how much easier ANBU missions were compared to this. Feelings never mattered during those. Especially those of a child.

"You just can't be normal, can you, Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke asked as he stooped to pick up the overall clothed child. Iruka simply clung to his former student and grinned at his assigned parent, who was lowering himself deeper and deeper into the boiling pot every second. The boy giggled and waved at the scarecrow, thus confusing the three ninja to the utmost degree while the saleswoman nodded knowingly at the actions of the child.

The teacher almost fell forward in his brain freeze, trying to figure out what had happened, but was saved by Iruka vaulting onto his chest off of Sasuke. Teetering back and forth for a moment to catch his bearings, the silver haired man idly counted down how many days were left in a week. A rumbling against his chest quickly halted his thinking.

"I'm hungry." Iruka said, rubbing his head against his holder's vest. "Can we please go eat?" He asked, not looking up but allowing his eyes to become half-lidded as he kneaded the fabric in his hand.

The man shrugged and turned to his students, whose arms were suddenly filled with assorted articles of clothing for the child. Rolling his eye and following the two, Kakashi was thankful that he remembered to grab his wallet from the table as he left.

"Want."

He paused and followed the free hand of Iruka that was pointing at the stuffed animal stand. "I want, please." The boy asked again, more politely this time. Complying so that the child wouldn't cry, the ninja walked to the shelves and leaned over so the both could see the wide array of toys.

"Which one do you want?" Kakashi asked, balancing the boy on his hip as he looked over the many different shapes that ranged from inanimate objects, a strange cat-bus, to originals, a stuffed puppy.

Iruka thought this question over hard, his face scrunching into a frown as he jumped onto the top shelf. He picked up certain animals, comparing them in size and weight by lifting them up. Or in the case of a four-foot teddy bear, trying to. Making his decision, a white horse half his size, the child turned to Kakashi and held it out, "His name's Haiku!" He declared proudly.

The scarecrow held his arms open for Iruka to crawl back in with his new friend. Then he walked over to the cash register, where Naruto and Sasuke were waiting patiently, and smiled at the woman behind the counter. Iruka growled at the lady and was preparing to throw his horse if Kakashi hadn't taken it and placed it on the counter.

"He seems really taken with you, sir." The lady said as she began to scan the purchases, her small 'supervisor' tag shining in the scanner light. "The little ragamuffin wouldn't have even let me talk to you if he could help it." She rolled a shoulder at the glaring child that had crossed his arms after the toy was taken from him.

Kakashi looked down at Iruka, who was now pouting at the floor. "I don't know what his problem is. He might just be hungry. I was going to take him out for something after this."

"You're going to take me and Sasuke, right?" Naruto asked, batting his eyelashes stupidly at his teacher. He grinned and clamped an arm around Kakashi's shoulders, standing on a couple of the filled bags to do so. "Cause that would be awesome if jounin's kept their word now a days." He sighed dramatically.

Iruka looked at the blond who was currently eye level with him, "People should follow their own words, Naruto." He said, ignoring the look of shock from his past student at knowing his name.

"He remembered!" The fox yelled as he jumped up and down, crushing the clothing in the bags and drawing stares from every person in the store, which also included both his teachers and his teammate. "Do you know who this is?" He asked using a voice reserved for animals and small children, not a big difference either way, as he pointed at Sasuke.

Sighing, Kakashi handed over a wad of cash to the register; where a new woman was now ringing up the items, a shift change must have happened when he was distracted. _'There goes that A-mission.'_ He thought when his change came back in coin form. _'At least it went to something good.'_ He added as an afterthought, glancing down at the sulking Iruka who was being questioned by Naruto. _'Can't exactly have him running around naked…'_

That sudden train of thought led to another and soon dark blush sprung up onto the man's face, noticeable even under his mask. "Are you okay, Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked, using this as an opportunity to ignore Naruto and his many questions. Muttering a response that seemed positive to him, Kakashi grabbed the bags in his free hand and was about to leave but was stopped by the new woman behind the counter.

"Excuse me, sir?" She asked, looking through her long red bangs and blushing slightly, "I just want to say that your child is beautiful. She makes me want to have a baby myself." She smiled; unaware of the trigger she set off. "Also, since you have bought many marked items," The red head gestured to the pile of garments, still on the counter waiting to be folded, "You get to pick one of the mystery prizes!" She beamed, looking to her supervisor as the other woman slammed her head into the wall at the stupidity of her decision.

The three boys, including the older man, stared blankly at the lady behind the desk, confusing her and making her panic. "I'm sorry, sir." She hastily said, waving her hand to try and get a reaction from the shocked trio, "Did I offend you or your little girl in anyway? I am extremely sorry if I did!" She apologized again, her auburn colored hair frizzing from the many times she bowed.

Kakashi couldn't hold it in any more; he tried and just failed. "You think he's a girl!" The copy ninja yelled, his expression changing from embarrassed to that of mirth as he laughed and almost dropped the scowling boy.

Naruto also began to laugh, falling on the floor and pointing from Iruka to the woman and back again as if trying to explain. Sasuke, being the sensible person he is, walked up to the counter to explain.

"He's not a girl." The read head batted an eye at the sentence, not comprehending it.

With that said, the teen kicked Naruto, to get him up somehow, and walked to the door. He leaned against a pillar, which was made of large, brightly colored blocks, and allowed himself to enjoy the scene going on in front of him.

It had escalated to a new high. Naruto was standing and continuing to laugh at his teachers and the confused worker, who was still bagging the purchases in their bags. "She thinks you're a girl! She thinks you're a girl!" He sang at the fuming boy, receiving a pair of glares in return.

The girl paused, slowly comprehending what was going on, "Oh dear. I'm sorry." She said, bowing again for a different reason. "If I can make it up for you in any way, please tell me." She said, fear rising in her eyes at screwing up at her job.

"He'll be fine." Kakashi said, hitting Naruto so he flew and hit the pillar across from Sasuke. The stunned expression at his actions made him continue, "He deserved that." He grinned underneath his mask, "Though this guy does look a little like a girl, doesn't he?" He pointed happily at Iruka, who was eyeing the finger as if it were a deadly snake and had to be rid of it.

The girl smiled nervously, "Yes, sir. You still need to pick out your two gifts and…" Her eyes widened, "Is it okay that he's biting your finger?" She quickly asked; gesturing to the child who had his teeth clamped around the teacher's finger.

"Sure, sure." The gray-haired man said, shrugging. "Now what was that about mystery prizes?"

The girl blushed and ducked under the counter, reappearing with two boxes. "Please choose one. I hope what you find makes you happy."

Iruka growled, finger still in his mouth and holding his stuffed animal to his chest. Kakashi grabbed the box closest to him, revealing a coupon for something. "I guess I'll take this." Upon closer examination, the teacher noted that it was only redeemable at ramen stores/restaurants. _'Now I have to take him out for food…Hurrah, hurrah.'_

"In choosing this, you gave up…" The saleswoman lifted up the other box, showing a photograph of Gai-sensei. "An actual autographed picture of Rock Lee's sensei!" She smiled, handing over all the bags to Kakashi. "You may want to get your hand back if you want to carry all of these." She grinned and tapped her headband, turning to the nest person in line who was a new mother, judging by the atmosphere of giddiness around her.

The man grumbled to himself as he carried the many bags, using a chakra technique to strengthen his arm. "Let's go." He said as he walked past Sasuke and the still unconscious Naruto, pushing open the swing door with his shoulder. It was late afternoon, shadows were long and the streets were basked in an unearthly orange glow. "You doing okay back there?" Kakashi asked, looking back at Sasuke in amusement.

"Fine. Just fine." Said student grumbled, hoisting Naruto's body up higher when it slipped down his back.

Nodding, Kakashi shifted his weight so Iruka wouldn't fall out of his arm's nook and so he could get a better grip on the handle of the bags. "I'm going to go stop by my house, drop this junk off. After that's done I'm going to take you both out, considering what you had to go through today."

"Aw, you kept your promise!" Naruto said, his head resting on top of Sasuke's own and riding piggyback. "I knew there was a good bone somewhere in your body!" He smiled, gripping harder when Sasuke struggled to pry him off. "Smile!" He yelled, pulling on the corners of the teen's mouth and forcing him to have a strained smile plastered across his face.

Sasuke growled and jerked his head down, drawing the attention of the people on the street. "I'm going to kill you!" The people watched intently, surging forward to look at the enraged boy yell at the monkey on his back. "The minute you get off!"

"Then I won't get off." Naruto taunted, squeezing even tighter against Sasuke's back. "Let's see you beat me now!" He said, sticking his tongue out at the watching crowd.

Kakashi watched with mild delight as Iruka glanced from the feuding teens and back to Haiku, deciding which was worth more of his time. The ninja laughed silently when even more citizens arrived, their attention focusing on the pair. "Do you think I should help them out?" Kakashi asked, looking down at the child he held.

"Why? I think Naruto deserves what's coming." The pony tailed boy said, stretching while he yawned to relax his small body against Kakashi's.

The older teacher shot a withered look at Iruka, "I don't think even Sasuke deserves this." He commented, still watching Naruto bronco ride the dark haired boy at the instant.

Chocolate eyes gazed up into a masked face. "Who's Sasuke?" The child asked, a worried look marring his tan features. "I don't remember…" He began, frustration becoming evident as his hands turned into fists and a strangled whimper came from his pursed lips.

The unexpected change in attitude stunned the jounin, both eyes widening at the question aimed his way. _'He doesn't remember?'_ He thought, being pushed to the side by a group of children wanting to see the commotion. The scarecrow grinned down at the bewildered child, features not seen because of his mask. "I'll explain all of this when we're eating. I'll also explain what's in store for you in the next few days."

A small smile slowly spread across Iruka's face, uncertain of what was happening but trying to make the best of it. Yawning, he rubbed his head against the warm vested body and wondered idly when they were going to eat. The young boy waited for a few more minutes, looking at the fight that was slowly progressed to more and more violence. "Can we go now?" He voiced his opinion, stomach no longer waiting for the feud to finish and boredom settling in.

Silently agreeing, Kakashi did the first thing that came to mind from his jounin training, which was to throw a shuriken. Without a second thought the teacher had already launched one of his deadly weapons at the students, hoping to shock them apart from their horseplay in the yard. Unfortunately for the renowned ninja the only things in his hand were Iruka and a large amount of bags.

Hurled with the precision that Kakashi was known for, a three year old zoomed through the air, past tens of people, towards a pair of teens.

The man failed to understand that children should not be chucked across long distances since they are prone to hit things after a short while. Luckily for the thrown, these upstart ninja had excellent reflexes. But the thrower wouldn't be so fortunate, angry looks were already being shot at him.

Naruto looked like an owl, his eyes huge and glassy; it didn't help that his hair also looked like a bird's crest. The attack by his sensei, which used another teacher as a weapon, had forced him to let go of pulling Sasuke's hair. Perched precariously on the small of his teammate's back and holding on with legs wrapped around Sasuke's waist, Naruto's hands were suddenly filled with a flailing Iruka.

The crowd parted so that everyone could see the villan staring at his hand like it betrayed him. Kakashi's head snapped upwards when a person coughed, his visible eye widening at the unified glare. Backing up slightly, the copy ninja struggled to come up with a good excuse before they stoned him, or even worse, took away his Come Come Paradise books.

"You see…" He began, pausing when no one interrupted him. Breathing a sigh, he continued, "He had an accident and this is a new shirt so, naturally-"

"LIAR!" Iruka yelled, fighting tooth and nail to escape from Naruto's arms. A sudden kick to the groin made the blond let go, fall over and take Sasuke with him.

Rolling Naruto off him, the three year old brushed himself off professionally under the gaze of the surrounding people. Straightening his pair of overalls with a flick of the wrist and moving his headband, which had shifted around his neck, back to the front. He walked as quickly as his small legs could to Kakashi, an angry gleam in his eyes. Stopping at the ninja and looking up, the crowd could only wonder what was going to happen next.

Iruka took in a large breath, many people doing the same and leaning closer to hear the comeback of the boy. With one swift motion he kicked Kakashi in the shin, very painful, and then asked sweetly, "Pick me up, please?" As he waited, he retrieved his fallen Haiku and hugged him quickly.

Gritting his teeth at the shot of pain traveling up his leg, the copy ninja regretted changing Iruka into a child once again. A growl from below reminded him of the small request from the small child and he dropped the bags at his side, squatting to pick him up and knowing more pain was to follow.

Instead of hitting him in the face, like Kakashi expected him to do, Iruka leaned towards Kakashi's ear and checked to make sure none of the people were close enough to listen. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-san." The child said, his hand coming up to cup so it would look like he was telling the man a secret. "Had to do something that seemed mean for a child." He giggled, "Though Naruto did have a funny face. Are we going to eat soon?" He asked, butting his head against the side of the ninja's head in annoyance.

Kakashi nodded and waved to the people, "It seems we've worked out our differences!" He smiled, bending over to grab the bags of clothing. Sags of disbelief rippled through the people, Konohagakure village residents were getting stranger and stranger every week, the majority thought as some moved off to go home. It was almost six, so many of them wanted to go eat, watch some TV after said eating and then, maybe, go to sleep if they didn't have a mission or something of the sort to complete beforehand.

Naruto was jolted awake by one of the people stepping on his face, a dull reminder that he was, indeed, still alive for the moment. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he looked around only to see Sasuke glaring daggers at him. "What did I do now?" He asked, crossing his arms in defiance.

"You're sitting on me." Sasuke ground through his teeth. Quickly doing a pushup, and lifting Naruto off the ground while he did so, the older teen stood and cracked his neck.

Naruto grimaced as he saw Kakashi and Iruka, _'They're going to kill me. But then again, Kakashi-sensei did throw Iruka-san pretty hard.'_ He thought, wondering what sort of tombstone he should buy.

Waltzing over to the two boys, Kakashi smiled under his mask. "Let's go eat!" He replied cheerfully, strange considering he was always lazy.

Naruto peered out from his blocking hands, wondering which god was smiling on him, "YES! To Ichiraku Ramen we go!"

To be continued…

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**Previews**

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Ramen shop waitresses; Food fights; other teachers and bath time.


	5. Ichiraku Ramen

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

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Yeah. My father woun't give me my password to my AOL account, so that means I can't go on-line even though I finished this chapter. Most of my school stuff is over but I still have exams and make sure that I pass all my courses. Oh well, I enjoyed writing the adventures of Kakashi taking care of Iruka… Even if I do hate my dad.

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**Plastic Ponies**

Kakashi sighed happily when they finally made it to the restaurant.

It had been one problem after another as the older ninja tried to lead the two teens and Iruka to the restaurant. First there was the incident with Naruto and the cat, caused by Iruka picking up the feline and throwing it at the blond to see if he could catch it. After many scratches, and a strict scolding to the brown-haired child about tossing small animals, they continued on their way.

Then there was Sasuke. It wasn't his fault but Naruto had somehow gotten him in trouble, again. It began with the fox using his jutsu to change into a copy and being annoying, this consisted with running into multiple objects and saying, "I'm pretty. I'm Sasuke." Which, afterwards, resulted in the real Uchiha clan survivor beating the imposter to the edge of life. As punishment, their teacher sent the instigator, Naruto, with the bags and clothes to Iruka's house; trusting him to know where the location was.

_'There are times when I wonder about my sanity.'_ Kakashi thought as they slid into a booth. _'When did it become my mission to be a babysitter?'_ He questioned the actions of the hokage at the moment, his body maneuvering itself between the two teens somehow. "When are you two going to stop this childish arguments?" The teacher asked, looking from the fuming Sasuke to the humming Naruto.

Both boys stopped what they were doing and glared at the other, clearly stating they were never going to stop. "They're just stupid." Iruka said, shrugging as he played with the salt and peppershaker; making them dance across the wood table. Finding this boring after the salt 'accidentally' fell onto the floor, breaking cleanly in half, the child sighed and stared at the ceiling. "When are we going to eat?" He whined, swinging his feet back and forth.

As if on cue, a girl jogged out with a pad and pencil in hand. "Hello, what can I get for you today?" She smiled, her pale hair tied in the back by green ribbons, curled in the shape of small buns.

Kakashi looked from girl to his students, noting how neither looked at the woman or the strange pair of ears on her head that were held on by her village headband. Turning, about to respond to the first question, the copy ninja was interrupted by Iruka slapping his small hand on the surface. "I want a number seven with extra fishcakes!" He announced, grinning ear to ear when the neko lady wrote down his order.

"I just want to say, you have to be the cutest, little kid I've seen all today!" She said, bending over to pinch the boy's cheek and purr appreciatively at him.

Kakashi chuckled under his breath, looking over the menu with the air of someone who had come many times but was maybe deciding to change the routine. "I guess I'll have a three." He settled for his usual, "You guys?" He shoved at Naruto, who was sitting next to him, making the fox jerk from his vegetable like state and glance around. "Order."

The boy across from Kakashi lifted his head from reading, closing the menu with a decisive air as he handed it to the woman. "I'll take the fifteen, extra tomatoes." Sasuke said, leaning back into the chair and trying to ignore the small body next to him that was slowly pulling its feet up.

"Yes. Thank you." The cat said, her short skirt flaring out from the many layers of lace underneath. "Can I get you anything, sir?" She asked Naruto, bending over to try and see into his eyes. "If he isn't going to order yet," she stood up after a moment, brushing off her skirt with the back of her hand, "can I get any of you a soda? Or would you prefer some tea, sir?" She asked Kakashi, bowing slightly in his direction.

Sasuke growled under his breath at Naruto's indecision, wondering if he could even read what was written in front of him on the menu. The teen looked down when a sudden tightness clenched around his arm. Seeing bright, brown eyes staring up at him, Sasuke knew that this meal wouldn't be as peaceful as he hoped. "What?" He asked, shifting his weight so that he was facing the teacher.

"I gotta go." Iruka whispered, tugging the shirt's sleeve and glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one else hear what he said to the stoic ninja.

Sasuke's eyes widened at the simple phrase, his brain going into overdrive to understand what that meant. He was the youngest child, so he would've never had to hear this before because he was always the one asking his older brother. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, it suddenly snapped when Iruka continued to tug insistently.

The child whimpered and ignored the looks he was getting from Kakashi and Naruto, one thing on his mind at the moment: Pee. "Please, can we go?" He whispered again to Sasuke, jumping onto the floor and waiting for the much taller teen to follow.

"Fine." Sasuke sighed, scooting out of the booth and grasping the hand of Iruka's in his own. "We'll be right back." He said over his shoulder to his teacher and teammate, "Iruka-san has something to do." He finished, walking to the hallway where he knew the restrooms were located.

Pushing open the door, Sasuke ushered the small child into the empty room, locking the main door behind him. Turning from the younger teacher, the black-haired teen checked each of the stalls to make sure they were completely alone. "You know what to do." He muttered, turning away to the sink to check the strain that the stress was having on him. _'At this rate, I'm going to be as jumpy as that idiot Naruto…'_

A tug on his pant leg brought the ninja to his senses, looking down to see Iruka staring at him. "What do you want now?" He said, silently cursing himself for making it sound like he was whining.

The child's eyes narrowed, crossing his arms importantly as his face screwed up adorably as he asked for help. "I need you to open the door… Please." He grumbled, turning his head to stare at his sandaled feet as rocked back and forth.

Sasuke growled under his breath, shoving open the metal door and pushing the child into it. "I'm going back outside." He announced, knowing he should watch after the little boy but not wanting to. He waltzed out of the tiled area, unlocking the door after him so other men could go to the bathroom.

The teen sighed as the door closed, resting his back against the wood to glare across the room at Naruto and Kakashi. Grumbling under his breath as he pushed off to rejoin them, Sasuke slouched into the booth where a fizzing soda was waiting for him. Glancing into the cup, checking to make sure it wasn't eroding the glass surrounding it, Sasuke frowned; he didn't order a drink, if he recalled.

"I ordered it."

Sasuke's head snapped up from examining the liquid, seeing Kakashi still sitting across from him, only now with a bottle of warm sake next to him. "It had better not be poisoned…" he muttered fiercely, irritated that someone else ordered a part of his meal.

Kakashi grinned under his mask, "You don't trust your sensei? What type of ninja are you?" He placed his small ceramic cup onto the table top, glancing behind Sasuke, "Where's Iruka?" He asked, trying to keep the edge out off his voice and succeeding from his many years of experience as an assassin.

Sasuke, still staring suspiciously at his glass, shrugged as he swirled his drink, "He needed to go, so I took him to the bathroom." He took an experimental sip and grimaced, diet soda was never as good as the original.

Silence reigned over the table for a moment; Naruto swore he could hear a cricket chirp in the background, before Kakashi stood up and leaned forward. "Do not tell me you left a three-year old boy, alone, in a large bathroom." His eye narrowed.

Sasuke took another gulp of the liquid, quenching his thirst under the interrogation of his teacher, "Fine. I won't say anything." He said, looking at Kakashi square in the eye as if daring him to continue.

Kakashi sighed and pushed Naruto out of the booth, the boy landing ungracefully on the floor, and strolled over to the bathroom. "I'll make sure he wasn't stolen by a pedophile or an over zealous woman who saw him enter the bathroom." He said, raising a hand in bored fashion. "Make sure I get the right order." The gray-haired man said as he pushed open the door and left his students behind, hoping that this wasn't a fatal mistake on his part.

The elite ninja glanced around the tile-covered room, taking in every possible escape route as he was trained to do since he was six. "Oi, Iruka! You in here?" He asked to the empty space, his words reverberating off the walls. Kakashi smiled and asked again, "Oh little Iruka! Where are you?" He sang mischievously, walking to a bathroom stall to check if anyone was hiding in it or otherwise.

"Not over here!" The chunin sang back, just as playfully.

A muffled squeak came from the corner directly behind the stall's wall, sending Kakashi in that direction to investigate. He looked around the corner, covering his footsteps by treading cautiously. He spotted the stuffed animal first, it being white and shining glaringly against the dark blue tiles. Reaching for it, he lifted it up to only find a small child attached to the colorless horse.

Iruka was hugging the animal as hard as he could, body curled up to be almost the same size as his toy. "Are you having fun?" Kakashi said, chuckling softly as the boy slowly lost his grip on his stuffed animal and slid onto the floor with a dull thump. "Did you finish what you came to do?" He looked down at the child, his hands on his hips and watching the brown eyes open to stare at him.

"I didn't have to go!" Iruka happily answered as he stood, trying to reach for his pony but being shorter than the other ninja's knee had many disadvantages. "Can I have Haiku back?" He said, huffing when Kakashi taunted him more by waving it over his head. Turning from the man, the boy walked to the door and leaned on the wall next to it.

"If you're going to be so immature, I should just get someone else to look after me." He glanced through his lashes, a malicious grin spreading across his tan face, "Of course, Hokage-sama wouldn't be happy if he hear that one of his jounin's couldn't control a three-year old." He scratched his nose, pretending to not understand what he just said.

Pacing over, Kakashi couldn't believe that the smile was growing even larger on the child's face. Scowling down at the child, he dropped the plush toy. "Don't even try it." He said, hiding his amusement from the mini Iruka scowling up at him. "I could take you on any day of the week."

"I'd beat you any day." The chunin said, inspecting his fingernails and tapping his foot. Before Kakashi could respond, the boy's head snapped up. "Five days, to be exact." He held up an open hand to signify his challenge to the older ninja. "I'll see you then." He then abruptly groaned in frustration, "Can we go eat now? I obviously can't open the door and you're just standing there like some idiot." The tapping of his sandaled foot sped up.

"Man, you get testy when you're hungry, don't you?" Kakashi said as he squatted, pinching a cheek with one hand and picking up the boy in the other. "Guess we're going to have to remedy that, eh?" He poked the child in the stomach, earning a squirm and whine.

Kakashi was expecting many things to happen when he walked out of the restroom. One idea was Sasuke and Naruto fighting tooth and nail over the last breadstick, but then the teacher remembered that this was Ichiraku Ramen and they didn't serve Italian food. _'As long as they aren't killing the other customers it really doesn't matter.'_ He thought, allowing the door to close behind him and leaving him open for an attack.

And the attack came, in the form of Kakashi's number three meal.

The boiling hot liquid didn't bother the ninja that much; his clothing protected most of his body, truth be told. It was the noodles. The noodles sliding down his face while the bowl they were in, upside down on the man's head, tipped to the side and fell onto the ground.

"What are those little…" Kakashi muttered, kicking the bowl to the side and wiping away the liquid soaked noodles from his eyesight to spot his two students. Having a food fight, no less.

Naruto ducked under a table when a cup, sailing through the air with deadly precision, slammed into the wall where the teen's head used to be. Sticking out his tongue, after dodging the falling glass shards, Naruto picked up a different dish and ran to another shelter. "If you just stopped being such a bastard!" He yelled, chucking the platter from behind the overturned chair.

The Uchiha child glared as he caught the plate, still moving, on his fingertips. "Maybe if you weren't such a dobe." He said, unemotional as ever. He picked up a closed mustard cup, balancing it on his foot as he grabbed a spoon. "Now." Sasuke then began to twirl the spoon to get it spinning as fast as the platter, preparing to throw it. "Time to put you in your place." He then kicked the cup at Naruto, using the propulsion to spin and throw the spoon at the same time.

Naruto, using the skills he had learned from being Kakashi's student, flipped onto a table. "Not if I do it first!" He quickly picked up another plate, chucking it at the boy across the room. Unluckily for Iruka, Sasuke blocked the plate and sent it promptly flying to the child.

Iruka growled as Sasuke's order landed on him, the extra tomatoes being crushed into his hair, but still protecting Haiku with his body. "I would like it if you ended this soon." He said, craning his head up to look Kakashi through one eye, the other was closed to avoid the tomato liquid from going into it. Kakashi shrugged, enjoying the free entertainment.

The other ninja in the restaurant had stopped eating; instead choosing to watch the two teens fight it out. Many were in the process of chewing, stray noodles sticking out of their closed mouths. A man was watching intently, not noticing that his food was halfway to his mouth, snapping out of his trance when the noodles fell back into his bowl with a splash. A woman shrieked when Naruto's chopstick deflected the spoon, both weapons imbedded in her table and still quivering from the force.

A door creak was heard opening in the quiet and every head in the area turned to see the waitress coming out from behind the kitchen counter, a bowl resting on her head with two more balanced on each arm. Her eyes were closed, so she was obviously using a ninja talent of the sort, walking over to a table and setting down the dishes with a practiced air. "May you enjoy your meal!" She said cheerfully, brushing her hands on her short skirt.

She turned, finally seeing the destruction that had happened to the restaurant. Instead of shock, like many believed the girl would have, anger seeped into the eyes of the waitress. "What did you do!" She exploded, while walking over to Naruto and Sasuke. Both boys, forgetting about their fight, chose this as the moment to join forces against evil. Mainly, a woman surrounded by many sharp objects and who was currently peeved off.

Nobody was eating; everyone's attention was now on the trio. "This all comes out of my paycheck!" The girl continued, striding over to the teens and grabbing both by the fronts of their shirts. "If you're done wrecking Ichiraku Ramen," She dragged the boys over to the door, kicking it open with a sandaled foot, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The neko girl then promptly tossed both out the door and turned around, clamping her hands in a final way.

She bowed deeply, her ribbons going past her to almost reach her knees. "I apologize for any inconvenience those ninja might have caused for you all." She gestured to the area, some places still smoking from the recent battle. "This shall all be repaired in a few moments. I apologize again and may you all enjoy the remainder of your meals." She then walked back behind the counter, to probably see what other damage she could spot from the different viewpoint.

The murmuring of the restaurant slowly began again, the clinking of chopsticks against the plates covering quieter conversations. "You want to wait?" Kakashi asked Iruka, jostling the child out of his actions of tugging a strand of tomato out from his pigtail. "Earth to chunin."

"Not really." Iruka yawned, "Not hungry." He continued, hugging Haiku and nuzzling into Kakashi. "But I'm going to have to change. Tomato doesn't dry well." He added, idly scraping a bit of the red vegetable from his overalls.

"Plus you want to go to sleep." The man said, commenting on the child's habit of yawning. He walked past the other sitting ninja to the entrance, sidestepping the fallen debris and thinking of a punishment for the two who caused it. "I'll see if the baths are open. If they aren't, well… You'll just have to live with being the lord of tomato past until tomorrow." A grunt of annoyance floated up from where Iruka was sitting in the scarecrow's arms.

The night was pleasantly cool compared to the stifling heat of the restaurant, a light breeze ruffling through Kakashi's hair. The jounin stopped near the entryway, thinking about if he should go directly to the baths or wander around the village for a while. "Are we leaving?" Iruka asked, looking up at the one who held him.

"Maybe…" Kakashi drawled, fondly patting the child on the head. "But that depends on if we go home or not and find someone." He began to walk in the direction of his house, "You should never go to the bathhouse without someone else, you know." The ninja said, turning his body slightly so they continued to walk in circle over circle, coming closer to his house every curve.

Iruka growled, the sound coming small from his throat. "If you're going to keep going in circles, I'm going to start humming." The child said, beginning a nasally tune that would grate the nerves of any saint. And the great ninja Hatake Kakashi was anything but a saint.

He could only stand a minute of the pitching melody.

"If you don't stop that right now…" He grated through his teeth, trying to control the hand that was lifting to kill the child in his arms.

Iruka grinned, hugging Haiku close, "You'll what? Smite me?" He said, giggling and rubbing his head against Kakashi, effectively leaving a tomato stain on the green vest. "I don't think you can do that, but how about this? If I beat you in brains, we'll go to the baths. You win, we will go to your house."

"Like you'd ever beat me in a challenge of intellect." Kakashi said, sure in his victory against the child.

* * *

Kakashi hissed as he slid into the water, relaxing only when more than half of his body was under the steaming water. _'Damn little kid… Thinks he's so smart.'_ He thought, allowing the heat to take away the demands and stresses of his current life.

The only sounds in the silence, the roar of the lion head fountains gushing water into the tubs, were muted from the thick steam. A splash was heard on the other side of the dividing wall, revealing that there was a woman, or more, in the baths at the same time as the scarecrow. Only one other person was on the same side of the baths at this time with Kakashi, but he was a little smaller due to the copy ninja.

His hitai-ate and clothing in a changing room locker, along with Iruka's, left Kakashi naked except for a towel wrapped around the bottom half of his face. He rested his elbows on the tiled edge surrounding him, glancing around to try and find out where the little hellion was. _'It could be worse.'_ He thought, finally unwinding the rest of the way as the water lapped at his lower chest, _'A lot of people could be here.' _His train of thought stopped, _'Then again, if a lot of people were here, the brat wouldn't act up as much.'_

As that thought left his mind, the jounin was hit from the front by a spray of water. Snapping from his tranquility, Kakashi glared at Iruka who was floating innocently next to a huge fountain. Brown eyes looked over, shock sprinkled faintly over the youngster's face. "You don't think I did it, do you?" He asked, a small hand coming up from the water to land on his chest in an offended way.

"You're the only one here." Kakashi responded, his muscles tensing again, except much lazier in the hot water. "And I think your days are numbered, little boy."

Iruka frowned, "Fine. Don't believe me." He then pointed at something behind Kakashi, "Even though she did do it." He grumbled, floating over to a step to sulk on.

"What are you talking about?" The man asked, turning to look behind him, only to find Kurenai resting on top of the dividing wall smiling down. Mentally screaming at the sight, he chose instead to glare at the woman. "What are you doing here?"

The woman rested her head on her crossed arms, "Can't I enjoy my spare time with a soothing soak. Plus, it isn't a crime to come to the baths, is it?" She glanced over to the child. "So that's what Iruka looks like now a days. I heard rumors but couldn't believe them until I saw it for myself. He's so cute; don't know why the Hokage is letting you take care of him instead of me." She grumbled, her face changing to that of a pout and scaring Kakashi even more so.

Kakashi reminded himself to kill Iruka after this, "Maybe because he trusts the chunin in my care and knows I won't kill it for fun." He gestured for Iruka to come over, trying not to sigh when the child obeyed for once.

"I wouldn't kill him. He much to kawaii." The jounin said, her hair held up in a loose bun on top of her head. "You want to trade him to me? I'll give you Kiba." She said, eyes gleaming unnaturally. "I have to have the little Iruka." Her smile became insane, as if she was going to leap over the divider and steal the chunin then and there.

"Soothing soak, my ass. He isn't a piece of property to begin with." Kakashi responded, getting out of the water after grabbing Iruka under an arm. "If you want to take care of him, you're going to have to ask him." He glanced down at the child, struggling to get back into the water, "And you'd also have to ask the Hokage. With that said, I'm getting out of here before you kill me with a bar of soap for him then tell the hokage it was an accident."

Kurenai turned to the other women on the side, talking vividly to them before turning back, "But I wanna hold him!" She yelled, shaking her fist to punctuate her point at the retreating Kakashi's back. "If you don't give him to me, I'm going to steal him!" She screamed as Kakashi, not caring that he was naked and walking away from her.

Closing the door behind them, shutting out the steam and the catcalls, the jounin looked down at the blinking Iruka hanging limply from his arm. "This is the last time I go to the baths with you." He growled, grabbing a towel to wrap the child in and then pulling on his pants; not caring that they were becoming wet from his still damp skin. "You understand?"

"Nani?" Iruka began as he pulled his hair into a ponytail, a small grin forming on his lips, "Don't tell me you aren't refreshed, Kakashi-san?" He finished, having to quickly dodge to avoid the sandal that was thrown his way.

To be continued…

* * *

**Previews**

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Going to the park; Meeting old friends; Visiting the Hokage.


	6. Park Time

**Disclaimer**

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I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

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I know originally this chapter was supposed to have Kakashi and Iruka visiting the hokage but something happened when I was writing this. I suddenly had an affliction to winged animals, especially moths. I don't know how it happened, or why, except it must have something to do the nature show that I was watching on t.v

Anyway, I suggest to you all who actually read the little "previews" at the bottom. No longer trust them. My brain is slowly changing the story line that I had originally laid out for each day. Damn my inconsistence and me. Also, this chapter is a little longer than the coming rest because I have tests/exams coming up and I can only use these few days to study before I leave for a two-week vacation in Colorado. No computer there. Oh well.

Another thing that changed this story is the fact that I cannot use three of the fingertips on my right hand. I had to do a chalk picture and I accidentally rubbed in with my hand too many times, so now I have four blood blisters and gashes on both hands. It hurts to type. A lot.

With that said, may you enjoy the next chapter in my story. I know I did.

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

The next morning Kakashi was in better spirits, having bathed the night before accompanied by a full night's of sleep. The ninja glanced down to make sure Iruka was still snug against his chest. He smiled when he located the softly snoring child, running a hand through the loose end of the ponytail. The fact that the hair was in its tie already proved that the child had already been up and was now pretending to be asleep.__

_'I can't get attached to him.'_ Kakashi thought, shifting his weight on the bed to pull the blanket up higher. _'He's going to be changing back in a few days.'_ He racked his brain for a number, actually massaging his head as if it could help. _'Ah, four days.'_ He stopped the circular motion, eyes widening. "And he's already challenged me to fight." The man muttered, his body slumping back down into the sheets.

The simple motion made Iruka grunt, burrowing deeper into the warmth in front of him. His pajamas, printed with his namesake, were barely seen over the plush blanket. He murmured and rolled onto his back, leg twitching from a dream and a smile curling on his lips. His eyes slowly opened, closing slightly when the morning light hit them, "Morning?" The child asked, uncertain of his surroundings at the moment.

"Yes, dolphin." Kakashi responded, using the childhood nickname of Iruka while he sat up and stretched. When he heard the satisfying pop of his spine, the ninja relaxed and turned to the child, "You have to wake up now." He said, surprised when the boy didn't listen, so he shoved the boy gently. Kakashi grinned when the chunin groaned and curled back into a ball, his legs tucked against his chest.

"Don't want to wake up." Iruka murmured into a pillow, rubbing his head to find a comfortable spot. "You go and I'll catch," He yawned, "up later." The small head flopped down on the mattress as the statement was finished, adding a strange finality to his tone.

Kakashi swung his legs over the side of the bed, flinching slightly when his feet hit the cold floor. "If you don't wake up I'm going to be late to meet my students."

"Like you care about being late." Iruka said, muffled from being under the blankets.

"I'll be very angry." Still no progress from the blanket covered mass. "I'm meeting them in the park." Kakashi tried as a last stand, hoping that this would do something that his other arguments didn't.

One eye opened, glancing over Iruka's shoulder, "Park?"

"Yeah, the park." The ninja answered, already halfway changed into his uniform. "But why do you care? You're too busy sleeping to get ready in time." Kakashi said, sliding on his vest and checking the pockets.

Iruka rolled over so he was facing Kakashi, who had sat back onto the bed and was searching for a scroll. "Wait for me." The child said before he hopped off the bed with ease and ran into the other room, where the clothing that was bought from the day before was located.

The copy ninja sighed as he popped the found scroll into its compartment, grabbing a Come Come Paradise book off the nightstand and shoving it in his back pocket. "Little kid thinks he's so smart. Now I got to wait for him to get dressed and," When he looked up Iruka was in the doorway, dressed and ready for the new day.

A simple white shirt covered his lithe frame, the symbol of Konohagakure printed in a dark red ink. Jean shorts covered his lower half while his new pair of sandals were gripped tightly in one of his hands. "Ready!" He yelled, jumping into the arms of Kakashi and laughing. "Are we going?" The child questioned, looking up after a moment.

Kakashi growled and walked into the kitchen, flicking on the light switch as he strolled in. "You want to eat?" He asked, setting the child on the counter to root through the refridgerator. "Hello?" The ninja raised his head from the fridge to find Iruka, instead of on the counter, now on the kitchen table leafing through a phone book. "What are you doing now?" Kakashi asked as he backed from the fridge, closing it with a quick kick, and placed his orange juice on the table to grab the child's book.

The young boy crossed his arms and pouted, looking up at Kakashi with narrowed eyes. "Not doing anything." He muttered, standing up on the table but only coming up to the other ninja's chest. "Are we going yet?" The child repeated his question, cocking his head to the side when no answer came. He poked Kakashi in the chest, giggling when nothing happened, "He must be asleep again." Instead of trying to see if he could wake up the other ninja, Kakashi was awake but humoring the child, Iruka slid down onto the tiled floor and wandered around on the ground.

Not knowing that the child had left to explore the floor, Kakashi continued to stand in place with his eyes closed. Only the screech of something being scraped across the floor made the ninja twitch in irritation. His one eye snapping open, he quickly realized that the child in his care was now gone. Listening closely, the screeching noise now closer, he located the boy underneath the table with a shuriken: scraping away the tile little by little.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Kakashi yelled, almost toppling the table over in his rush to save his floor. Wincing at the huge gash in the white floor, he glared at the child who was smiling in his hands. "What do you have to say for yourself?" He questioned, wanting to guilt the boy but not knowing that children can be put through guilt trips, especially ones who used to teach those children.

Iruka placed a finger to his chin in thought, a frown showing that he was deep in reflection. "Well, I know how to make the best party ever with only a dash of nutmeg and a flamethrower." He grinned; clapping his hands at the horrified look on the other's face. "Or, if you aren't into throwing parties. I can show you how to make a soccer ball out of toothpicks, maybe?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as the grip surrounding his belly slackened.

The scarecrow tightened his hold at the last moment, freezing Iruka with his arms pressed against the sides of his head. "I think it's time that we go to the park." The last phrase from the child had convinced the ninja not to leave Iruka at his house alone. Ever.

"But I don't have to." The boy responded, his voice sounding strange from the squished position his upper body was in. He had changed his mind and decided that sleeping in the warm bed seemed more inviting then traveling to a park with his supervisor. "I could stay home and watch… The telephone all day and take messages for you." Iruka smiled, straining the sides of his mouth in his effort to sway the man.

A word never leaving his lips, Kakashi hauled the child up so he was in a normal arrangement and grabbed the pair of sandals off the table before walking to the doorway. Slipping on his own pair of sandals, he pushed open his door and locked it behind; he had dropped the child's pair of shoes onto the ground outside to perform this action.

"Now, Iruka, listen to me closely. _Closely._ Are you listening? Look at me. No, not at your shoes, look at me. Me. Okay, are you listening? Look at me. Iruka_. Pay attention_. Okay?" Kakashi growled when the child continued to ignore him, instead choosing to concentrate on putting on his shoes. Clenching his fist in frustration, the ninja turned and began to walk to his prior engagement; wishing he could just fight the other and get it over with.

_'Then I wouldn't have to deal with any more of this.'_ He thought, turning a road that lead to the park. He stopped abruptly and cursed silently at leaving the child behind, also at his own foolishness, and turned to walk back to find Iruka still sitting on the ground in front of his house. "Are you coming or not?" He questioned, noticing how the chunin seemed to be focused on something on the ground.

"Maybe." The boy responded, voice sounding far away. "But first I have to help him."

Kakashi was about to ask who when the smaller ninja picked up a moth from the ground, being careful to not touch the wings, and set it down in the shade. "Are you better now?" Iruka asked the winged bug, picking up a leaf to shift the small creature onto.

"Can he come?" Iruka said while holding up the leaf towards the shinobi. "He's hurt and I want to bring him with up to the park so he can get better. If he stays here he's going to get stepped on." The child's eyes filled with tears when Kakashi didn't respond right away, thinking that all was lost for his new friend.

"If you bring him will you stop arguing and go to the park, no problem?" The man asked, tapping his foot in annoyance and impatience; they were his two best traits. The child in his care smiled and nodded before hugging Kakashi's leg and beginning to walk carefully down the road, balancing the small insect on its green perch.

Wondering if he could send children to zoos as part of the exhibit, Kakashi followed closely behind. His usual lazy stance in place, the scarecrow's eye drooped into place to watch the child walking cautiously next to him. Instead of starting a conversation, like any normal person; he was neither normal or considered a person by many; Kakashi chose to concentrate and what his students were most likely going to do today.

_'Let's see. Naruto will be an idiot, like normal.'_ He thought, hand coming up to rest on his chin. _'Sasuke is probably angry about yesterday, so I'll stay out of his way, at least until he's to tired to fight back. And Sakura,'_ The jounin glanced over at Iruka, who was now whispering quietly to the bug, _'She'll hold him hostage unless I hand him, and the mission, over to her.'_ He groaned out loud as they neared the park.

"What's wrong with you?"

Turning his head to answer, Kakashi saw that Iruka was not talking to him but to his new companion. "Don't tell me you injured your wing? What?" The boy lowered his head to listen, "Oh." He nodded happily in understanding, "Your just tired. Well, you should have told me that in place of saying you were attacked. You really have to learn how to not lie. It'll help you in the long run of life."

Listening to the words of wisdom coming from the miniature chunin, Kakashi smiled as he walked into the green field where many ninja were laughing or playing with each other on their days off. Spotting his students underneath one of the large oaks, the teacher set off to receive his daily retribution from the genin.

He raised his hand in a greeting as he came within their eyesight. "Hey!" He called out when Sakura ignored him, looking in another direction. "You all ready to train hard today?" Naruto screamed his agreement while Sasuke simply nodded. Sakura was jolted out of her thoughts and also said yes. "Well, to bad!" Kakashi said, smile fixed in place and eye curved in happiness.

"What?" The blond said, almost falling over in his shock. "Why aren't we going to practice?" He whined, slumping against the tree since the strain of standing had become too much of a strain on his body. "If I don't practice," He slid towards the ground, "I'm going to get fat, Kakashi-sensei."

The instructor blinked at the words, "When did you become such a girl?" He asked, his confusion shown by his furrowed brow. "I think it's time you started to consider a new occupation. Maybe hairstylist? Or a manicurer?" The jounin grinned at his joking, watching Naruto face turn an amusing shade of red, "I think it could be the new you!"

Glaring, the fox stood up from his nest in the long grass, "At least I won't be a customer there, Kakashi-san." He said coolly, changing from his usual attitude. He then began laughing loudly in the noon sun.

"Naruto." He stopped abruptly to see Sakura looking at him with bored eyes, "You're laughing evilly again."

Naruto smiled sheepishly, "Sorry." He let out another laugh, this time more tame then the insane laughter that had happened only a few moments before. "That better?" He asked, not noting the looks of skepticism from his teammates and teacher.

Kakashi shook his head, "Training will be held off until my mission is over." At the mention of his assignment, an A-mission no less, Sakura's eyes widened to double their size.

"Is he here, Kakashi-sensei?" She asked, looking around frantically for her past teacher. "I don't see him! Ohmygod! He might be hurt!" She shrieked, running off to find the teacher. Kakashi watched her rush off and vowed to himself to find Iruka before she did. Or else, he feared, the chunin might not be too happy with him any more.

Sasuke 'huffed', the first sound he'd made from the time when his teacher had arrived, and stalked off to where the village training grounds were. Naruto followed soon after, challenging the other loudly and swearing he was better than the Uchiha survivor in everything as he jogged up. _'I wish I had different students…'_ Kakashi thought, rolling his eye at their antics before setting off to find his charge.

He strode across the grass plains easily, avoiding the Frisbees that seemed to be attracted to him like a magnet. A few stray kunai went across his path, aimed at an unseen target located high in the trees; he should know, he had practiced many a time with those same targets before he became a jounin.

After checking the playground, sandbox and wide-open areas, Kakashi decided that it was now time to ask people. And who should come strolling down the walkway? None other than Konohagakure's green beast, jounin extraordinaire, sensei that sparkles while he talks: Maito Gai.

The other sensei walked his tortoise, not seeing Kakashi until he was almost on top of him. "Ah! Rival of mine!" He said in his exuberant way, throwing his arms wide and dropping the leash of his pet, which stared at him before wandering away. "Do you dare come and challenge me?" The man asked as he lowered into a stance, flicking his hair back with his hand.

"Um… No?"

"Such a modern answer! I cannot compete!" Gai said, recoiling as if he was hit by the words of his greatest opponent.

Kakashi blinked at the sudden change in attitude, wishing he could live in another village where the ninja were normal before he remembered why he chanced this meeting. "Gai." The ninja looked up at his name, still weeping from the savage defeat from his foe. "I need you to help me find a little boy." In a flash the other jounin was standing and had retrieved his pet from sniffing a fire hydrant.

"I shall defeat you!" The ninja said; striking a pose while, somehow, cherry blossoms floated down around him. "I will find the child first, and you shall have to admit to being beaten!" He turned and was about to run off, only to be halted by Kakashi in front of him.

"You need to know what he looks like." The scarecrow said in his usual deadpan way, "He's three years old." He held up three fingers, Gai needed visual aids. "This tall." He used his hands to measure his knee height, "And he's tan." He added as an afterthought, there weren't that many three year old, knee high, tan children in the village, right?

Gai laughed in his full youthfulness, blinding the other man when his teeth were seen in the sunlight. "Fine. I wil find this short, tan, three year old before you. And then you will have to say I am supreme!" He then skipped off to find Iruka, making Kakashi fear for the child threefold at the fact that, now thanks to him, Gai was looking for him while Sakura was probably already on his trail.

_'Might as well get to work. Save him from what I brought onto him.'_ Kakashi thought, swiveling his head to the left when a shriek of pure joy happened to come from that area. Using his practiced speed, he arrived a moment before Gai to find Iruka up in a tree a finger length out of Sakura's reach. _'This is great, just great.'_ Kakashi thought as the other jounin pushed him away to get nearer to the tree, _'I hate trees.'_

Balancing on the outermost limb, Iruka whimpered when Sakura tried to come out and get him; thus making the branch sway dangerously from the added weight. He glanced down as footsteps alerted him to another presence. "Kakashi-san! Come help me, please!" He yelled, squeaking when Sakura cooed and moved closer, brushing against his nose this time. The child's eyes grew larger when he noticed Gai standing on the branch directly above him, reaching down to grab him.

Kakashi grumbled from the ground, thinking of a way he could get up without killing the trio currently in the tree, when a scream from Sakura made his head jerk up. A blur of white had been pushed from the tree. The culprit? A fluffy tailed squirrel that was currently chewing adorably on an acorn. It looked down at Kakashi adorably before it scurried back into its hole.

Shaking his head from the jolt of his new sitting position in the dirt, the scarecrow glared down at the child. As he was about to tell the child off for his lack of balance, and the fact that he knocked him over also, the jounin noticed that Iruka wasn't even paying attention at him. Instead, the boy was looking over the man's shoulder while his eye pupils dilated to the largest that they could be.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked; trying to turn his head but his headband and mask blocked every view when he twisted. Groaning, he stood with the child in his arms and saw that Lee was standing in back of them; a confused look on his face and holding the leash of his beloved sensei's pet.

Iruka, it seemed, was struggling to make himself smaller at the sight of the genin. "It's only Gai's student." Kakashi said, tapping the child on his head so he would look up and see Gai, who was now on the ground and dusting his vest off with a flick of his hand.

"Clones."

The gray haired man started at the terminology, "What did you say?" He asked, disbelieving the chunin in his arms and the way he was squirming to get away. "You know these guys. They just look alike." Iruka's face scrunched up and he rubbed his head into Kakashi's chest, struggling to hide his face from the green covered beings. "Hey. Gai." He gestured for the man to come over with a jerk of his head.

The scream from the child was so high pitched that Kakashi almost dropped him when his gloved hands moved on autopilot to his ears. Gai, it seemed, was unaffected by the sound and walked over, not even flinching. The teacher smiled when he arrived next to Kakashi, momentarily leaving the other sightless from the brilliant dazzle. "Yes, what is-" Gai saw the pony-tailed child and stopped, for once lost at words.

He suddenly began again, "I am vanquished!"

Iruka shrieked again when Gai stumbled forwards, gripping Kakashi's arms and dragging him down. "Get him away!" He yelled, climbing up onto his caretaker's head and whimpering when the jounin lost his balance and fell down to Gai's level. Kakashi sighed and kicked Gai in the head so Iruka would stop screaming and pulling on his hair.

Believing that he had tormented the child enough today, Kakashi stood up and away from the unconscious jounin splayed on the floor. Nodding to Lee as a farewell, the spandexed boy was sobbing uncontrollably next to his mentor, Kakashi walked away with Iruka still shaking and attached to his head. After he had traveled about a mile away from the other duo, the park was really big, the scarecrow stopped and dropped to the ground near a shadowed alcove where a small lake was occupied currently by a flock of cranes.

Struggling, Kakashi tried to pry the child off his head but to no avail. Kakashi could feel Iruka shiver when he grabbed him around his waist, pulling with all his might. Snatching his hand back, he blew gently on the bite mark the showed a perfect row of teeth and sighed since that meant the child was not going to get off his head. _'Oh well…'_ He thought, leaning against one of the trees and watching the cranes search for food in the water.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out Come Come Paradise, flipping the worn book to his current page. Reading from the sentence where he stopped, Kakashi smiled at an especially juicy part. A small breeze went through his hair that wasn't trapped under Iruka's body, making his eyelid droop from the comfort.

Before he knew it, the ninja was napping in the afternoon sun.

* * *

"Oh! Will you love me forever?" Kakashi watched the scene unfold, eating popcorn in a seat as the actors moved across the stage to each other. The woman was distressed; her lover was leaving her to go fight in the war or something like that. "Please say that you won't go. Stay here with me until it is over?" She sobbed pitifully and latched onto the man's arm.

Iruka smiled sadly, taking the female's hands off his arm and placing his own on her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I really am, Kioko. But you know my duty, I must go." He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and walked off stage, leaving the woman to sob alone in the audience's view.

"He left." She said, looking up to the sky as she dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. "He'll never come back, surely to be lost. We shall never be married…" She trailed off at the fate of her lover.

Suddenly a voice came from the audience, louder than the actress's voice. "He's mine! You can't have him!"

Kakashi swiveled in his seat to see a student standing up, pointing a finger at a girl sitting next to her. "And if you think you can take him away from me," She pulled out some of her kunai to throw at the person sitting, "You are sadly mistaken!"

"Not if I take him first!" The other stood stood, another student from the school, "We were meant to be!" She threw a punch at the other, which was deflected by a hand.

Iruka walked back onto the stage, still in his costume, "Lady's no fighting on school ground. Opening day is in a week and our lead male is still sick." He stopped when two of the three looked at him, fierce jealousy shining in their eyes. "We can speak of this after the play rehearsal is over. Mira?" He gestured to the other woman, using her real name, after sighing, "Just say your lines and we'll be finished for the day."

The other student nodded, saying her last line quickly so she could change and be gone from the charged atmosphere. The chunin turned to see if the students had maybe left, saving him from a strict scolding on their part. Unfortunately they were still there. "Kiki, Umaru. Please come to the front and speak with me." Iruka said, his sensei glare in place when the two girls started to walk forward.

He looked up at Kakashi, eating his popcorn gleefully in the audience seats with the rest of the cast. "Children, you're excused. Kakashi-san," He bowed quickly, "Please leave." The pony tailed man then turned to follow his two amorous students into the back for their stern lecture.

* * *

The scarecrow yawned as he woke, thinking idly of the scolding those girls had gotten from Iruka that day. Checking his watch, it was almost six; he brushed a hand through his hair and halted it on the middle of his head. "I guess Iruka got off while I was dozing." He remarked, wondering if the child remembered his students that wanted him to be more than an instructor to them. "Iruka? Where are you?" He called into the darkness.

He rolled over in the grass, almost killing the boy who was asleep next to him. He smiled underneath his mask at the sight of the chunin sleeping, the child scrunching his nose when a stray piece of grass hit him in the face. "I guess it's time to go." He said, standing with the little Iruka in his arms.

Kakashi paused when he felt a presence nearby, turning to see if the person would come out of the dark and explain themselves. A soft coughing came from the shade and Kakashi knew who it was immediately, the ninja who had over looked the most recent chunin selection exam. "You can come out now, Hayate."

The other ninja walked forward, his eyes strangely alert although he was sick most of the time. He paused in front of the jounin, reaching into his pocket for a tissue. When he didn't answer, instead blowing his nose rather repetitively, Kakashi growled and shifted the still sleeping Iruka in his arms.

The child didn't move so he took this as a sign he could talk out loud without waking him, "What do you want?" He asked, tugging on his mask as he tried to hide his irritation at being called on by another ninja, lower on his scale of respect. Hayate didn't respond, choosing to rub furiously at his nose now while sniffling. "I think I'll leave now." Kakashi said, moving to walk away only to find the "sick" ninja blocking his way.

"Hokage-san wishes to see you." His cloudy pupils watched Kakashi under lowered eyelids, searching for a reaction but receiving non. "I suggest you go. It might be something important if Sandaime-san asked me to find you." He cocked his head, pushing up his headband when it slipped down onto his eyes, probably from a sloppily made knot, "Maybe a change in missions?"

Shocked into silence at the words, the scarecrow could only watch as the other turned, coughing politely into his hankie from the action, before walking away to leave him alone to decide. Only when the ninja had vanished from sight, and sense, did Kakashi begin to move from the spot.

The gray haired man craned his head to look down at Iruka, who was sucking on the elite ninja's gloved thumb, sighed and set off to the hokage's office to see what his new mission might be.

* * *

**Previews:**

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Oh no! Does this mean Kakashi has to give up Iruka for another mission?

Wait… Does that mean that Kurenai succeeded and is now going to take care of the dolphin?

I personally have no idea! Sorry!


	7. New Missions

**Disclaimer**

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I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Yes I know that it is summer. And, yes, I know that people should work faster during the summer. I would have been except for one thing; I was more than halfway across the continent I live on with no computer, running water or air.

I was atop the mountains of Colorado, which is almost two miles above sea level. I have lived at sea level for my entire life. It hurts to breath when there's no oxygen.

Anyway, I finished this and the rest of the chapters should come soon. That is, if I'm not whisked away to another remote location that has no electricity…

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

Kakashi huffed as he sat in the chair _outside_ the Hokage's room. _'You think, since he was the one to call me down, that I would be able in the room to actually see him.'_ He thought, frowning through his mask at the actions of his leader. Glancing down either hallway to his left and right and seeing no one, Kakashi was just about to leave when the door to his side creaked open to admit his entrance.

"You can come in, Kakashi." The hokage said from inside the room, a wisp of smoke floating through the crack to reveal he was not working at the time as Kakashi thought. In fact, it sounded, and smelled, like the hokage was taking time out for the simpler pleasures in life.

The copy ninja was about to push open the door, being careful not to jostle the child in the nook of his arm, when the elder continued his speech, "Leave Iruka. He doesn't need to hear any of this."

Confused, Kakashi sat Iruka down on the chair where he was sitting a moment before, all the while trying to ignore the feeling of regret that had trickled in when the child left his possession. Stepping into the room, minus the chunin, Kakashi walked to the desk of the leader and prepared for the change of mission to something more dangerous. That was usually the only time Sandaime called another ninja into his room, to talk of the preparations, the mission and the risk of death for the said assignment.

The other man looked up, craning his neck to make sure the child was still outside before beginning, a clone of his closing the door then disappearing in a poof of smoke. The hokage sighed, fingering through a folder in his hand, "We need your help on a certain problem." He glanced up, nodding slightly to a chair in front of him which the scarecrow took, "His name is Nanashi."

"Nobody?" Kakashi questioned, using the literal translation of the name, "Is he that important that I have to switch missions?" Kakashi whined, knowing he sounded like a child but not caring, "Can't you send Gai? Or maybe even Kurenai?" He asked, hoping to get that woman out of his hair.

"No. Evidently this man has been destroying towns and the like." The hokage continued deadpanned, non-pursed, of explaining the few details to Kakashi, "All the specifics are in the folder." He leaned back in his chair, chewing on his pipe thoughtfully, "Since you are the only one suitable for this mission, I'm afraid that your other mission will have to be given to another."

Kakashi automatically tensed at the mention of the child, shifting forward in his chair to gain the hokage's attention, "I don't think it's going to be that easy." He glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure Iruka hadn't followed, "He's a little… Difficult." He admitted, scratching at his nose underneath his mask.

The elder chuckled quietly, hands folded over his chest, at the jounin in front of him, "Don't tell me you've bitten off more than you can chew, Kakashi?" He asked, laughing outright, "If memory serves me right, which it often does, weren't you the one in the first place who decided it would be fun to shove something down Iruka's throat?" The man smiled at the expression of shock that dawned on the other's face.

"He couldn't be that bad." Sandaime said while tapping his pipe free of ashes, "Iruka is still only a child. So he should only be acting like one. I'll make sure to assign someone who I know who can handle a child." He sighed, tapping his chin in thought, "Maybe one of his students." He added when Kakashi opened his mouth to explain more carefully. "Or maybe Kuranai? You mentioned her before, and she isn't on a mission…"

As if on cue, a crash and a scream were heard from the other side of the door and both men sprang up to investigate. Being the quicker, and younger, of the two, Kakashi reached the door first and yanked the door open with such force he almost hit the hokage in the face. Striding out into the hallway, he noticed something was missing immediately.

_'Iruka.'_ He thought, swiveling his head to search for the child while the other man surveyed the damage caused. Kakashi moved forward, stepping over the debris that littered the floor, checking under pieces of sheet metal, _'He could be anywhere.'_ He thought, sighing at the prospect of trying to find Iruka in the rubble. A sudden whimper made the jounin snap his head around, his years of training helping him pinpoint the location.

Iruka sniffed as he brushed off a piece of shattered glass, _'Maybe chopping at that big piece of wood was a mistake.'_ He thought, unintentionally hissing when a sliver of the glass dug into his palm. Biting his bottom lip, the child whimpered and stood to only find Kakashi in front of him. "It hurts." He said, glancing up at the older man and holding out his hand to confirm what he just mentioned.

As Kakashi bent down to pick up the boy, he suddenly disappeared into the arms of another. Namely; another jounin who had had their eyes on the chunin in Kakashi's care for a while.

"Hello, Kakashi!" Kurenai said, laughing behind her hand at the expression on the man's face. She frowned when Iruka squirmed, adjusting her hold so he could barely move, "What a coincidence finding you here! And with ickle little Irukakins!" She grinned, snuggling the boy to her chest, "Too bad you've been assigned to that new mission." She batted her eyelashes, trying to seem innocent but failing when she did the most innocent thing.

"Yeah. Too bad." Kakashi responded falsely, standing up and brushed shards of glass off his pants. He glanced up when a squeak came from Iruka, eyes narrowing at Kurenai's cuddling of the chunin. "Can I have Iruka back, now." He demanded, holding out his arms for the child.

She looked up, shocked, but spotted the hokage only a few feet away, stepping carefully over a broke vase, "But I'm assigned to look after him. Right, Hokage-sama?" She lifted her voice at the last part, making Kakashi whip around to send a pleading look at the elder.

Sandaime, not being hokage for nothing, sensed the tension between the two and so he did the first thing that came to mind:

He played senile

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kakashi smirked triumphantly and praised the gods; Kurenai sighed mournfully and pouted. Iruka was in Kakashi's hold now.

"Last thing I remember, Kurenai was watching Iruka." Kakashi's face fell at this new twist; Kurenai snatched back Iruka quickly and crooned over him. The child was confused.

"But that's when his new mission starts." Kakashi stuck his tongue out at the other jounin when he slipped Iruka back into his arms; Kurenai wondered if he was insulting her underneath his mask. Iruka felt a little disoriented.

"Of course, she should get used to him being around." Kakashi promptly dodged when a shoe came flying at him; Kurenai caught the chunin when he fell. Now Iruka was feeling a little queasy from the movement.

"Kakashi is going to be taking care of him after he finishes his new assignment, though." Kakashi pumped a fist in the air at his victory; Kurenai seethed and ground her teeth. Iruka felt he was going to be sick.

"Then again. Kurenai is a woman and more motherly than you, Kakashi." Kakashi let out a sad whimper at the news; Kurenai started dancing and humming a lively tune. Iruka **_knew_** he was going to be sick.

The red-eyed jounin didn't know what hit her. One minute, crowing at her triumph over the copy ninja Kakashi. The next, covered in some sort of vomit. She wilted before the eyes of Kakashi and Sandaime. "Here." She thrust the small child over to the grinning scarecrow, Iruka smiling and swinging his feet. Kurenai walked away, hair plastered flat to her head and her right foot making a squishing noise every time it moved.

Kakashi grinned, not caring that Iruka smelled like rancid puke at the moment, and hugged the boy close. "Do you feel better now?" He asked, a gurgle from the child his only response before Iruka cuddled into his jacket. When the hokage, who had suddenly regained his normal brain, cleared his throat, Kakashi turned to see the old man almost stepping back into his room.

"Your mission is in a day." He popped his pipe into his mouth, "Use that time to prepare for it. And since Iruka hasn't grown yet, you will continue to take care of him. Unless he regains his regular body in the time you are gone."

The scarecrow nodded as he turned, already walking down the hallway and to his house. "Oh, and Kakashi?" The man about faced, the hokage was still out of his room and was glancing around at the damage done to his office as if for the first time. "Tell Shirley that I'm going to need some builders in the morning." He said knowingly, closing the door with the faint click.

* * *

"So… How did you have carrots in there?"

Iruka grumbled at the start of the conversation, pushing open the door to Kakashi's house. He stopped at the first step and sat down to pull off his sandals, grimacing when sand fell out and formed a small mound. Tapping his shoes against the wood, to get the rest of the earth out, Iruka pouted when Kakashi sat down next to him. "Go away."

Kakashi sighed, rolled his eyes, and took off his own sandals. Ignoring the exaggerated sighs from the youngster sitting next to him, the ninja continued to remove his leg wraps in the normal fashion. Placing both in their customary spots, and shrugging his vest onto its hook, Kakashi walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. Otherwise know to many of the older ninja, "the beverage of the gods."

The child padded slowly after Kakashi, grimacing at the taste still fresh in his mouth. He was angry with the other man for throwing him around, too much of that had been done to him in the last three days, but he wanted to brush his teeth. So he did the next best thing to not talking.

The scarecrow whipped around when a thud was heard, finding Iruka sitting on the floor and looking up at him with **_the eyes_**. As he was about to ask what was wrong the child started to cry. And cry. And cry. "What do you want?" He asked, placing his moo-moo cup back on the counter to pick up the boy. "If you stop crying I'll give you some coffee." Bribery was usually the way into a child's heart.

It didn't work. Therefore Kakashi, being the resourceful ninja that he was, used Iruka's sadness for his own use.

"Hello Mr. Ukki-chan!" He held the child over his plant, smiling when he successfully watered his plan back to new life. "You look good today." Kakashi set Iruka on the couch, turning to continue talking to his life companion. This shocked Iruka; instead of getting what he wanted he was being ignored because of a stupid plant.

"I know I didn't talk to you or anything in the last few days," Kakashi bowed apologetically at his fern, "but I've been busy with my new mission." The plant didn't move and the copy ninja took that as an 'all is well, I forgive you Kakashi-san.' "I love you Ukki-chan!" He picked up the plant and hugged it quickly before placing it back down on its special stool.

Suddenly the plant shifted a leaf, warning Kakashi of the oncoming danger. He turned just in time to see Iruka jumping on him. "You're ignoring me!" Iruka cried, rubbing his face into Kakashi's shirt.

"Maybe." Kakashi said, smiling down at the child in his arms, "But now I think it's time for you to brush your teeth or something because you reek." When a growl vibrated through his chest, Kakashi patted the dolphin's head playfully. "You're lucky that I bought some of those type of things from the store."

He then walked down the hallway to his bathroom, opening the door and switching on the light. Iruka, finally getting what he wanted, hopped out of his caretaker's arms and darted over to the sink. "You're going to need help." Kakashi said, leaning against the doorway to watch the child struggle with the taller sink.

"Nope." Iruka said as he pushed an assortment of things from the bathroom near the sink to form a type of tower, which he climbed on. "I'm doing fine." The chunin grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed at his teeth, a strained smile allowing him to cover every inch inside with the pasty white stuff.

"Whatever." Kakashi said, moving into his own room and floofing a pillow. Taking off his shirt, the ninja undressed and slid into his bed and sighed happily. After that he cursed and got up again, walking back into the kitchen to turn off his coffee maker. Pouring the liquid out, he put his cow mug back into the cabinet and left the pot in the sink to wait for cleaning until tomorrow.

The pitter-patter of small feet alerted Kakashi that Iruka was on the move yet again. Trusting him to not leave the house, the ninja yawned and strolled back to his room for some much needed sleep. The day was taking its toll on the man and he just wanted to sleep.

He collapsed onto his bed, sighed loudly into the bunched up blanket near his head. His hitai-ate headband was on the dresser when he opened his eyes. It was because he noticed that it was warm, too warm for someone wearing only boxers, and glanced down to find Iruka snuggling against his stomach.

Not trying to figure out how the child got there, without him noticing no less, Kakashi poked him in the head. "Don't you have Haiku to do that to?" He asked, amusement slowly leaking into his voice. A muffled response was heard from Iruka before he burrowed deeper into the man's front. "I think you should get your horse."

Iruka looked up, his eyes almost closed, "Haiku and me are fighting." He yawned, covering it with a hand he pulled from underneath his head, "He thought that I tried to kill him last night when I rolled over on him."

Kakashi rolled his eyes upwards, "Then why don't you go sleep somewhere else? You don't need to sleep with me." He paused, mentally cringing at the wrongness of his choice of words; "You're a big boy now."

When the child didn't answer he shifted his weight to see if Iruka was asleep only to find the child, with his forehead furrowed, thinking hard. Kakashi tilted his head down to see what was wrong when the boy looked up, smiling widely before snuggling closer to the much larger ninja. "You make the monsters go away." Iruka whispered, continuing to smile even though his eyes were closed.

Opening his mouth to answer, Kakashi stopped. The chunin was already asleep, nestled beside his stomach. Sighing to himself, the copy ninja relaxed against the covers and allowed his own eyelids to flutter downwards.

* * *

Iruka sighed as he awoke the next day, recharged and alert of the world around him. About to jump from the bed and stretch, an arm came crashing down to land across his waist. Trying not to yell from the sudden movement, the dolphin glanced to see who exactly was blocking him from moving.

A snore, really heavy breathing, blew from Kakashi's mouth, causing Iruka to stifle a giggle that threatened to erupt. Deciding that it was time for waking, and it being a little uncomfortable with the arm right under his ribs, the chunin prepared to stand up and get something to eat. He didn't feel like stretching any more in his current predicament.

"Hungry." He whimpered, yelping at what Kakashi did next.

Still asleep, the body of the copy ninja worked on its own, pulling the heat source closer to its body. Iruka struggled against the arms of steel, looking for another way out but couldn't find one so he just relaxed and allowed himself to be dragged against the older man.

An hour had passed and Iruka was still working on his plan to escape from the clutches of the evil, evil, Kakashi-san. Deciding that it was time for extreme measures, Iruka did the first thing that came to mind when the arm swung over and onto him. Opening his mouth, and silently asking the gods for their protection, he bit down onto the cupped hand that was near his mouth.

Eyes snapping open at the sudden pain, Kakashi sprung out of bed to defend himself from the enemy only to find a smiling Iruka waving at him from underneath the covers. "Why'd you do that?" He asked, grinding his teeth underneath his mask at the actions of the child.

Iruka frowned, pushing the covers off and standing on the bed to become chest height with the other ninja, "You were using me as a stuffed toy!" He yelled, pointing at the man accusingly.

When Kakashi was about to respond Iruka pounced on him, landing in his arms and nuzzling up against his bare chest. "I'm hungry. What do we have to eat?" The copy ninja balked at the 'we' part, silently wondering if children always had mood swings in the morning, as he walked into the kitchen with the youngster in his grip.

Setting him down on the table, Kakashi opened the fridge to find the case of strawberries that he had bought yesterday. Hefting it out, the child's eyes widened and he jumped up and down on the wood table.

"I love strawberries!" He cried, latching onto the box before it was even set down. "Can we have some, Kakashi-san? Please? I promise to be good if we have some strawberries!" He pouted when the man paused to consider the question, thinking that meant no and he would have none of the red fruit.

"You say you'll be good?" Iruka nodded, "I going to be leaving tomorrow morning and you're going to have to stay with Kurenai after I leave." The child gasped and began to shake his head, making little whimpering noises at mention of the other jounin. "And knowing her she'll probably invite over Sakura to help."

Iruka's silence made Kakashi look up from his premonitions of doom for the child the next day to find the boy already shoving the produce into his mouth, no long paying attention to the horrible things the man was saying. Grinding his teeth in frustration, Kakashi picked the small child by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him so that he was eyelevel with his mismatched eyes.

"You're ignoring me?" He asked the child, who was looking even more adorable with his face stuffed with strawberries and eyes growing wider by the second. "Well? Are you?" The child shook his head, stopped, and then nodded his head while trying to grin with a full mouth.

Iruka smiled shyly, allowing his mouth to open partially and let Kakashi see a portion of the red fruit before it hit him on the side of his cloth covered cheek.

The man's mind registered the slimy object sliding down and the only thing he could do to retaliate was to glare at the child who was now innocently chewing the rest of his ammo. "I hate you." He said, wondering how the morning's peace could change to hell so quickly.

The boy, instead of feeling offended or, even worse, guilty, lifted his arms and slid from his pajama top to land on the floor. While Kakashi stared stupidly at the empty shirt he was still holding, Iruka ran off, back into the bedroom with some sort of destruction in mind.

His reflexes finally reacting, resulting in the strawberry traveling further down his bare chest, the jounin spun around to chase after the child. Skidding to a stop at the doorway, he narrowly avoided a kunai that imbedded itself in the wall. Kakashi blinked at the weapon, which was now perpendicular to the wall, before turning to look in his room for the culprit.

Humming idly to himself, Iruka continued to root through the huge trunk he had seen when he woke up and promised to explore after he had eaten.

Who knew Kakashi-san had such cool stuff in here?

Picking up another weapon he threw it over his shoulder, expecting to hear the sound of metal hitting hard wood but being disappointed by a different sound. A little bit quieter, a muted grunt came from behind and Iruka knew that no wall was behind him.

The youngster turned and was greeted with a most unusual sight. His caretaker was standing in the doorway, most likely frowning underneath his mask, holding the shuriken in his grip, in his snail printed boxer shorts, glaring at him, while a trail of red led itself from the man's cheek to approximately his navel. The strawberry fell to the ground with a soft "plop" and that seemed to be the signal for the dam to break.

Screaming when Kakashi suddenly lunged for him, Iruka did the first thing that came into his three year old head. That thing was to hide; he could never hope to beat a full-grown jounin in a fair fight. So he scampered under the bed to bide him some time until he could form a plan of retaliation.

Kakashi frowned when he noticed his prey had escaped, punching his pillow as if it was the cushions fault. Deciding that this was a good outlet for his anger, he punched it again. Only this time a squeak accompanied the punch.

Confused when he looked under and found no dog toy, and thinking his linens were possessed, the great copy ninja jumped onto his bed, as if a mouse or other small rodent was attacking him. All the while, simultaneously throwing the pillow to the floor. Then he reverted back to his one true skill. Taunting.

"You thought you were all that, didn't you? But I put you back in your place, oh yes I did! I snap at you in Z-formation!" And performing the said action, Kakashi destroyed the simple pillow's already low self-esteem.

Since this was one of his greater taunts, it was required for the man to stand up on the bed and point down at the lower, stuffed, being in scorn.

Iruka, who was still under the bed, was being crushed by the jounin's weight. Deciding that the time was right for being found, the child opened his mouth to scream only for the mattress to fall harder on his small frame. This led for a strangled yell to come from his mouth.

Kakashi stopped his jumping on the bed; it was one of his favorite pastimes after all, when a sound reached his highly tuned ears. _'It could be Timmy caught in a well…'_ He thought, frowned and shook his head. "Maybe it was a duck?" The elite jounin questioned the air, leaving space open for it to respond if it wanted to.

"Or maybe it was me." Iruka said, crawling out from underneath the bed. "When was the last time you looked under there?" He asked, brushing off huge dust bunnies that were bigger then some small animals.

Instead of getting attacked, like Iruka thought was going to happen, he received a dull, blank stare from the gray haired man. "There's stuff under there?" The older ninja asked, falling onto his stomach to glance under his bed with the curiosity of a squirrel.

Iruka groaned at Kakashi's actions and looked up at the clock, grimacing at what he saw and wondering when he was going to be saved from this torture.

It was only 7:43 and he had the rest of the day to look forward to.

To be continued...

* * *

**Previews:**

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Well, you all know that little Iruka is going to be left with Kurenai when Kakashi leaves for his mission.

Iruka is going to learn a little more about his past, maybe… If I feel like it.

And Kurenai shall join forces with Sakura, thus dooming the small chunin we have come to love.


	8. Stolen Kisses

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* * *

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Disclaimer

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Me no own… I hate you all.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Ah, summer. The time when everything is supposed to go faster. Where writing should go faster and fulfill what the reader's want.

Except for the fact that my mother thinks I should fill everyday with some sort of activity.

Sunday: Only day for writing

Monday: Tennis practice

Tuesday: Tennis practice

Wednesday: Tennis practice

Thursday: Tennis practice

Friday: Oboe and piano lessons

Saturday: Horseback riding

I'm done. Go read.

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

Sakura sighed mournfully, this had to be the fourth day that her past teacher was changed into a little kawaii child and she had only seen him a couple of times. The pink haired girl huffed at this, crossing her arms in front of her bowl of cereal, wondering what she had to do to find out where her teacher was. Maybe she could ask Kurenai-san, she would probably know where Iruka-sensei was. Her eyes narrowed at this, which meant she would have to share the child.

"Sakura, eat your cereal and stop glaring at it. It won't change the type. Though I am sorry, honey, that they didn't have the kind you liked."

The ninja in training glanced up at her mother, who rolled her eyes and went back to making eggs for her father, before picking up her spoon and slapping it into the bowl. "Don't take that tone with your mother." Her father said, looking over his newspaper at his daughter. He smiled at his wife when she placed his pate in front of him on the table, kissing her gently on the cheek as she left.

"I wasn't doing that." Sakura huffed, shoving a spoonful of the soggy cereal into her mouth. "I was just thinking about this little kid I saw and how cute he was."

In a flash her mother was ducked down next to her, hands clenched to the table, and smiling hugely. "Does this mean my little Sakurawura wants to have a baby? I do want a grandchild soon, so that all the other moms can't brag about their own bouncing balls of happiness." She smiled again, pinching her child's cheek, her eyes gleaming in the light of any mother at the mention of grandchildren and the pitter-patter of little feet on the way.

Sakura, frightened at this sudden change in her mother, stared at her father across the table for help. "She's your mother." He said, continuing to read about how a man was in critical condition from getting squashed by a soda machine. "Do you have training today?" Her father asked, flipping to a different page. Idle conversation was always a good thing to help develop bonds within the family, or something like that.

"Um… No, Kakashi-sensei cancelled it for the week because he has a new mission." She responded, relaxing when he mother noticed that the toast was burning and scurried off to save the bread from death by incineration, thus leaving her to eat more of her cornflakes in peace from interrogation.

"Oh yes, I heard about that!" Mrs. Haruno commented, shrugging her shoulders at her daughter as she flipped a pancake in the skillet, "Kakashi-san having to take care of little Iruka!" She laughed, not noticing the glare from her child she was receiving, "Too bad he has to leave for the other mission." or the change from anger to curiousness on her child's face at this phrase.

Smiling to herself, Sakura pulled in next to the table so her father could exit and directed her huge grin to her mother. "What 'mission' do you mean, oh-great-mother-of-mine-who-gave-birth-to-me-herself?" She asked innocently, wishing against fate that her parent would not ask what was in her eye, since both were gleaming at the mere mention of a chance for Iruka to be hers for a few days. Inner Sakura was kneeling at a small shrine and praying for the help of the gods.

Luckily her mother didn't notice any of this, having run out of the house to give Mr. Haruno his lunch that he forgot yet again on the counter; the lazy man.

Stepping back into the house while brushing back a strand of her pale pink hair, the mother paused when she felt a chill in the air. It was one of those skills that only the maternal would ever know, the ability to feel a storm looming before it exploded on the lands. Sure the storm was usually your own child, and the lands the village, but that wasn't important.

"What were you saying, Sakura? I was a bit distracted by your father." She turned and waved at the man outside, smiling and blowing a kiss.

"I just wanted to know what mission Kakashi-sensei is going to be going on." The girl asked, all thoughts of eating her breakfast out of her head. Only what would happen to the chibi bioshen while Kakashi was gone was on her mind.

Her mother stopped, thinking hard about how to answer the question without giving too much away to her daughter. Her finger still pressed to her chin, from wondering, she responded carefully. "Nothing big." A frown at the mention of those two words. "He'll only be gone a couple of days, honey! You don't need to be anxious." She nodded, happy at the way she explained.

"But what's going to happen to Iruka-san during that time?" Sakura asked, looking at her mother with what she hoped were sorrowful, concerned eyes.

"The hokage talked to me about it and said that maybe one of Iruka's students was going to take care of him, at least until Kakashi comes back. Why do you want to know?"

Instead of answering, like a good daughter should, Sakura stood up and dumped her half full bowl into the sink and hugged her mom. "I have to go, see you later!" She waved at the both as the door closed, lowering her hand to rub it against the other diabolically. "Now, time to find Iruka-sensei."

* * *

This alleged teacher was currently sitting on the bed and glaring at Kakashi, who was trying to figure out what had happened last night between the child and his stuffed horse. Also why the child decided to use him in place of the four-legged plush.

"Why does Haiku think you tried to kill him?" He asked, flopping down onto the mattress next to the chunin. He couldn't beat the child, so it was easier to join him and his way of thinking.

Iruka sighed and turned to look at the floor, finding one of the dust bunnies he pulled out very interesting. When Kakashi nudged him in the ribs, besides it being very uncomfortable, it also made the child talk. "He thinks I want to kill him because I accidentally," He frowned, twirling a piece of his hair, before continuing at a whisper, "tried to smother him when we went to sleep…"

Ignoring that for the moment, though it did send a chill down his spine at a child speaking so freely at killing an animal, even if it was stuffed and imaginary. The ninja yawned and flopped backwards, bouncing slightly on the mattress and pulling the boy onto his chest so he could look at the smaller male as he was talking. "When I leave for my mission, you won't have anyone to talk to; with you being angry at Haiku and all."

The chunin nodded, resting his head against Kakashi's chest and relaxing in the patch of sun they were laying in.

"Now, you can either make up with Haiku or you're going to have to find a new friend." He said, craning his head to look at Iruka before allowing it to fall against the bed, "Something tells me you don't want to make up with Haiku." He declared to the ceiling, wondering if it was time to get up and go into the village yet. "So it's my job to find you someone else."

Iruka smiled, pushing a strand of hair from his face as he curled into a smaller ball. "Yup, but this new person has to listen to me! He can't be like Haiku and argue with me all the time." He grumbled into Kakashi's chest, snorting out his nose at the white horse that was currently in the living room, buried in Mr. Ukki's plant soil. The child smiled even wider at that thought.

Pondering the requirements he had to follow, Kakashi knew nothing that could fill all of them and make Iruka happy at the same time.

Standing up, with the child still latched onto him, the copy ninja walked out of his room. "Now, you'll like this new friend even if he isn't as cool as Haiku?" He asked, moving down the hallway and into the living room, where he plopped down onto the couch and looked around to find the new companion of the boy. "Here." He grabbed a cushion next to him, "His name is Spot. He'll be your new friend."

Instead of the reaction he hoped for, an angry kid was fun to mess with; all he got for he carefully planed mischief was Iruka crawling off his stomach to cuddle the square pillow to his chest. "Thank you, Kakashi-san." The child said, standing up to hug the older ninja around the next, the cushion forgotten for the moment near his feet.

Now used to the outward affection of the boy, Kakashi just leaned in. That was until he felt something pressed against his cheek. It was warm and a little wet, thus leading him to believe he was being kissed by the younger chunin. But he couldn't investigate that, Iruka was already in the other room, to get ready for the daytime, and he had lost his chance to ask the child what it meant.

_'It meant nothing.'_ He thought, hand coming up to rest on the still slightly damp cloth, which covered his cheek, _'He's just a small child who sees me as a guardian. Little kids always show affection to their parents this way… Yeah that's right.'_ The ninja thought unsurely, getting up to go into his bedroom and to change for the day. _'When he changes back, none of this will mean anything.'_

He pushed down the feeling of dread that surfaced in his gut, blaming it on the indigestion of eating that weird stuff he found in his kitchen a few night's before. Whether of not he liked it, the elite jounin was becoming attached to the child, even though he tried hard not to, and would miss Iruka when he left.

You always feel a certain fondness to the person who steals your first kiss.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" The kiss stealer asked, perched on top of Kakashi's head and flattening his bushy hair. "You said we were going to go somewhere really, really, **really** cool and I think that you're lying." Iruka said, lowering his head.

It would be something strange to see, the great copy ninja Hatake Kakashi giving a piggyback ride to a child. Especially if whenever a ninja looked at him straight in the face, they would also see the pair of small legs wrapped loosely around his neck. They would probably snicker behind their hand, too, if they knew who the child was, but it was a secret, so naturally the entire village knew about it and the conditions of the child curse.

Gritting his teeth, Kakashi shook his head to jostle the small child, "We're almost there. Stop asking that question every three seconds." He muttered, weaving through the crowd and approaching the place of interest.

Iruka sighed mournfully, glancing around at the people surrounding them and spotting something that chilled him to the bone. A head of pink was moving along in the ocean of bodies and at the mere thought of Sakura sent the child on edge. So he looked in the other direction, if he didn't see her then she wasn't there. But as he turned to look somewhere else, a body moving stealthily towards him and Kakashi made him do a double take.

"Um… Kakashi-san?"

"We aren't there yet so don't ask." Kakashi replied, unaware of the danger he was in. He continued at the leisurely pace he had set, fingers itching to take out Come Come Paradise.

"Can you go a little bit faster? The monster is near us and the crazy lady is trying to sneak up on you, from the side. I don't know why..."

The copy ninja faltered in his step, confusing a couple that were following, when he tried to understand what the child's phrase meant before it dawned on him. "So Kurenai is trying to steal you from me again, and Sakura's prowling the market looking for Sasuke." A motion from atop his head told him that Iruka shook his head, "Or searching for you."

Movement halted. The predators had spotted each other and were closing in on their prey even faster, not choosing to team up instead trying to outrun the other.

The tension made the hairs on the back of Kakashi's neck stand up, forcing him to jog to the establishment of truth. The place where childhood dreams were made and broken. Where children spent every cent of money they owned and still came back for more.

The Konohagakure Arcade.

Stepping inside the sliding doors, the ninja quickly dodged behind a change machine just as Sakura and Kurenai pushed through.

"I saw him first so he's mine!" The girl yelled, glaring at the taller woman and frowning when she didn't respond. "And I'm going to take care of him when Kakashi-sensei leaves for his mission." She got the results she wanted.

Kurenai's eyes narrowed dangerously, her red orbs seeming to glow dangerously, "Is that so, little girl? Well I have information from the hokage that proves you wrong." They glared at each other for a moment, lost in their hatred for the other that they didn't notice the crowd who had stopped to stare at them.

Shoved behind the coin machine, arcades weren't known for their cleanliness, Iruka gasped quietly when a piece of dust shifted to land on his nose. Before Kakashi could turn and help, he was checking to make sure either female couldn't see them and his huge poof of hair, the child had sneezed.

Both predators turned, silently challenging the person who sneezed to come out into the open since they thought the person was one from the crowd. When no one stepped forward Kurenai crossed her arms in irritation, "I want to know who sneezed right now, or else all heads will roll." She commanded the people, the silence being broken by the sounds of the loud games surrounding her.

And so Iruka, his conscience screaming to be a good child and fess up, squirmed from the arms of his protector and walked out into the jaws of the lion.

"Oh, little Iruka-cun!" The red-eyed jounin squealed, ducking down to grab the child to her chest and properly smother him. "What are you doing here?" As if she didn't know, "I was wondering what you were doing with the old goat Kakashi."

Then the said goat pushed out from the machine, his stature towering over Kurenai even though a few inches separated their heights. "I believe you found my charge." He growled, glaring at the woman who was still cuddling the child. "And I would like him back. Now."

"Nope. You don't get Iruka-cun so easily, you have to fight to get him back." She smiled wickedly as she said this, watching the other ninja boil at the words.

Sakura's gaze went from teacher to teacher, judging how mad they were, before she spoke up. "I want to take care of Iruka-sensei." She said, flinching when Kurenai whipped around to frown at the girl, "And I am prepared to take you on, Yuhi-san."

Smiling while setting the child down, which ran over to Kakashi and grabbed his leg, Kurenai sauntered over to the pink haired student, "And what makes you think you can take on a jounin, huh? Your great talent? Being top of your class in weapon skill?" She commenced her evil smirk but stopped when Sakura didn't wither under her glare.

"I challenge you to Dance Dance Ninja." She declared, pointing at the jounin and laughing evilly. Kurenai raised an eyebrow and wondered if all of Kakashi's students were insane.

The crowd gasped, some screaming in fright and falling to the ground to twitch in pain, while others began to gossip to each other about who would lose and the rules. As this hysteria went on, Kakashi slowly made his way to the door, not wanting to get into this catfight and only wishing to get out in one piece.

All his hopes were dashed when an exceptionally large woman who was big boned, she wasn't fat, toppled in front of him to properly seal the doors with her bulk. That wasn't fat.

Iruka sighed mournfully, getting a better hold on Kakashi's jacket so the scary lady wouldn't take him again. "Maybe there's a back door." He said, moving slightly to glance over the jounin's shoulder. His eyes widened with the sight, "I think Kakashi-san should run now…"

Never the one to listen to advice, and not having the brains to fear anything, the ninja turned to meet his fate. Which was in the form of Sakura with a headset.

"You have to play too, to complete the team of three." She said cheerfully, catching the man's free hand when he turned to run. "You do know how to play Dance Dance Ninja?" She asked over her shoulder, pushing past the people so she could move deeper into the arcade. "It has to be the greatest game in the world!" The girl yelled, pulling along Kakashi until they arrived at a raised platform.

Kurenai was already waiting, tapping her foot to the music that was pounding out of the tall speakers. She turned as they tromped up the steps, a grin coming to settle on her features, "We've already come to an agreement, if you shall.

"Whoever gets the most points will take care of Iruka, even after Kakashi returns." He smile widened, "If by some chance Kakashi wins, then the next person will take care of Iruka during the period that Kakashi is gone. Though I highly doubt a man is going to win this game." She gestured to the huge screen, which showed that the game required dancing, nothing more and nothing less.

Sakura nodded, "Also, the team has to win the game for this to take place. And you can't just lose, Yuhi-san, Kakashi-sensei, thinking that will make it go back to the way it was." She said, crossing her arms and scowling at Kakashi, who was holding Iruka to his chest, "That would be forfeit of Iruka-sensei and all privileges."

_'I hate women.'_ The ninja thought, looking at the game and figuring out that you had to follow the arrows as the main goal, _'And little girls…'_ He added as an afterthought, placing Iruka and the ground. "Stay away from the edges." He instructed, pointing to the crowd to make a point; they couldn't get out either because of the not-fat woman's vastness. "If you fall you could get hurt."

Iruka nodded, moving from the frame's end to get closer to the huge flat panels on the ground. "You are going to win, right?" He asked, pressing one of the arrows on the floor, his voice was tinged with uncertainty.

"Of course. I can't let them win, can I? You're on the line." He smiled under his mask, chucking the small child underneath the chin before stepping onto his square.

A simple movie began on the huge screen, the game feeling the weight of three people and automatically starting, explaining how to play and the jumping from arrow to arrow as you "danced" to the music. Then the game started, the music trickling from the speakers and making sense to the arrows on the television.

Sakura smiled and nodded to the jounin's on either side of her, "We'll do a practice run, so you get used to it." She slipped a few coins into the machine, stepping back and focusing her gaze on the screen. A simple tune began, again showing how to play followed by the disclaimers that screamed 'don't sue! It's your own fault if you stare at bright lights and go into seizures! Not ours!'

Kurenai nodded, turning to Iruka and blowing a kiss before squaring off on her own square panel. The jounin was sure of her victory, she played Dance Dance Ninja tons of times when she was little and games didn't change that much from when she was young. Could they?

He hated his life. It's as if the moment he shoved the potion down Iruka's throat the gods had pitted themselves against him. Sure it was fun the first few days, the kid was the cutest thing you ever laid your eyes on, but the copy ninja just couldn't help feeling like he was being played every time the child hugged him. Kakashi groaned as he practiced, his mind going blank and just following the arrows.

The boy who started this entire competition yawned and waved at the crowd who were milling about the stage; it was free entertainment and the snack stand was only a few feet away for their convenience. Iruka sat down on the platform and stared up at the screen, it was like watching television. Only he had to tilt his head back really far, which made him dizzy, and try not to fall off the stage, because Kakashi-san told him not too. All in all, he was a pretty happy three-year old.

"At least it can't get any worse…" Kakashi muttered, missing another arrow as it floated past. He had no sense of rhythm so the enemies were currently beating the team's score. The gods laughed at his foolishness and made it ten times worse.

"Hi, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto chirped, running towards the stage and pushing people out of the way so he could get closer. Sasuke followed behind more slowly, the crowd parting because he was sending them all death glares. "What are you doing playing this game?" He asked, leaning on the platform and looking up.

Iruka crawled over to him, still choosing his favorite students over others, "He's fighting the monster and crazy lady so they leave me alone." He said proudly, nodding his head and crossing his arms.

Naruto laughed and took the little boy onto his shoulders, mirroring what his teacher was doing only fifteen minutes ago.

Kakashi sighed and missed even more arrows. When the first game ended he was in last place, which Sakura crowed about and flaunted that she was going to win and take care of Iruka-sensei. She then shoved a couple more quarters in before cursing lightly, ladylike, "I have only twenty bucks. I'm going to go get some change." The pink haired girl then skipped off the stage and left the two jounin's alone.

" I know I can beat you, Kakashi-san." Kurenai said, smiling innocently and gesturing to the screen. "I'm ahead of you by five million points."

Kakashi, instead of stooping to her level, slid the few quarters they needed and the fanfare lassoed Sakura back onto her pad. _'Well, I know that it can't get any worse than this…'_ He thought, squaring his jaw and turning to the monitor, ready to take on whatever came his way and beat it to the ground. That is, until he saw whom his character was.

The pigtailed blond winked at the crowd before performing a split and doing a panty shot, wearing a short schoolgirl outfit.

"I'm doomed."

To be continued...

* * *

**Previews:**

****

I am so evil, giving Kakashi that type of character to dance as.

The results of the dancing will be in the next chapter.

OH NO!! Iruka kissing Kakashi?! Why, why isn't the dolphin older? Why?!


	9. Confusion

**Disclaimer**

****

I do not own Naruto. If you sue me, you will not get a lot of money. And to sue me you must be Masashi Kishimoto.

In that case. I got the creator of Naruto reading my fanfic! W00t!

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Wow, I've been lazy these past few weeks. Instead of working hard, like I was supposed to, I was doing sports and other stuff like that… Drawing a few pictures, getting on some other sites. Like Gaiaonline, great site, except I can't get a lot of gold.

…

I'm getting off topic, aren't I?

…

Well something tells me that this story is going to be going off my original plan, which was originally going to be Gai taking Iruka and no dancing whatsoever. Oh yeah, you people are going to kill me when you see who wins.

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

It was not going good for Kakashi.

At this rate he was going to lose Iruka and be humiliated by the opposing enemies, which were ninja monkeys. And to make matters worse, his character, the schoolgirl slut, kept doing a panty shot whenever he hit an arrow. Thus making him even more resistant to playing superior like he did with everything else.

"Come on, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled between songs, before the last and final tune. The monkeys were in second place, thanks to Sakura's gaming skills and Kurenai's pure luck at hitting arrows. "Beat them to the ground!" He screamed again, Iruka laughing as he tried to stay on.

"Well, it's all or nothing now." Sakura said, stepping off to the side to take a sip of her soda. "The next song I'm picking is going to be really fast and it'll lower your points whenever you miss an arrow." She batted her eyelashes at her teacher, "You've been holding onto each song by the skin of your teeth, and if you get defeated by the ninja monkey's..." The genin let the threat float in the air while she shrugged her shoulders.

The jounin sighed and turned to the screen to find something that might actually help him the next song. His character, so ashamed at his losing, was now wearing a winter coat including a muffler and was walking off the screen. This was to the disappointment of many of the males in the crowd.

Tugs on his pant leg made him look down, finding Iruka staring up at him. "Can I tell you something?" He whispered, glancing over at the two women and shivering. Kakashi nodded and picked up the child so he could talk into his ear. "I know what you need to do to win." Iruka said, smiling happily.

Instead of answering, he inclined his head and bumped it against the child's.

Iruka giggled and rubbed his head into Kakashi's shoulder, peeking out from the corner of his eye, "You can't look at the arrows. You have to stare at the screen and notice where the arrows are going and time it right." A puzzled look spread across the boy's face, his face scrunching up when he confused himself from his explanation. "Just win!" He said out loud, tapping his hand on the jounin's cheek and jumping from his arms to escape back to Naruto, in case one of the female's tried to grab him.

_'And I'm reduced to taking help from a three year old…'_ Kakashi thought, pulling his hands down his face and moving back to his floor panels. _'Maybe if Kurenai becomes unconscious… And Sakura chokes from food poisoning…'_ He stopped that train of thought with a shake of his head, mentally wondering when he wanted his student and friend to die. _'Oh yeah, when Iruka arrived.'_

But before he could continue, the next song began.

Unlike the last songs, which were slower and had pauses in between the notes so you could situate your body, this song was a constant stream and the monkey's were doing a lot better than the ninja's. Kakashi, following the instructions given to him, looked intently at the screen and only moved his eyes when an arrow was near the top and found himself actually getting a few of them.

Sakura tripped over he feet, landing hard on the plastic floor and wincing when he teeth snapped shut. Since she had missed the beat, she could never get back into the groove. She glared at Kakashi, wondering how he was beating her at the game she had picked. "Kurenai! Beat him!" She screamed, hands balling into fists and banging them against the floor in anger.

The yell threw her off, making her step up instead of down and mess up her combo of seventy-eight, "Shut up, girl!" She screamed; trying fruitlessly to catch up to the quickening beat.

After that, there was only one. Who didn't know how to dance and was currently fighting to take care of a child. They were screwed.

He didn't notice that killer ninja monkeys were eating the other characters. No, he didn't even blink when his own schoolgirl jumped into the fray while shedding her snowsuit and transforming into a Sailor Moon like costume. His eyes were glued to the screen and the arrows that continued with their computer-generated tracks upwards.

At the end of the song Kakashi blinked in confusion when he turned to find Sakura and Kurenai standing in back of him. Swiveling back to the screen, which was tallying up the points, the jounin watched the three characters, all of which only his was scantily clad, battling in a giant fight cloud.

"I know I won!" Sakura screamed, grabbing Iruka off of Naruto and squeezing him close to her front, "You're going to like it at my house." The genin continued with her ranting, not observing her person going flying off the screen with a fork imbedded in her head. "My mom always wanted a grandson, and you can pretend you're my son. I'll dress you up and you'll be ever so pretty."

Iruka, for reasons unknown, didn't seem to like what was going to happen, so he struggled, bit and scratched at Sakura's arms until she let go and he could run away back to Kakashi. "Did you win?" He asked, eyes darting back to the fuming Sakura. "I don't want to stay with the monster."

The final scores came onto the screen, with Kakashi in third place. Losing by over a million points. "I guess that's that." He said, picking up Iruka and giving him a little squeeze.

The child whimpered and shivered when Kurenai came over to claim her prize, a greedy look in her eyes.

A sudden trumpeting from the game made everyone turn from leaving, it even awoke the woman who was blocking the doors. Kakashi's character jumped onto the screen and twirled in place, somehow telling the hoard that something important had happened. She did a quick panty flash, as was customary, before talking in a high pitched voice that most would have matched to her pigtailed demeanor.

"Player number one did exceptionally well on the last song." She bowed, "And for that he gets a special bonus!" The ninja's watched as points were added to the scarecrow's score, rising him higher than Sakura and slowly gaining on Kurenai and her large point number.

Kakashi turned to the child in his arms, hope restored in the future and smiled when the chunin looked up with wide eyes. "Do you think we can win, Kakashi-san?"

Just as the jounin was about to open his mouth to answer a scream of pure glee came from the red-eyed woman's mouth, making both ninja turn to see what was wrong.

"I beat you! I beat you! A hundred points, I beat you!" She crowed victoriously, moving over to snatch the chunin from Kakashi. "You get to stay with me for the rest of the week, three days of fun and adventure." The woman nuzzled the little boy and smirked at the other jounin. "Too bad, Kakashi. You almost had me with that bonus."

The gray-haired man felt his jaw drop underneath his mask. This couldn't be true, he was supposed to win, take Iruka home and save him from the crazy lady. That was just the way things were supposed to be in this type of adventure in Konohagakure. Except this time.

Kakashi nodded slowly, "Ya, ya, you win Kurenai. Just make sure to water my plants when I'm out of town!" He chirped happily while waving. He turned to walk away from the other jounin and chunin only to find himself face to face with Naruto, tears streaming down his face.

"How could you lose?" He muttered, turning a strange, sorrowful look to his old teacher, "Now Iruka-sensei is going to be sad." Before Kakashi could answer, his student brushed past him and over to Sakura with an extremely large, and extremely fake, smile on. He could hear the loud congratulatory from the genin and he wondered just how messed up that fox really was as he moved out of the arcade.

The humidity of the day had risen since the morning and the ninja hit it like running into a wall. He gasped in the moist air as he moved from the building, somehow feeling wrong without the small child hanging off his back or his front. He slowly walked in a different direction from his home, wanting to get away and wondering what would happen in the next few days in the ninja village.

_'It's better this way.' _He thought, nodding to a woman as she passed,_ 'He's out of my hair and I can get my priorities straight for my mission.'_ At the thinking of the mission, he couldn't help but let his mind wander back to Iruka, _'who was my mission before Sandaime-san said to switch.'_

He thrust his hands into his pocket, pulling them out quickly when something unusually cool brushed against his hand. The copy ninja slowly slid his hand back into the pocket, wondering absently what could be in there and still be cool. He withdrew a key, simple and gleaming dully in the hazy afternoon sun. Then it struck him.

He still had the key to the chunin sensei's house.

A sudden thought hit Kakashi as he held the key up to the afternoon sun; why not go to the other teacher's house and see how it's fairing. _'Iruka has been gone for a few days, he might have mail or something like that.'_ The copy ninja reasoned, pushing away the part of his mind that screamed to explore the man's house for fun.

He walked down the street with a new purpose in mind, whistling under his breath. The number of the house was stamped into the key, so when he would have been confused and had to find out where Iruka lived, he just needed to look at the small piece of metal.

The jounin stopped in front of a modest one-story house, a good deal like his own, except that it was somewhat bigger than his own. He was about to put the key into the lock's hole when something caught his attention; _'It's also in a better neighborhood.'_ He thought, turning to see a small group of children run past. He smiled under his mask at the little boy who paused to stare openly at him.

"Koda, come on!" A girl ran back, grabbing the hand of the slightly smaller boy, before scolding him lightly and trying to pull him in the direction the group had gone. Her brown, almost black, hair was put into pigtails and she almost didn't notice Kakashi until he cleared his throat.

The little girl sized the much taller man up, her eyes narrowing, and then pointed at him accusingly. "You stole Iruka-sensei!" She screamed loudly, frightening the birds that were roosting in a nearby tree and alerting all of the mothers that something was happening.

This shocked Kakashi out of his blank staring, and forced his body to move from putting the key into the door. The jounin watched as the girl gestured for another child to come over who had to be the same age of about seven, but was the smallest of the trio and was carrying a large bobtailed cat. "What is it? I want to go and get ice cream." She grumbled sullenly, pouting and snuggling her cat to her chest.

The cat meowed loudly in discomfort and she adjusted her grip on the feline, murmuring soft reassurances to it. Her shoulder length blond hair was pushed behind her ears, but a few strands had escaped in front of her huge blue eyes. "Chiyoko, this better be important. Moshi wants his vanilla smoothie."

Chiyoko, as she was revealed, jerked her head at the older male. "We can't get ice cream, baka." She shook her head at the confused children, "He stole Iruka-sensei!" That seemed to snap the ninja out of his puzzlement to approach the youngsters.

"I didn't take Iruka." He said, startling two of the three children, who hid behind the cat girl. "He's just away… On a mission. He'll be back at the end of the week." He said brightly while nodding his head, also reminding himself that he lost the chunin in a dancing fight to Kurenai of all people. "Who are you anyway?"

He blinked stupidly when the boy and taller girl walked away, talking about what flavors they wanted, leaving the blond girl alone in front of Kakashi. "My name is Umi. I'm sorry for any problems that Chiyoko and Koda caused." She bowed and Moshi's bottom-half rested on the sidewalk. "Sorry kitty." She said, shocked when the cat mewed from the uncomfortable position.

"So… How do you know Iruka?" Kakashi asked as he unlocked the door and pushed it open. The girl skipped into the house with her cat, humming a song as she bounced onto the couch.

"He's my teacher." The girl said, smiling at the jounin as he sat in the armchair a few feet away from her. "I'm in…" Her face screwed up in concentration, eyes examining the ceiling like it knew the answer, "Class C on Mondays and in the advanced speed class on Wednesday."

"I just got back from that lesson." Umi shifted her weight into a more proper sitting position, placing the cat on the ground so it could trot into the kitchen. Suddenly her pale eyes fixed on the relaxed jounin, something calculating behind them. She leaned forward and the child transformed from innocent to evil, scheming old woman.

Kakashi tensed under the girl's gaze, feeling like he was being examined like a dead frog on a school biology table. So he ventured a question. "Yes?" Okay, it wasn't the best question, but he was tired from dancing and wanted the kid to leave so he could explore Iruka's house.

The great copy ninja growled when a huge grin spread on Umi's face. Something was up, so he braced himself for the other foot to fall. And he got what he wanted.

"I think you like Iruka-sensei." The child said before scooping up her cat, which had reappeared from the kitchen licking his lips, and skipping out the still open door. "And I don't mean like a friend." She continued when Kakashi opened his mouth to say everyone like the chunin teacher, "I think you 'like' like him."

She then resumed with her leaving of the house, being polite enough to say good-bye and close the door after her. Thus leaving a confused elite jounin in her wake, alone in a darkened house wondering what was happening to him.

* * *

"I wanna go." Iruka grumbled, scrunching up his face and lifting his head to glance mournfully at Kakashi's retreating back. The chunin sighed when the other man didn't turn back after a few feet. He lowered his head and allowed himself to become a puddle of limp child, wanting to make this as hard as possible for Kurenai.

The jounin grimaced at the sudden increase in weight but bore it with a smile. "Oh, it won't be that bad, Iruka-cun. I'm sure you'll have so much fun with me, why, you'll forget all about Kakashi!" She pushed open a door and walked into the heat but showed no sign of discomfort, how could she? She had Iruka.

The child, instead of feeling better at these words, seemed to become even sadder. "I want Kakashi-san. Not crazy old lady." He said, not knowing of what dangerous ground he was treading into.

"Are you calling me old?" Kurenai asked, eyebrow twitching as she increased the strength of her grip on the child. Iruka nodded and giggled when he caught sight of her face. She smiled sweetly down at the chunin, "I think you should apologize and be a good little boy."

The pigtailed boy sighed, giving the older woman puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, Kurenai-sama. Please don't be angry with me. I'll try to be good in the future." He then inclined his head, trying to bow in the tight hold that she had on him. And so she let down her guard. Which was a big mistake.

The child slipped out of the arms as quickly as he could and began to run in the direction he had seen the gray haired man leave, getting lost in the crowd that was out shopping and other sorts of things. So he did the only thing a child of his age would do. He dropped to the ground; not caring that people were giving him strange looks, and began to bawl at the top of his lungs.

His cries were cut short though when a pair of muscular arms picked him up from behind, meaning that a man, or really buff woman, was carrying him. Hoping against hope, Iruka craned his head to see who it was. It might have been Kakashi returning from somewhere, he didn't have to know, coming to get him back.

A beard was the only thing he saw.

"Eh? What do we have here? A little pipsqueak lost?" A voice asked gruffly, the smell of a cigarette drifting through the air briefly before the walk, which had been interrupted by the small child, carried on. "I think you might be property of Kurenai." A chuckle rolled through the body and Iruka couldn't help but feel safe in the foreign arms. This was person like Kakashi, who had pushed himself through harrowing physical feats many a time and who was, in spite of everything, around to tell the tale.

The child still couldn't tell who it was; he might have squirmed if his inner alarms went off except that somewhere deeply buried, his mind was whispering that he knew this person. So he settled into the individual's chest and sighed moodily at the passing people.

The man paused when a woman walked past, dragging her child off to go shopping for school, beginning to talk again. "So what's your name? I don't want to give you to Kurenai if you ain't the kid she's supposed to watch after. Don't know why the hokage would assign her to a mission this easy." He muttered, his body tensing momentarily and showing the displeasure at another jounin having a seemingly easier task.

"She wants to steal me." Iruka said, leaning deeper into the body when he caught sight of the red-eyed woman out of the corner of his sight. "Don't want to go with her, wanna go back to Kakashi-san. He's nice and doesn't want to eat me like the scary crazy lady."

A soft chuckle made the chest move and the chunin felt and heard the amusement in the next words. "Yeah, she is a little bit like a bitch." The man said, not seeming to care that he had said a curse word in front of a child.

The pigtailed boy nodded and tried to hide his giggle, making fun of Kurenai always made him feel better, "Oh, I forgot." A simple hum from the bearded man proved he was listening, "My name is Umino Iruka. I'm only three years old." The chunin turned child said, stretching up three fingers so his carrier could see.

A longer chuckle followed this time, accompanied with a change in direction away from Kurenai. "Is that so, Iruka? Well, my name's Azuma. I think you might know me from a long time ago, but right now, let's get you away from the scary lady, shall we?" And suddenly they were on the rooftops and running at a casual pace.

"But where are we going, Azuma-san?" Iruka asked; looking up into the beard again when staring at the ground had made him dizzy. "Kakashi-san is busy, he has a mission, and monster girl is going to eat me. And I don't really want to be eaten."

Instead of being taken seriously, like the child was aiming for, this seemed to make Azuma laugh even more. He frowned angrily, he didn't like it when people made fun of him, and so he tried to make the adult understand what he was trying to say, "Well," He bit his lower lip thoughtfully, "would you like to be eaten by a scary monster girl?" A shake of the head was all he saw, never seeing the grin at his expense on the jounin's face. "I thought so."

"I think I'll answer your first question, Iruka." The voice rumbled, making Iruka giggle and poke at the vest-covered chest; wanting it to make more noise. "I'm going to be taking you somewhere the scary lady and monster can never find you. Someplace where they wouldn't think of looking in for a small baby like you."

He hissed and pulled his hand away when a sharp pain jolted through, glaring at the little boy who was pouting at him. "I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy."

"Yeah sure." Azuma said, positioning his hands farther away from the chunin's mouth. He wouldn't make the mistake again, next time it could lead to him dropping Iruka and he knew Kakashi would have his hide.

"It's true. I'm probably more mature than you." Iruka said smuggly, grinning at the incredulous look that the man shot him, which almost cost him his cigarette when his mouth dropped open.

"Are not, I'll always be more mature." Azuma reasoned, not caring that this was the most responsible and mature teacher in the academy. He shoved his cigarette back into his mouth with a free hand, shoving the kid under his arm when he grabbed a flagpole to swing onto another roof.

"Are too." The child argued back, crossing his arms and turning up his nose, which was difficult in the position that he was currently in; legs dangling in back of him as he tried to seem aloof.

"Are not."

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not infinity!"

"Too infinity multiplied by two!"

"Not infinity times eight!"

"Too infinity multiplied by infinity!"

"I hate you."

And so, one of the more _mature_ ninja's of Konohagakure set off on a different mission than the one he was assigned to do this morning. Personally, he was glad for this new diversion. The other mission just seemed a little bit too odd to be an A-class mission.

Who ever heard of a jounin man watering the flowers for the old woman at the end of the street?

To be continued...

* * *

**End of Chapter Junk:**

****

Ah, so Kurenai legally has custody of Iruka-cun. Because beating Kakashi at a dancing game is like going to a judge…

But then Azuma came to the rescue!

Yeah, Azuma! You saved little Iruka from harm and are moving him somewhere safer!

… Hopefully…

Unless Kurenai catches up and takes what's hers…


	10. Poker Power

**Disclaimer**

****

I do not own Naruto. Yes, my disclaimer a little boring this week, no?

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, well maybe some horrible diarrhea, but Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi who doesn't understand why everyone wants a piece of him.

**Author's Notes**

First off, this chapter took only a week to write. Not my usual two weeks, since you people complain about it. Second, the reason this chapter is out faster is because I broke my foot, and thus cannot move very far and I am stranded to the downstairs of my house.

Plus, I was working on my other story, which all you lovely people can read a preview of in my profile.

Yeah, I should really work on that…

…

Shut up, stupid brain…

* * *

**Plastic Ponies**

"Ah, who's this, Asuma?" Genma asked, chewing on his toothpick and leaning back in his chair. He lowered the cards he was shuffling momentarily, regarding the small child that was dropped from the larger man's arms and into the chair across from him. "I didn't think you would start a baby-sitting service so late in your life." He said blandly, sticking his tongue out at the boy and turning back to shuffling.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny. Shut up." Asuma grumbled, pulling out a chair next to Iruka and putting his cigarette out in the ashtray to his left. "So, is Raido coming tonight?" He asked after taking the cards and beginning to pass them out into three piles of five, assuming that the other ninja was going to arrive soon.

Genma shrugged, a nonchalant effort from the one who had now lifted his feet to rest on the table. "He'll come if he decides to come. Though I heard that he was getting pulled into a torrid affair." He laughed deviously, tossing his hair back behind his shoulder and making him seem more like a girl, "Of course Raido was always one to stick his nose into things he didn't understand."

"Much like yourself." Asuma retaliated, chuckling at the fake shocked expression on the older man's face. "So if he isn't coming are we just going to play?" He asked, lighting another cigarette after letting the rest of the deck fall onto the folding table surface. "Cause if that's so, I'm going to win every time."

A small cough made both look at the child, who had covered his mouth to remain polite in front of the adults. Iruka stared back, eyes wide and innocent, and a sudden thought came to Genma. "Let the kid play, gods know he probably has more skill at playing cards then you do." He leaned forward and slid the small pile of cards over to the boy, smirking at the confused look on the youngster's face.

"What are we playing?" Iruka asked cautiously, picking up the cards in both hands, squaring them off and fanning them out in front of his eyes. His chocolate eyes widened even more when a few dollars and coins were pushed in front of him for betting, the woven paper folded and worn.

"Not 'Go Fish.'" Genma responded, smiling and looking at his new cards. "Though that would be a nice change… No, the game's poker and we're going to teach you how to play." The child nodded eagerly and Genma couldn't help but warm to the black-haired boy who was sitting across from him. "It's pretty simple…" He began, explaining the rules to the young adolescent and becoming amused at the strained concentration on the child's face.

"So… Who is the kid?" He asked Asuma after a few minutes had passed, snickering at the boy when he tried to imitate his one handed hold on the cards.

Asuma smirked, lighting up another cigarette with his free hand, the other holding his own cards in a bored fashion. "Well, if you must know, that is the favorite teacher of the students in the academy." At the blank look he continued, smacking his hand against his forehead, "Otherwise known as a certain Iruka-sensei." He mouthed around the rolled nicotine, shuffling his cards around in an easier fashion to read.

A quirked eyebrow was all that Genma revealed about his inner thoughts, tossing a coin into the middle of the table. He looked at the child, giving the go-ahead for him to place his own bet into the pile also while Asuma soon followed with the slamming of his money on the growing pile.

"I meet your fifty and raise it to a dollar!" He proclaimed happily, a dollar instead of a coin on top of the other two coins. "Too rich for your blood?"

Genma scoffed and threw in another coin, his mood indifferent and, pun needed, poker face in place. He smiled over at the child, knowing it was Iruka who all the students adored and fought to be in the few classes that he had each day, and nodded when he placed his own coin into the fray. The crestfallen expression on the tan child showed that he had bad cards, he was never that good at controlling his emotions.

Asuma glanced at his cards again, considered his options, and nodded happily. "I call." He said, fanning out his cards in front of him, the beginnings of a royal flush apparent.

Iruka scrunched his nose, "What does that mean?" He asked as he pointed, tilting his head quizzically to the side, too cute for words.

"It means we show all our cards and see who wins." Genma explained, lowering his cards and showing three pairs: fours, nines and kings. "I use nines and kings as my high. Looks like I beat you Asuma." He said, pointing out that the other man had only a pair of fives, paling in comparison to his own cards. "What about you, Iruka?"

"I don't know." He said quietly, placing his cards on the table and revealing three aces, "That's good… Right?" His eyes shone with child-like delight, knowing he did something correct on the first time. He leaned over the surface and pulled the pile towards him, giggling in the high pitch that all children have until second grade.

The dazed look on both jounin's faces was unnoticed by Iruka, who was now putting his money into neat piles. "All done." He said; looking up finally and seeing Genma's expression, Asuma had changed his to indifferent while waiting, "What's wrong? Did I do bad, I'm sorry." He inclined his head forward slightly to try and bow in the chair, still being polite even in this form.

Asuma leaned over to Genma, cupping his hand near his mouth so he could speak freely to the other man, "Don't worry, it's a fluke. Besides, if he beats you all the time, how am I supposed to win your money?" A dry laugh was all that came from the dealer after the comment and a roll of the cigarette, reshuffling the deck.

"Yeah. Nothing to be concerned about. Little kid just has really good luck. Yeah, sure he may be Iruka, but he just has good luck." Genma muttered, glancing over at the humming child who was swinging his feet that were hanging off the chair, before he picked up his cards and peeked at the fairly good hand. "And that luck's going to fail in just a few turns and bets." He smirked lightly.

Six games later and both jounin's were tapped out.

Little Iruka could barely be seen over the pile of cash and change, so he pulled himself up onto the table and just sat on the table, it being easier. "Are we done now?" He asked, the voice sending shivers of anger down the spines of every other person in the room.

"Of course not." Genma said before Asuma could interrupt, "We still have other stuff to bet." With that said he shrugged off his flax vest.

Asuma pushed from the table, "I think I'll leave you two alone. Hey, kid," Iruka looked up from examining the jacket, his small hands opening the compartments and passing back the scrolls to Genma, "Beat this idiot so we can leave." He stood up and walked into the other part of the teachers break room, pouring a cup of coffee a few feet away.

"Okay, Asuma-san." He replied brightly, receiving his cards and trading in two for different ones. "When do you think this game will be over?"

The man being asked growled when Iruka won again, a pair of queens and kings against his bluff of nothing. "When I win." He said, pulling off his pairs of gloves and throwing them onto the table with a grunt. "And that'll be in a few minutes"

A few moments later, actually, more like a few hours…

Genma glared at the child who was sitting atop the pile of clothing and weapons, those that he could lose and be replaced easily, that is.

"Can I go now?" Iruka asked, pouting at Genma and placing down a full house. "Asuma-san said to made this quick and I'm tired. Here." He slid the pile over to the disgruntle man, "You can have it, I just want to leave and see what Asuma-san wants to do." The chunin then jumped off the table and ran over to the jounin teacher, who was sipping at his seventh cup of coffee.

"Yep, let's go." He stooped to pick up the child, ignoring the look from the other man in the room. "I have someone else for you to meet. You'll probably like them." He said, moving out the door and into the fray of children about to leave class for dinner, except for a cry that made him cringe.

"What're you doing with Iruka-sensei?"

The jounin looked around and spotted all the children who were leaving were now stopped and staring at him with wide eyes curiosity. "This isn't Iruka." Asuma tried the old "lie to children" trick; it usually worked but this time they were too sharp for the older man.

"Yes it is." Another child piped up, pointing to emphasize his point, "He showed us one day during class, to prove that…" He faded off, a frown slowly spreading onto his face, obviously not remembering the lessons that were taught to him by the teacher a few days ago before this happened.

A small girl huffed at him and the entire class smiled, "Anything is possible when you're a ninja!" They all chorused, laughing in delight after it was said. Some children moved closer to Asuma, those that were older pulled his arms down so the rest could look at Iruka better.

A teenager, by the looks of him, about to graduate the academy, crossed his arms and his eyes narrowed, "What _are _you doing with Iruka-sensei? I don't know if he'd appreciate you holding him if he wants to turn back. That would be very unethical, since you're a boy and he's a boy." The teen ignored the large percentage of girls, and some boys, who perked up at the mention of yaoi.

They had backed him into a corner, the little brats had outwitted the jounin just so they could ask this type of question and make him mess up with a stupid answer. Oh, they were good.

"Well… You see…" He paused, fumbling for a good answer and looked down for help from the three year old only to find him missing. He watched as the students quickly surrounded the much smaller child, most of them didn't start training until they were seven and only a few special occurrences, like another certain jounin, ever came in earlier. He trusted the other children to take care of the chunin while he thought up a plausible excuse. "Something happened and…"

An eruption of giggles made Asuma jerk his head to find Iruka, he was suddenly protective of the chunin and now understood how Kakashi felt. Not like that, he just didn't want to see the child get hurt or in trouble. Besides, it would be his hide, he believed, if the other jounin found out he let the child get injured.

"He'll be better in a few days, that's all you need to know." He said, picking up the laughing child back into his arms. The confused look made him feel as if a bolt went through his heart; he was a softie, really, no matter what the other ninja said about his gruff attitude. "Now you kids make sure you're good to your substitute." The children cheered in unison and left Asuma, dinner was much more appetizing anyway.

"Now, let's get going. Genma's sure to crack under Kurenai when she arrives, so we better be far away so she can't find you." The bearded man said, moving towards the open front door and shifting Iruka around so he was, again, hanging from the arm like a sack of flour. "I think I'll take you to another one of my favorite places.

"It's very nice. All the girls are sure to love you. Besides, I have some business there." He winked and set off on the sidewalk, ignoring the cries of protest from the smaller chunin.

* * *

Kakashi clapped his hands a few minutes after the child had left; his head back on straight from the little girl's comment and ready to explore the house of one Umino Iruka.

He stood and walked into the kitchen, wanting to see what had drawn the cat into that particular part of the house when there was so much more to explore. A tidy area, lined with tiles, was what came into view and the jounin smiled underneath his mask when he spotted a sliding door that was open partially, the rim of a bowl outside on a small patio. "That solves one question." Kakashi said aloud, no one was around to hear him so he might as well indulge in that crazy side of his brain that liked to talk aloud.

Suddenly, his jounin senses went off. The scarecrow turned slowly, his eye widening when he saw the object that set off his most basic instincts. The object of his true desires. The things that he thought of whenever he was free to daydream, which wasn't very often. Okay, maybe not that obsessive but close enough.

Donuts.

Not just any donuts. No. That would never satisfy the ninja's primal urges. They had to be glazed so much that they were swimming in their own juices. Sure it sounded disgusting but it tasted like a piece of heaven. He sighed happily and moved to the donuts in a trance, intent on eating the pastries and halting their seductive siren song directed at him.

He paused, eyebrow curving in confusion at the small piece of paper folded on top of the cardboard box. He lifted it up, wondering why it would even be on a box when he read the message and grinned. _"Touch these donuts and die."_ Was written in the chunin's familiar writing, a scribbled skull and crossbones underneath the words.

"Don't mind if I do!" He replied happily, replacing the note after he grabbed a donut. Pulling his mask down, the man chewed thoughtfully as he wandered around the neat area. When the refridgerator came into view, he paused to marvel in the beauty of the future. "This is the thing dreams are made of." He sighed happily, opening the door, wondering what joys lay on the other side.

Kakashi paused, marveling in the glory that was Iruka's fridge. His 'like' likeness for the chunin had gone up a couple more notches.

At that thought the jounin slammed the door closed, backing off into the living room. "I didn't just think 'like' likeness." He said shaking his head and walking over to a bookshelf, where many of the books were either teacher related or boring textbooks. He thumbed through a book about microorganisms, the hard covered volume probably weighing more than five pounds in his hand.

"Besides, how could I 'like' like," He stopped, snorting through his nose and placing the book onto a modest, low wooden table; he had to stop using words that little children gave him. "Someone who, whenever I talked to him, we just argued about stupid things." Before he knew it, Kakashi was storming through the house, opening doors left and right as if he was urgently searching for something, which he didn't know himself.

The ninja's actions came to an end when he stumbled upon the chunin's room, halfway clean since the man in question probably was going to clean it when he got back from his morning walk. _'Which I helpfully destroyed and turned into a week long adventure.'_ He thought, stepping over a blanket that was rumpled on the floor.

He landed with a muffled 'oof' on the other man's bed, all trained grace gone as he looked at the nearby end table and spotted a few framed pictures. Kakashi's head perked at noticing the photographs, it was always better to know the person who's house you were exploring, right? Besides, the chunin was still a mystery to him.

Rolling onto his back, he held the photo in the air, allowing the light from the nearby window to hit it. He hummed as he looked it over, not yet seeing Iruka and wondering what this was a picture of.

A group of ninjas were standing in a small cluster, not in the middle, as was customary, but more to the right side of the photo. Huge smiles were on their faces as the picture was taken. Some were splattered with blood and mud, possibly coming home from a returning mission, while others looked as it they just ran out of the house for the picture. They all looked pleased with themselves at being ninja who put their lives on the line so they could protect the village they lived in.

It was probably just a graduating class photo, the academy took one every few years. Kakashi knew of those, every five years he was grouped with men who were almost ten years older than him just so they could take the one photograph.

Sighing, and disappointed at finding nothing new except that maybe Iruka couldn't take picture straight, he was about to set it down and grab another picture when something in the photo grabbed his attention.

In the background, a tall man was spinning a child around in his arms. Captured innocence in a village of killers was very rare so that must have been why the person who took the picture seemed to be drawn to the motion, centering in on them instead of the men and woman. The man was laughing, holding the child as he spun, feet braced on the ground in case he had to rescue the youngster if he fell.

He was in full ninja attire, but unlike the ones in the photo, he seemed happy to be back with his offspring instead of fighting. This was evident by the happiness on his face, and the child's. The scarecrow felt that this man was only fighting so he could protect those that he loved, the village coming second every time in his book.

Kakashi's eyes widened when he looked closer, vaguely recognizing the smaller person in the photo. "It has to be a student or someone who I just saw." He muttered while bringing his face closer to the picture, "Maybe one of the kids who attacked me."

Then it struck him. Why would Iruka keep a picture of an unknown child next to his bed? Why not in the living room or somewhere else? The puzzle was solved, at least for this photo. The giggling child being swung around by his father was none other than the, now the same age as in the photograph, chunin.

The jounin placed the photograph carefully back onto the table, he knew how valuable pictures were to ninja, picking up another one that was more recent. He knew when this one was taken, a few weeks ago. It was the annual water day of Konohagakure, celebrating the creation of their allies, village of mists, and every child waited patiently for this date. He, unfortunately, was not able to go since he had a S-rank mission.

Not that he wanted to run around with little children in their swimsuits, being chased by other people in their bathing suits. Last time he went all of the women had chased him around; trying to get him wet enough to take off his mask. To tell the truth, it was a very traumatic experience for the jounin.

A familiar face grinned back at him, accompanied by a newer one. Naruto was caught in the act of laughing with the photographer, pointing at the other person, while in his swimsuit. He was holding a hose, the nozzle dripping from having just been turned off, and looked as if he was having the time of his life.

The casualty?

Iruka was glaring at his past student, ready to go into lecture mode by the expression on his face. The chunin was wearing a regular swimsuit and was yelling at the top of his lungs at the blond, his appearance caught in the middle of a yell. At least seven children were hanging off him, holding him down so he could get wet, and were all laughing at their funny teacher who just got sprayed.

"Interesting…" Kakashi muttered, switching the photo for the last on the small counter, wondering what could be in the last frame. He shifted his weight on the mattress before looking, his body finally in a comfortable position.

When the picture was above him a piece of paper fell out, landing on the man's nose. Deciding that this might help him understand what the photo was showing, he hadn't looked at it yet, he unfolded it quickly one handed. His eyebrows furrowed while he read it, confused by what it meant.

_Ha, ha. Caught you in the act, Iruka. Try to be a little sneakier next time you do the unspeakable of teachers. _

_Kurenai_

Deciding that it was time to look at the picture and see what the woman was talking about, after all she had been a teacher in the academy for a while. So Kakashi decided to see what was so taboo among the teachers of the village, dropping the shred of paper near his head and moved the photo into his view.

The chunin was slumped over on his desk, one hand holding a pen in the air as he slept, the other pillowed under his cheek. The papers surrounded him, a miniature fortress, and the stack in front of him was the only pile that was corrected. His forehead protector had been pulled off, resting on the paperweight that was in the shape of a fat, little kitten.

Shaking his head in disbelief, who would keep a picture of themselves next to the bed? Kakashi placed the picture back on the table and stared up at the ceiling. He sighed and allowed his eyes to close, mind reeling from the strangeness of the chunin.

_'If I knew this was going to happen,'_ He thought, vaguely feeling his mind start to go blank and sleep taking over. _'I would have never changed him in the first place.'_

Then, one of the elite jounin of the village hidden in the leaves, fell asleep in a bed foreign to him. Knowing that he was going to leave for an assassination in a few hours.

* * *

**Another Authors Notes:**

Oh no! Is Asuma taking Iruka to see bad people? And how does the jounin know about women? Bad, bad Shikamaru teaching about the pleasures of the flesh!

Kurenai wasn't in the chapter, YEAH! But that doesn't men that she's disappeared off the earth, maybe she's off lurking with Sakura… Boo!

Kakashi sleeping in Iruka's bed! Have you no shame! He has to be in the bed with you for it to work out! Oh those jounin's and their hormones… I tsk at them.


	11. Fractured Fairytales

**Diclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was suppoed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Many people are probably wondering; is DC making this a yaoi? And the answer is: I don't know. But since I have a certain fondness for the KakaIru couple, something might happen when Iruka changes back… Not that I'm implying something, no, that would never do.

I would like to thank my reviewer, Dragna Vey, for pointing out the difference in achanged that in the chapter and have re-posted it. This was my first time writing Genma and I want to thank you for the detail, I haven't read into any of his stuff and only know that he protects the hokage later in the series.

On the argument about the "special jounins." I know that Genma is one of those elite guys and I would have typed it, but, alas, I have been stricken with the deadly disease of being lazy. So, when Asuma and Genma are both implied, I just write "the jounins" or something like that because it takes a lot more work to write, "the Tokubetsu Jonin and regular jounin."

Thank you and gomen nasai.

Now, enough of my ramblings. On to the fic!ge. I have

* * *

Iruka sighed while he stared at the land passing underneath him, counting rocks and other objects that passed though his vision. His eyes snapped shut when his face got a little too close for comfort to the ground. He groaned when Asuma took another turn, insides spinning from the movement.

"Are we there yet, Asuma-san?" He gagged when the man jumped into the air, the world turning upside down for a moment then righting itself.

The jounin snickered and vaulted up to another roof, feeling the smaller body cringe. "We're almost there, stop whining." He grumbled, looking behind his back to make sure he wasn't being followed. Reassured, he landed softly on the ground and walked up to a door that he knew very well.

Not that he went to this place a lot. No, he was a respectable jounin and only let himself come here to meet with some of his old friends from the academy. Who decided to join a different occupation after graduating. … Yeah, that was a real good excuse. With that in mind, Asuma walked through the door with the child under his arm.

"Hello, welcome!" A scantily clad woman said, dressed as a cowgirl, walked up to the duo and flaunting her body. She suddenly paused and a huge smile lit up her heavily makeup covered face, "Asuma-sensei! How nice of you to come" She latched onto the empty arm, calling to the room, "Girls, it's Asuma-sensei!"

"Asuma-sensei?!" Was screeched and a hoard of girls ran out of the back room. They all were dressed in bikinis or other outfits that left nothing to the imagination.

One woman, who was wearing a devil outfit and had her pitchfork in the nook of her arm, smiled down at the little child. "Aw! Asuma-sensei, you never told us you got married! And with a little one!" She picked him up from the confused jounin's arms; he was concentrating on a different woman who was dressed like a mermaid.

Another snickered, leading them into the bowels of the club, "Like Asuma-sensei could find a woman who could stand his smoking." She picked the cigarette from his mouth and took a drag from it, "Besides, he would never leave us." She pouted and stuck her lip out, effectively seeming innocent, placing the cigarette in its owner's mouth.

They pushed the duo into the darkened room, chatting all the while. "So what are you doing here, Asuma?" The bartender asked after the other girls left to get ready for work, leaving out the proper title and cleaning a glass in front of her corset covered stomach. "I didn't think you were the type to take care of kids as a favor." She smirked and hung the glass on a wire and leaned forward, effectively showing her breasts to the wide-eyed Iruka.

She paused and stared at the astonished child before chuckling nervously and standing up straight, "I'm guessing that you're hiding from someone." She smiled knowingly and resumed cleaning one more glass, "You're going to have to get rid of the kid. We can't have minors in here, no matter how early." As if to prove her point she gestured to her own body, which was covered in belt buckles to form an outfit that really didn't cover all that much.

And she was only the bartender.

Asuma sighed and looked over at the boy who was sitting on the barstool next to him, wondering what he could do to get rid of him. "Can we hang out here, let the little guy in the back with the girls? I'm teaching him to…" he searched for a word, "To appreciate women." He nodded at the woman in front of him.

"Against my better judgment, I'll let him back there." A wicked grin spread across her face, "But not you. He's more mature than you and knows not to ogle the goods." She laughed and grasped the little boys hand, pushing past the bar door and helping him of the tall chair. Her body had to bend to the side so she could escort the child to the backroom, a warming sight for Asuma to see the boy with a woman instead of a man.

"Wait a minute…" His eyes narrowed in sudden concentration. "I'm more mature!" He yelled, shaking his fist at the retreating backs before they disappeared behind the changing room door.

The woman laughed as the door closed, hearing the comment, before looking down at the child. "What's your name, cutie?" She asked, kicking a dress that was on the floor out of the small boy's way. When he didn't answer she shrugged and continued on her way, wondering what Asuma had saddled her with this time.

A wall was covered with mirrors and counters, which in turn were covered with makeup supplies and costumes. Iruka watched in awe as a woman walked past, her body covered strategically by shells. His eyes widened further when a tall stiletto heeled lady walked up, suspenders covering her breasts and holding up a shredded pair of shorts to her body. She paused and looked at the child in confusion, "Hey, Fio, I thought she dropped her kid off at the daycare."

Fio, as she was now revealed to be, snorted quietly and picked up the toddler again. "Oh, Asuma-sensei wants all us girls to keep an eye on him. To teach him how to appreciate the finer sex," She grinned and sat the child on a nearby counter, "and get him out of his hair for a while probably, too, so he can get smashed." Her hand ruffled the child's hair and she smiled softly at the child when his eyes snapped shut.

The women who had been coming closer out of curiosity, some still half dressed, began to giggle at the cuteness of the child. One dared to poke at Iruka, a chorus of "aw's" when his eyes remained closed and a blush rose on his face.

"At least he has some manners, unlike some of those men." A black haired woman said, picking up the boy and nuzzling him closer. "Can I watch him, Fio? I don't go on until later and he'll probably be asleep by then." She pleaded, not seeing the pair of brown eyes studying her from her arms. "Besides, I have some kid stuff in my bag from my sisters."

The bartender sighed and massaged her temple, fighting off an oncoming migraine, and nodded. "Fine, fine, Eliza, you can take care of him." She turned to the other girls when a chorus of groans issued from them, "But if Asuma-sensei asks for him back, one of you come and get her, okay?" When they all agreed Fio turned to leave, her leather belts creaking, and yawned hugely. "Just make sure you don't loose him." She said, "I can't chase after him tonight."

She then left the rest of them to get changed, Eliza walking farther into the room away from the hustle and bustle of the others and the "Sari! Did you see my bra?" into the back part where a small kitchen was revealed, along with all the bags of the workers.

Eliza smiled down at the child now in her care, tucking a strand of her ebony hair behind an ear, "Hello." She extended a hand to the child, "My name is Eliza, I'll be watching after you until Asuma-san comes to get you." Her bangs fell into her eyes and she grinned as she blew them up.

"My name's Iruka…" The chunin grumbled, upset at being dumped into the hands of a person he didn't know. Again. His face morphed into an adorable pout while his arms crossed in a stubborn way, he didn't want to be here.

"Why, what an adorable name! Iruka-kun!" Instead of pinching his cheek, which happened whenever he pulled this face, Eliza turned and grabbed a blue duffel bag from behind her. "I think it's a fine name for someone like you. A happy, little dolphin jumping in the sea." She didn't stop talking as she rooted through the pack, sparking the interest in the child side of Iruka.

The woman stood suddenly and closed the door when music began to pour in, "We don't need to here that." She chuckled lightly and moved back over to the child with a few books in her hands. "Now, I'm going to read you a story. Which one do you want to hear?"

Iruka grumbled and looked the other way, he wasn't going to cooperate. He stared at the wall, unaware of how much cuter he was when he ignored people.

"I have Pinocchio and some other things I can read…" She trailed off at the sight of the grumpy boy, "Or not. What do you want to do?"

The child turned to glare at her, scrunching up his face, "Don't want to read dumb story, want Kakashi-san to come and take me away from Asuma-san." He muttered crossly while sticking out his tongue after finishing.

Eliza smiled and pulled the child into her lap, avoiding the kicks and bites to her arms. "That's not a good reason. You have to tell me why you don't want to read these books." She snickered at the appalled shock that settled on the face of the boy, she was an aunt of a few years and knew how to deal with kids.

"He's a liar."

"Who is? Kakashi-san?" The woman asked, craning her head so she could look down at the sulking child who was doing the action adorably. At the mention of the jounin being a liar made the youngster crawl over onto the other side of the table, glaring at the woman and answered her question better.

"No." He shook his head violently from side to side, "Pinocchio. He's a possessed toy who lies a lot; I don't think anyone would want to read that."

She smiled at the child, wondering when her own nephews and nieces would become so philosophical on the subject of fairy tales. "Is that so?" The woman slid the book across the table, eyebrow rising in challenge, "You're going to have to tell me why I can't read you these stories. If you can I'll let you go find Asuma-sensei and even help you get him to leave."

The chunin grumbled under his breath and pulled the book towards him, flipping to the front and to the index of all the fables. He sighed and pointed to the next title, "Snow White, a lady who was followed by small woodland creatures that did her bidding. Sounds like she was a witch." He went onto the next story.

"And then there's Rapunzel." Said Iruka, looking up at Eliza. "Who in their right mind would let someone use their hair as a ladder? She could have just cut it off when the evil person wasn't there." He was about to go onto the next title when the book was grabbed back.

"Okay, okay, I see your point. Don't know how you can read, but I never look a gift horse in the mouth." Eliza said; the book discarded in her bag, "I'll just have to make up a story for you." She tapped the boy on the nose playfully.

Iruka grimaced, sure that this wasn't going to go well. "But you said you'd help me get away from Asuma-san!" When he was ignored, the woman was digging through her purse; he sat down grudgingly and crossed his arms.

Eliza grinned, pulling out a different book. It was roughly made and must have been read many a time. "This is something that my friend made for me ahead of her other books being published. This book's a little racy, more for adults, so she's waiting until her sales go up a little before getting it published." She began, narrowing her eyes at the child, "And since you're so wise in the way of stories, let's see how you like it."

She cleared her throat; looking to make sure Iruka was paying attention to her. He wasn't, instead choosing to look at the door and trying to force it to open with his mind. "Now, little boy, I shall tell you the adventures of the pigtailed mortician and her sidekick, gurney girl!"

His interest was now focused onto Eliza.

"Once upon a time, in a land called Deadmoor, there lived a pigtailed girl. Her name was Sandy." She turned the page that had a picture of a blond girl, who was playing with a skeleton boy, to the next, which featured an adult stitching an arm to a body. "She grew up to be a mortician.

"This pleased her parents very much so, since they believed that persons would always die. It seemed the best occupation in a town where death reigned supreme." Two proud adults were seen hugging the woman, tears streaming down their faces. The lady didn't look happy.

A flip of the page later and Eliza continued, aware of the wide eyes of the boy on the illustrations. "Now, this mortician had many friends, but her closest was a girl named Chel. She pushed in all the gurneys and tried to assist her employer when she could. She was a little clumsy so she couldn't help that much."

The girl, who had large glasses, was shown stumbling and throwing a tray that had medical instruments. The next page showed Sandy in a fix. She was pinned to the wall with scalpels and was holding a syringe in her teeth, needle almost down her esophagus. Chel was blushing nearby in shame.

"Unbeknownst to the town people, Sandy and Chel were really superheroes!" Eliza exclaimed, pointing to the transformed figures, capes fluttering behind their figures in an imaginary wind. "They called themselves the pigtailed mortician and gurney girl!

"They fought the greatest of enemies! Ranging from the evil underpants stealers," Shady fiends were seen tiptoeing away from a sorority, bags filled with booty, "To visiting in-laws." Huge relatives tried to squeeze through a tiny doorway to attack the huddled children, who were whimpering in fear.

"Of course they always defeated them." The foes had been piled on top of each other, the pigtailed mortician and gurney girl standing atop them. "And peace returned to Deadmoor again!"

Eliza smiled when Iruka crawled into her lap to look at the pictures, shifting the book so he could see them better. His head lolled wearily from side to side and he shook it to try and stay awake. When the story didn't continue the boy turned to the storyteller, "What happened next? I want to know."

"I thought you didn't like 'dumb stories'." She air quoted the child's words, smirking down at him. "I don't know if I want to finish this story. Besides, who in their right mind would want to know about the evil villan who takes over Deadmoor?" Eliza said; eyes traveling to the clock and estimating the time it would take for the child to fall asleep.

Iruka craned his head up to the woman with a look, "You have to be kidding. You can't say that and then not finish!" He stated, eyes widening. "So can you continue, please?" He batted his eyelashes at Eliza, "You read it pretty."

"Fine, fine. Since you flatter me so well." Eliza laughed, picking up the book with a new grip and licked her thumb to turn the next page easier.

"His name was The Dragon." A picture of a skinny man wearing a pair of lizard wings was shown, glowing letters above him proclaiming that he was, indeed, The Dragon. "One day, he was going to rule the world, he decided. And to do that, he would have to get rid of the pigtailed mortician and gurney girl.

"So, he planned and he plotted, plotted and planned, until he came up with the ultimate plan!" The nerd like man was seen laughing fiendishly, hands curled in victory, while lightning blazed in the background. "He would enlist the help of his Happy Panda Group robots and they would control the world with their bubblegum kamikaze's!"

The man was seen working on the robots, which were in different colors and smiled happily as he attached legs and gave them brains. "They laid siege to the city, attacking everyone in sight." The bears led the people of Deadmoor into prisons, laughing and smiling as they did.

Eliza flipped the page, yawning, "The pigtailed mortician and gurney girl had no idea what to do! The robots were so strange and were so happy when they captured people that the superheroes were soon also imprisoned." The two women were pictured tied up with a rope.

"They quickly assessed the situation, since that was what you should do when things are going bad, and broke the ropes when the pigtailed mortician's trusty dog came and saved them." A dog made of bones pulled at the ropes, snapping them as if they were nothing, "He answered to the name of Bonsey McScruff Scruff."

Suddenly the door behind the two opened, a woman who was dressed in a feathery nightgown that was see-through walking in. "Eliza, you're needed in section seven. It's time for my break." The lady yawned and walked back the way she came, leaving the door open.

Iruka looked from the half closed doorway to the person whose lap he was sitting in. It had never crossed the chunin's mind that she was a stripper like the rest of them.

"That's that. I guess someone else is going to have to finish the story for you." Eliza stood up, shedding her shirt and revealing an outfit that would make any man to have a nosebleed. "I'll see you later, cutie. If you're still awake." She then turned and with a final wink, walked out the door to go to work.

The child closed the book in his hands, sliding it on the table before pulling it back. "I'm going to read you. But first I have to find Asuma-san." He nodded, a plan in mind, and pushed off the chair to follow the footsteps of Eliza.

He stumbled after the woman, wandering into the dressing room and seeing things that a male should never see without paying a fee of some sort. In this case, it was his innocence.

Groups of women turned around in fear when a scream was heard behind them, covering themselves the best they could while thinking that a man had snuck into the changing room. None of them looked down to see the crying child run past, his hands clamped over his eyes firmly as he ran to the open door, leaving his book discarded on the ground.

Meanwhile, Asuma was having the time of his life. Not that he enjoyed any of this. That would be bad. The lady in front of him was doing all the right stuff, dressed as a rabbit, as he didn't think he was going to be leaving his seat anytime soon. With other men surrounding him, he knew that they would take his chair the moment her left, so he did the only thing a sane man would do. He continued to stare at the thin body in front of him.

Nursing his drink, he almost poured the entire mug down his front when a jerk on his pants made him look down to see Iruka. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, wondering what god was angry with him. Before the child could answer he shook his head, "Never mind, just stay down there and don't make a sound. We'll leave in a few minutes."

With a whimper, Iruka scrambled underneath the table and watched the legs go past. _'I wanna go now…'_ He thought sulkily, hugging his knees. When Asuma made no move to leave, Iruka sighed, _'I'll just have to go myself.'_ He crawled from the other side of the table and headed to the door, avoiding anyone who would stop him.

The jounin, who was supposed to be looking after the small child, turned back to the platform to see the woman he was watching kneeling on the other side of the stage. Thinking that his show was over, and he did need to get Iruka somewhere safe, he was about to push out from his chair when the woman leaned backwards from her location. Craning her body back to the man.

This allowed Asuma to look at the woman's front from a very nice view. But since she was leaning over in this strange position, it also let him see the woman's face.

"Give me him back, Asuma-baka." Red eyes narrowed dangerously as the woman slipped into a sitting position, legs crossed sensually in front of the man. "If you do, I won't rip your spinal cord out of your body." She smiled, contrasting with the frustrated expression that was on her face only a moment ago.

Asuma could only stare at the poorly clothed woman who was dressed like a kitty cat, wondering what hell he had died and gone to. "Give who back?" He muttered, jaw remaining in its down position and him vaguely feeling his cigarette butt fall to the ground.

The other jounin growled, standing to her full height and earning cheers from the men still watching. "You know who I'm talking about!" She demanded while pointing downwards. Then she leaned forward to glare into Asuma's eyes, only to get the strangest outcome.

The man screamed, hands covering his eyes much like Iruka's were when he was running for his life.

Kurenai sighed as she leaned against the metal pole to her side, twirling her tail through her fingers as the man slammed his head on the stage and effectively knocked himself out. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, wincing when a man slapped her ass after putting a dollar underneath her g-string.

"This is going to be a long night…" She sighed before cracking her knuckles and attacking the guy in back of her.

To be continued...

* * *

**End of Chapter Junk:**

Heeheehee. Kurenai is a part time stripper... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And poor Asuma, trying to make the most unethical things right.

Iruka escapes! Where was Kakashi this chapter? Hmm...


	12. Alone and Fogotten

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters from Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

I AM SO SORRY! The thing is, school just started for me and I am taking too many hard classes, like usual, my musical is starting up and my foot is STILL broken. It has been a frustrating month so far, and I feel as if I didn't do that good of a job on this chapter. So, if you are a nice reviewer, please be gentle when you review for this chapter. Thanks.

* * *

The street seemed to be deserted. Not a sound was heard in the abandoned roads of the ninja village of Konohagakure, everyone had left to sleep, or go on duty, a while ago. This was the time when the town of action and death filled with killers could be confused with any other small village.

Silence was what was revered at this hour. Nothing could be seen in the pitch black of night, the sun had set an hour and a half ago behind the memorial mountain. The last thing silhouetted by the dying rays was a couple very much in love walking along the head of the first hokage. They didn't seem to notice how close they were to the edge.

Children were tucked into bed and their mommies had kissed them good night, hoping they wouldn't wake until the first light so they, too, could get some sleep. Partying at clubs, older sons and daughters danced the night away and waited until curfew to make an untimely appearance. Waiting for them to arrive were their fathers, who took this time to read the paper and find out what they were missing in the outside world.

The parental head of the family met their lateness with a raised eyebrow. Let the mother deal with them. With that in mind he let the sighing offspring pass by unscathed, allowing them to think they had beaten the man, at least until he got scolded at not disciplining them. Might as well stay up another hour.

All seemed to be at peace. Everything was back in place and accounted for, and at the beginning of the day the whole of it would fall apart and resume the chaos that was life.

But what's this? A sniffle was heard as a figure came into view. The small feet dragged themselves on the sidewalk as if there was no more fight in the little body. A topknot sagged in silent defeat. Someone had been…

Forgotten.

* * *

A pale hand twitched in its sleep, looking for a kunai to throw and kill an imaginary enemy. When a scream wasn't heard, as was custom after the weapon was thrown, a blue eye opened slowly. It cleared rapidly when noting was recognized, pupil dilating to take in the most details before the person was killed.

Kakashi braced himself for the attack from the enemy, his body going tense, when his brain finally decided to kick in to remind him where he had fallen asleep. Groaning to himself, the jounin sat up and massaged his temples from an oncoming migraine and swung his feet over the side of the bed.

Then the details about his mission hit him full force.

"Why did I agree to do this?" Kakashi groaned, standing up to wander out of Iruka's bedroom. "I never have to do assassinations on the weekend…" He sighed and walked into the kitchen, noting that is was almost midnight. Stifling a yawn, ninja's were not supposed to yawn, he wrenched open the refrigerator and grabbed the milk.

Then he did the unspeakable among men. Something so horrible, that they only did it when they knew they could get rid of the evidence. The copy ninja Kakashi drank out of the carton.

And almost choked on the liquid when the doorbell rang, shocking him and alerting him that someone was outside.

Placing the container back in the fridge, and pulling his mask back up, he sauntered over to the doorway. _'Who could it be? Who could it be?'_ He sang in his head as he moved to the entrance.

Suddenly he stopped. What if it was a lady caller? That thought made Kakashi nearly decide against opening the door. But then an evil thing crossed his mind. If it did happen to be a woman, he could just… Pretend that Iruka was in the house with him.

Chuckling to himself he congratulated the pure malevolence of his thoughts. Again he stopped right before the door, his hand almost on the doorknob, 'But_ what if it's Kurenai?'_ Even the mere thought of the other jounin made his skin crawl.

Shaking his head, he opened the door and found Naruto frowning on the stoop. Kakashi felt confusion at seeing the boy so late, but before he could answer, sniffles made his head jerk back in surprise.

_'What is Naruto doing?'_ He thought, turning a more scrutinizing gaze on the blond only to be met with an even more intense glare. Then his ears helpfully informed him that it was so quiet it couldn't have come from the loudmouthed ninja, and that it was coming more on his right.

There, in all his miserable glory, stood and crying Iruka who was holding onto Naruto's hand like he was afraid to let go. Instead of leading him in, like Kakashi expected his student to do, he simply let go of the child's hand and nudged the chunin forward with a free foot.

"You caused this problem." His eyes blazed with an unknown ferocity at his teacher, only seen when the fox spirit took over. "Fix it."

He then turned and left the house, closing the door after him and leaving the two teachers behind in the now oddly quiet room of the house.

Kakashi glanced down at the still whimpering boy. He somehow felt that he had to comfort him, but bit back the urge to pick up Iruka and cuddle him to his chest. That would be most un-ninja like.

He settled for the next best thing. He walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the box of cookies he had seen previous to the introduction of the scared Iruka, and squatted next to the chibi. "Want a cookie?" He muttered, shaking the box next to the child.

Iruka pouted as he opened the box cautiously, reaching a small hand inside and pulling out a chocolate chip cookie. He nibbled on it cautiously, glancing out the corner of his eye every so often, as he toed his sandals off onto the rough woven mat near the front door.

After that was done, and two more cookies disappeared, the child stood up. Brushing off the crumbs so they wouldn't follow him around the house, Iruka walked straight past Kakashi without looking at him. He crawled onto the couch and sat, staring at the wall angrily.

Kakashi followed Iruka, unable to keep his curiosity at bay. It had gotten him into many, many problems that he couldn't get out of, and this was slowly turning into one of those times.

He was aware that what he was doing was probably suicide in the minds of many ninja's. Not surveying the situation at hand. Strike one point. Allowing emotions to rule your decisions. Strike another point. Walking straight up to the target without using stealth. Strike three points.

Kakashi sat down on the couch that was now next to him, aware of the small body moving away to another cushion. "So… What happened?" A simple question that could be understood from the very tiny to the old and gnarled, that was mainly everyone; at least, everyone but the little chunin.

He just turned his head and sighed before leaning his head on the armrest. Obviously, he wasn't going to talk to the older ninja until he was good and ready to.

'Frustrating little!' Kakashi thought as he quelled the urge to strangle the child here and now. 'He wants you to do this; he's trying to get on your nerves.' The rational voice in the back of his head told him, redirecting his anger at the other person to something more useful and constructive. 

The copy ninja picked up a piece of paper on the table and ripped it to a smaller size and began to concentrate on his folding. After a few moments he had created a beautiful piece of origami that any person would be happy to receive. He then placed it gently on the couch next to Iruka, as close as he dared anyway, to make sure that the figure was in the child's peripheral vision.

Brown eyes slowly shifted to glance at the figure and the small hands itched to pick it up and examine it even closer. Iruka turned and glared at Kakashi though his hands grasped the paper shape. "It's pretty. Thank you." He replied in a stiff manner, confusing Kakashi even more so.

The last time he had seen Iruka was only a while ago. What could have changed the chunin so much that he was thanking Kakashi for a simple origami piece? It had to be big whatever it was.

"Iruka?" Kakashi began, mentally sighing when the child didn't turn away, "How old are you?" He asked, thinking that at any moment the boy was going to revert back to his cute adolescent form.

Iruka blinked, "I'm ten…" He responded, placing the little paper dolphin on the table in front of him. "But everyone says I look younger…" He mumbled the last part, obviously embarrassed by his confession. The now older boy pulled his feet under him and watched the little porpoise, as if expecting it to move by some sort of magic.

Kakashi stared at the child finally understanding: Iruka was getting older everyday. With that in mind, the ninja stood from the couch and wandered into the kitchen. After seeing the time, which he deemed unsuitable for a child to be awake at, he turned around to tell Iruka it was time to go to sleep. Only to find nothing in the room he just left.

Scratching his head, he never did figure out how that kid disappeared so fast; Kakashi didn't see the shadow until it was too late.

"I win!!" Iruka screamed in his slightly squeaky voice while attacking from behind, toppling over the man who he vaguely remembered from a long time ago. "Now you have to answer a question." He pronounced happily as he dragged the man into the bedroom, hopping onto the bouncy mattress.

The copy ninja's one eye narrowed in disbelief, "Why do I have to listen to you?" He growled, standing with his arms crossed and trying to do the infamous, 'I'm older than you and so I must be smarter' pose. "You're only a little kid and I have more important things to do than answer your dumb questions." Kakashi continued.

Only when the tug on his sleeve was persistent did he look down, and see the biggest smirk on the chunin's face. This smirk was not the one that the elite jounin pulled often enough when making fun of Naruto or Sasuke. No, this was the type that meant pure torture. At least, that's what Kakashi thought but it was replaced quickly with a frowning pout that would melt the hearts of mother's worldwide.

Glancing up from under his eyelashes, and with his chin propped up on his hands, Iruka sighed mournfully. "It's a game." He explained slowly, like Kakashi was one of those children who didn't grasp something until it was spelled out for them. "You have to catch the other person before they catch you and if you're the first," he gestured to himself, "Then you get to ask a question.

"If the other person answers correctly, they get to ask a question. But if you think they're not answering truthfully…" His pout deepened and Kakashi again, wondered what he had gotten himself into. "Then they have to do something for you!" His smile brightened the room. "Anything." The temperature suddenly dropped ten degrees.

Kakashi shrugged and sat down onto the bed, making sure that he wasn't too close to the child. You never could know what those kids were going to drag you into. "So all you're going to do is ask me a question?" He laughed softly; ruffling the ponytail and making ends stick out from the elastic band, "Fine. Shoot."

Iruka growled and pushed his hair down with a free hand while his other went on the mattress to keep his balance. After a moment his eyes return to their normal position, he thought with his eyes cross-eyed, and he cleared his throat. "My question to you is what your name is?"

_'Ha, one question that's safe!'_ The older man said in his head as he struggled to keep a straight face. "That's pretty hard. Are you sure you don't want to go easier on me?" The boy shook his head from side to side, almost falling off the bed from the motion. "I think it is Hatake Kakashi."

The boy cocked his head to the side, like a puppy looking out a pet store window, and crawled towards the man. "I wish I knew who you were…" He huffed, falling onto his backside in a crossed leg sitting style. "Oh well, it's your turn now. Ask me any question." his past thoughts all but forgotten.

"Okay!" Kakashi clapped his hands, trying to ignore the disappointment that Iruka didn't remember him, and thought up a quick question to fire back. "Where did you get your scar?" This was going to be interesting no matter what was the answer.

Iruka looked up to the ceiling in contemplation, as if trying to remember himself then flopped onto the pillow in back of him. A forced smile crept across the chunin's lips. "Mommy said never to touch the swords. They were daddies and I wasn't big enough to hold them, so I had to stay away until he came back from his mission.

A silence followed and Kakashi was about to see if the boy was asleep when the child suddenly continued, "But he was always gone for so long…I wanted to be able to use them so when he came home I could show him I was old enough, to be able to go to the academy and become a jounin.

"I want to be somebody strong, like him." Iruka finished with a hushed sigh, melancholy expression coming to rest on his still young face. He hugged a pillow to his chest, lost for a moment in his own thoughts, before asking his next question to Kakashi, "Kakashi-san? Why do you wear a mask?"

Truthfully, the copy ninja had been expecting this question since the beginning of the conversation, what with the black fabric covering almost half of his face. "Well, to tell you the truth…" He stopped for dramatic silence, "I was born with it."

If pigs could fly, Iruka would have seen one zooming past his window that moment. Instead the chunin raised an eyebrow and shifted his weight, clearly unimpressed. "Whatever you say, Kakashi-san. But since I know you're lying," A pointed glance at the older man who had on a fake shocked face, "you have to do what I ask."

The sureness in the statement made Kakashi balk for a moment, there was only so many things a kid could think of that were torturous, right? Right?

Setting his face into a mask of steel, the jounin prepared for his just desserts. _'Maybe it won't be so bad…'_ He wondered while Iruka thought up something good, 'I_ mean; the worse thing that he can punish me with is cleaning his room. I mean, he's only a kid and they aren't that creative.'_

He was so engaged with his thoughts that he didn't hear Iruka's demand until the boy pulled on his sleeve. "What did you say?" He asked politely as he could, as if hoping to wear down the youth.

"I said: Take off your mask." Iruka kindly informed the man, sitting back with a smirk on his adorable features. "It can't be that hard. You just reach back and undo the knot." When Kakashi didn't comply immediately, and being the impatient person that he was, Iruka stood up on the bed and walked towards the dazed man.

"It's easy." He wrapped his arms around Kakashi's head, ignoring the indignant jounin for a moment, and quickly pulled the knot open. Stepping back to survey his handiwork, Iruka smiled in his certain way. "Why do you wear your mask, you're not that ugly!"

It was the way it was said, in such disbelief that made Kakashi bristle, "You thought I was going to be ugly?" He exclaimed, forgetting about the fabric pooled around his neck.

"Not really. I wanted you to have half your face burned off and the rest mauled by a bear."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Iruka sighed and shook his head, "Exactly what I said. I wanted your face to be really ugly… I'll never understand the vanity issues of you adults." The chunin sat onto the mattress with a sigh, looking at the wall with more interest. "Your girlfriend is probably as disappointed as me."

Kakashi balked, this was a side of Iruka he hoped he'd never have to see again, "Why would my girlfriend be disappointed? I think any girl who saw this face would be happy!"

A snort, "Yeah, if they're into that whole 'I think I so beautiful that the world doesn't deserve to see me' thing. If I ever get a girlfriend I'm never going to be weird like you, I'll be nice and courteous and she'll love me for it. Just like mother said I should be around girls."

"If you're going to be mean like that they I'll just put it back up." Kakashi huffed, pulling back up the fabric only to be stopped by a smaller hand.

The child smiled, "I'm sorry Kakashi-san, and I shouldn't have made fun of you and your girlfriend. You can leave your mask down and I promise not to make a big deal out of it again." He sat back down on his ankles and a pensive look came onto his face. "I wonder what your girlfriend is thinking about right now. Do you think she's worried, Kakashi-san? I know I would be worried about you."

He blinked in a confused manner; he didn't understand the second meaning to what he just said. "It's your turn to ask a question." He reminded, yawning and revealing how tired he was at the moment.

"Who do you like?" It was the only thing he could think of, but of course this was from a ten year olds perspective and there was probably nothing to worry about. Besides, Iruka had just made fun of Kakashi's face; it was the least he could do to repay the embarrassment.

Iruka blushed deeply and a little 'eep' came from his mouth as he ducked under a blanket. A muffled sound came from underneath and Kakashi knew that he was saying something at least.

The ninja unfolded his own legs and stretched his body the full length of the bed, giving the mound that was Iruka a poke. "I didn't hear what you said. You're going to have to speak louder."

A head popped from under the fabric and Iruka stuck out his tongue before sighing, "Her name's… Do I have to?" He groaned as if it was the end of the world when Kakashi nodded in apparent glee. Before another sound came out, Iruka froze, his eyes widening to a frightening degree.

The pure terror on the child's face let Kakashi know that something was horribly wrong. He edged forward on his elbows and gathered the still small boy to his chest, feeling the tension through his thin shirt. "Are you okay, Iruka? What's wrong?" He murmured urgently when the body seemed to go into shock.

He shook the child slightly and waited or a response, as trained, and panicked when he didn't receive an answer at once. Pursed lips moved and nothing appeared to come out, but when the jounin tilted his head he caught a few words here and there, hushed as if the child himself was frightened of what he was whispering.

"Gone…both had to…Demon fox…Protect…Why did…leave me…"

A shiver went down Kakashi's spine at the muted words, hugging the boy closer to his front. It was a time that he himself had tried to block out, so horrific that no adult who witnessed it wished to keep it in his or her mind. The only thing he could do to comfort the youth was to hold him and to make sure he wasn't alone right now.

Instead of pulling away, like Kakashi believed Iruka would do, the chunin burrowed deeper into his chest. As if pushing his head harder against the wall of muscle in front of him would make the images go away. Make the past vanish into darkness again. Force the expressions of terror to flee from his mind.

And so, on the fourth night, slowly bordering on the fifth, an innocent child grew old enough to remember that he was abandoned in the world and that his mommy and daddy weren't around to protect him anymore.

Umino Iruka turned eleven.

* * *

I feel so bad now…

Next chapter, no idea. All I know is that it's going to have the words "forehead" in it, somewhere.


	13. Coming and Going

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters from Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes:**

I am sorry that this chapter came out so late but I am falling behind in my classes, am doing a musical and are seriously sick. I couldn't sing for a giant concert that I had practiced months for.

* * *

A few hours later, with much un-restful tossing and turning, Kakashi awoke when the sun rose. With his mission still fresh in his mind, kill Nanashi; he almost didn't notice the body he was holding and currently using as a pillow.

Almost.

His eyes opened a fraction bigger as he stared down, ignoring the faint breeze across his still naked face, and mentally cursed at the sight that met his eyes. _'This is not good…'_ he thought, wondering how he was going to leave. _'This is definitely not good. I am screwed.'_

In front of him was a sleeping Iruka. A sleeping Iruka who had his arms wrapped around the jounin's waist hugging him. A sleeping Iruka who had his arms wrapped around the jounin's waist hugging him while in the body of a twelve year old. Kakashi **_was_** screwed.

Leaning on his side, and trying to figure out what he was going to do, the great copy ninja ignored his instincts for the moment. Especially the one, which normally told him to eat tuna, that was now telling him to cuddle the source of warmth closer to his body. With this fierce internal battle waging, he did not see the smaller body shift and roll away slightly; or the blurry brown eyes that opened to stare at him absentmindedly.

"What the hell are you doing?" The sentence was muttered in an angry tone that was usually reserved for killing murderers or beginning an attack on a giant robot from hell. Neither one was happening so Kakashi assumed it was aimed at him.

He blinked and looked down to find that problem one had disappeared, Iruka was no longer around his waist, but problem two had sprung up. Iruka was now in his teenager years.

A time of happiness, when hormones run wild and everyone seems to be in love. Where everything is joyful and spring is all year round. Unless you're one of those angry teens. Then it becomes eight angsty years of hate and slamming of doors in parental figures faces. Sadly, Iruka was one of those types.

So Kakashi tread lightly. "Sleeping." And failed miserably at the task.

Iruka nodded, shuffling around in pajamas that were too tight in some places, his eyes becoming half lidded and he looked like a cat about to pounce. "That was very obvious. Thank you for pointing that out, Hatake-san."

At the formal title, Kakashi felt his body go numb. _'He…he just called me Hatake.'_ He thought to himself, ignoring the glare shot his way. His eyes widened, _'He must be having those teenage hormones! Soon he's going to be disrespecting the Hokage, skipping school and…'_ He paused at that, suddenly remembering that Iruka didn't go to the academy, but another thought sprang up as quickly as one thought was settled. _'AND HE'LL GET HIS NOSE PIERCED!'_

The inner-Kakashi screamed and swooned to the floor, a puddle of blood forming under it. As pandemonium ranged inwards Kakashi simply pulled his mask up and stood up from the bed, brushing off his vest, which he had again forgotten to take off. He swore silently, he was going to have permanent creases in his skin by the end of the week.

Iruka growled as the other ninja left, "Where do you think you're going?" He asked with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of his body as if he caught Kakashi doing something wrong.

The gray haired man paused at the doorway, his hand resting on the polished wood gently as he turned to look at Iruka. A flicker of an emotion flashed across the jounin's face, but it vanished as quickly as it came. "Work." He stepped into the hallway and continued on his way to the kitchen. Who said he had to 'work', as he so skillfully put it, on an empty stomach.

'It is these simple pleasures in life that make it all worthwhile.' An anonymous quote that seemed to explain everything. Kakashi mulled over the sentence imprinted on a simple bronze plaque, chewing on his third donut philosophically.

He pulled his mask down quickly to take another bite, listening to the patter of footsteps behind him. Without a noise, he waited for the attack from the boy; it seemed to happen no matter what age so far.

But it never came.

The footsteps stopped abruptly only a few feet from him. He turned after hearing the shuffling, as if Iruka was afraid of him for some reason.

Kakashi swerved at just the right moment to avoid the greater extent of the attack, but, alas, the target was still made. With a muted grunt, Iruka pushed the older ninja to the ground. Lying there for an extended period, Kakashi decided to play dead.

"I know that you're alive." Iruka said as he sat on the man's back, looking at the hair that wasn't pressed into the ground. Before he knew what he was doing, a hand reached out to brush through it and a smile graced his features when it sprung back into place. "So why won't you get up?" He leaned forward, whispering the line as if it were a song into the unresponsive man's ear.

_'I'mgoingtokillhimI'mgoingtokillhimI'mgoingto**kill**him.'_ Kakashi thought in a cycle, trying to urge his body to move to no avail. It was no surprise though, that his body jumped instinctively when there was a banging on the front door, startling the chunin who was now yawning in barely suppressed boredom.

Standing, he walked to the door and yanked it open to find the one thing that would make this morning worse. Haruno Sakura was standing on the front stoop, her fingers twiddling as Kakashi opened the door. Her mouth opened, something intelligent was bound to come out any second.

"Hur?" And one of the top students in the current age group fails in the art of the human language, deciding to fall back into her ancestral tongue.

Currently, all she saw was her sensei standing in the doorway of her other sensei's house with a pair of arms wrapped around his neck. Her mind instantly went to the first thing that connected with Kakashi, at least whenever she saw him, and she immediately acted on the instinct.

"Pervert!" She screamed while storming in, face blushing madly. Sakura stopped in the living room and turned around, pointing at Kakashi. "You come into Iruka-sensei's house and then you get together with a…a…Lady of the night!" The girl blurted out, feeling even more embarrassed at finding her teacher.

She took a deeper breath, eyes closed as to not see the half dressed whore she was sure that was hiding behind Kakashi still, "I find you a bad influence on us and I am happy that you're going away on that mission, so I can take care of little Iruka-kun when you're gone. Hopefully he isn't to far gone like you are!"

At the mention of his name, Iruka peered over the taller man's shoulder and saw the girl for the first time since she barged in. "Um… I'm pretty sure Iruka-kun can take care of himself nowadays." He said with a snort, finding a wide pair of eye focusing on him.

Sakura was speechless, for once, and stood in the middle of the room. Her hands that were balled into fists became looser and hung limply at her side. Suddenly, the gates of hell broke.

"KAWAII!"

Before Iruka knew it, he was being cuddled by the pink haired youth with Kakashi halfway across the room against the wall. He grimaced when the girl 'cooed' into his ear and hugged him tighter. Any more and he would have to do something serious about her.

The jounin yawned and slouched over, mildly interested in the teenage Iruka. Since he was still in the body of a preteen, and somehow he knew it, he was angrier at the intrusion of his space by the younger girl. At least, that's what Kakashi thought the gleam in those brown eyes was.

So before this love-fest, which Iruka seemed to not want to be involved in, started Kakashi cleared his throat. "I'm going to be leaving in a few minutes," he checked his watch and saw he was only a couple of hours late, "As you must know Sakura, you will be watching Iruka until I come back."

A sound of pleasure came from the girl's lips as she snuggled into the boy's chest. She was unaware of the evil grin passing over Iruka's features.

"But, Hatake-san?" Iruka asked innocently, plan in motion. Just for good measure he batted his eyelashes at the jounin. "Why do I have to have a babysitter whose forehead is so big?"

Sakura's eyes snapped open while a 'coo' stopped midway from her mouth. She pushed away from her past teacher and glared at him, daring him to continue. So he took it and ran.

"I'm sure you could find someone much prettier to look after me. Maybe someone older who will let me do what I want, not this little girl who would most likely play _"Shoots and Ladders"_ before doing anything fun." He pouted while sighing dramatically, hand rising to rest on his head mournfully.

And then, as if on cue, the door to their right burst open and slammed against the wall with a loud bang. When the dust settled, this took a while; a womanly figure was seen through the murkiness. It had a tail and a pair of ears, which, granted, was strange even in the village known as Konohagakure. And Konohagakure was known for a lot of different freaks in its time.

Hissing, the giant cat-woman crept closer into the light. "Kakashi, you will return what is mine." Kurenai growled, stepping over into the threshold with four-inch stiletto heels strapped onto her feet snuggly. "Or face the consequences."

When the last line was spoken in a purr, Kakashi couldn't help but shiver in fear. Whenever she got that tone it meant she was going in for the kill. With a thump, a body fell from the position over her shoulder. "I bought Asuma as a trade. I think it's pretty fair. I give you a drinking buddy and you give me the little chibi-child."

Before Kakashi could answer, it was going to involve a lot of curses, Iruka bowed slightly. "Hello, Kurenai-san. Are you going to be looking after me today?"

The jounin smiled, this is the type of respect she always wanted, and she turned to hug the little chunin only to stop. There was Iruka, twelve-year-old Iruka. The Iruka who threw gum into her hair when he was bored with it. The same Iruka who had picked up the phone when her boyfriend called and said that she was busy with "something else."

"I ever hope so! I always have such fun whenever you look after me!" He smiled and clapped his hands together in pure glee. Seeing this, Kakashi knew it was the better choice to leave Iruka with someone who he knew from when he was little. He had only met Iruka when he eighteen and just becoming a teacher's aide.

Kakashi sighed as he watched, wondering why he had to go on this mission. _'I'd much rather stay here and watch Iruka…'_ He sputtered quietly at the train of thought, _'To make sure he doesn't get in trouble! That's it!'_ The ninja nodded and smiled underneath his mask as he moved to the door.

"Well, Kurenai, you got what you wanted. I have to be going." He hadn't noticed the look of dismay that flashed across Kurenai's face. "Hope you two ladies have fun while I'm away." Kakashi then stepped out of the door, after carefully crossing over Asuma's still form, and walked into the morning dusk prior to closing the door.

* * *

It was so quiet; one could drop a pin and hear it. A muted cough broke the stillness, but a manicured hand quickly muffled it.

Iruka smiled happily, hands behind his back and surveying his prey. Er… Babysitters. He slowly began to pace back and forth in the room, picking up an object, examining it, and then placing it back onto the shelf. The motions made his pigtail move in a little dance, it would have been cute if it weren't for the circumstances.

He smiled and turned to the women, tilting his head adorably to the side. "According to Hatake-san, you both have to watch over me and make sure I don't get into trouble." The chunin's face wiped blank for a split moment, "So let's have fun, shall we?"

Kurenai swallowed deeply before going through with her next action, "Iruka, I'm older than you so you have to listen to me." The dark-haired head snapped to her, "Also, I was put in charge so that's another reason you have to listen." She glared at the smaller figure, the years of babysitting him coming back to fuel her anger.

Before Iruka could answer with a witty retort, which he had mind you, Azuma groaned and began to lift his body off of the ground. He shook his head and gazed blearily at the group, blinking as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. It was at that moment that Kurenai slammed her foot onto his back.

Iruka continued with his come back, as if nothing happened. "So it appears you are older than me… Why does that mean I have to listen to you?" He sat down onto a chair and tented his fingers while leaning back. Then he popped the question.

Not "the" question, which most girls wait for from their boyfriends, rather, the one that Kurenai did not need to hear while still dressed in a g-string. Not that she had much of a choice.

"Why are you an old hag anyway?"

Sakura, the only true teen in the room, felt a blush rise to her cheeks. _'This is definitely not what Iruka-sensei was like when he was my age, right?'_ She thought, _'He must be possessed.'_ She nodded at her scientific conclusion.

Deciding it was time to step in and stop the fight before it started and became ugly, she quickly did what her mother would do in this situation: Make food.

That is how she found herself in the kitchen. "Does anyone want some hot cocoa? I'm making some." Sakura asked, hoping that the two fighters would take the bait and wander into the adjacent room.

A few minutes later, after shutting off the shrieking teapot, the pink haired girl turned to see the two glaring at each other from across the table, again. _'This is the fifteenth time!'_ Inner-Sakura howled in agony, making Sakura shake her head in agreement at the action.

"It's ready!" She said happily, placing the cups in front of the two and taking a seat. When they continued to glare, even over the rims of the cup when taking a sip, she slammed her own cup onto the smooth surface to create something else for them to concentrate on.

"What is wrong with you people?!" She shouted, unaware of how her face was contorting in her fury. "Just stop glaring!" Sakura suddenly stopped and looked down at her hand where some cocoa had spilled. "Oh dear, I have to find a towel and clean up this mess!"

After the girl had left, Iruka turned back to Kurenai and almost had a heart attack. She was smiling. Thoroughly confused, the future chunin decided to pick his words carefully. "Why are you happy?"

Kurenai blew softly on her drink's surface, her red eyes shining brightly. "For many things, but mainly because you don't know yet." She smirked at Iruka and thought back to when she was younger. He wasn't such a bad kid; he only needed someone to make sure he stayed out of trouble.

"What don't I know?" Iruka asked, suppressed confusion leaking out despite his best efforts to keep his emotions in check.

"Everything, Iruka." But before she could continue, Sakura came jogging back into the room, breathless and without a rag in her hand.

She grinned shyly, "Excuse me, Iruka-sensei, where do you keep the towels? I haven't been here in a while I seem to have forgotten." Iruka answered quickly, "It's the second door on the left? Oh, I thought it was on the right!" And Sakura ran off. Maybe she still had enough time to clean up the mess before the cocoa left a stain.

"Why did she call me sensei? I know I'm good but I didn't think the girls were calling me teacher from behind my back." Iruka sighed and reclined into his chair, looking extremely smug.

Kurenai couldn't help it. She had tried to keep it in since she first saw Iruka, looking like the twelve year old terror most in the village remembered him as, but the way he acted! _'Just like Asuma was when I first met him… Well, at least after I beat him at a game of chess.'_ She chuckled softly at the fonder memory before her eyes snapped open in remembrance.

"Shit!"

"Where're you going?" Iruka leapt from his chair when Kurenai brushed past, her heels clicking on the kitchen tiles with every step.

When he arrived in the living room she was already at the door, Asuma slung over her shoulder like a piece of meat that was going to be weighed and quartered. She flashed a small grin, "Sorry, Iru-kun, but I've got to get this idiot home." A soft looked passed over Kurenai's face.

Iruka nodded, dumbfounded, as the woman stepped into the morning fearlessly while still dressed in a kitty-kat stripper outfit. "Don't worry. I'll come back to save you from Sakura. We'll go shopping later, cause you're definitely going to need some new clothes." The devious smirk on her face vanished when Iruka looked closer, trying to figure out if she was sick; not completely hearing the comment.

As the door closed, the boy turned when a sound alerted him of Sakura cleaning up the liquid mess. "What did she mean by that?" He asked, tugging on his clothes, which felt only a little tight to him. You didn't have to buy new clothes immediately if your old ones were getting smaller, right? It wasn't as if he was going to grow that much.

Sakura smiled and threw the towel into the sink, "Iruka-sensei, we can't have you running around in your pajamas for the next three days. I'll just have to find you something before we go out with Kurenai-san." She wasn't happy about sharing Iruka with the older woman, but it was easier if she shared him than losing him all together.

"I know just the spot to get you a quick change. Believe me, he owes you this much at least."

* * *

**End of Chapter Notes**

Done. The next chapters will be coming out soon, after I finish all of my projects and other things.

Don't worry, I'll try my best to get them done quickly.


	14. Hidden Agendas

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Naruto, though I will one day rule the world.

**Summary:**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes:**

Please. Don't. Kill. Me.

* * *

Run. Punch. Kick. Block. Lunge. Step. Dodge. Punch. Jump. Cut. 

Kakashi glanced down at the body on the ground, his expression covered by the usual fabric and a painted porcelain mask in the shape of a dog. No one had to know that the great copycat Hatake Kakashi was here to eliminate Nanashi. Plus it made him feel like he was an ANBU again.

Suddenly, he reached into his vest. Pulling out the mission scroll, he looked it over and checked off a name, replacing it quickly next to his body. It was very unprofessional if the enemy stole a scroll that said who was killing them and when.

Of course this would have been unnecessary if Kakashi had simply remembered the contents and burned the scroll like he was supposed to.

The man sighed as the sun became brighter when the cloud passed. That small cloud was the reason he was able to kill the ninja. It also meant that this mission would be over quicker than normal.

With the figure closest to Nanashi dead, Kakashi could take his time to kill the ninja who destroyed neighboring, smaller villages to Konoha. Except Kakashi didn't want to take his time. He wanted to finish this up to get back to Konohagakure. To the familiar people.

_'To Iruka.'_

Kakashi's eyes widened from behind the mask, completely halting his thought process. _'I did not just think… I'll just stop thinking.'_

What made his mind finally get back on track was the reality that it would take half a day to travel to the town where Nanashi was last seen. He had to get to that location before nightfall or he'd have to wait another day to set up the infiltration. It didn't help that Nanashi had a skilled underground network. In fact, he probably already knew that somebody was coming to try and kill him.

It was going to be a long day.

-

_'It's going to be a long day…'_ Iruka thought as he allowed the taller girl to drag him around to this mystery place. He frowned in distaste, it wasn't his fault that he was a little on the short side. But Sakura didn't have to rub it in by constantly patting him on the head and calling him, "Cute-widdle Iruka."

Iruka's face darkened, "I'm older." He muttered while pulling his hand from Sakura's. When she turned to give him a pleading stare she was met with a stubborn glare. She sighed; she thought Iruka was going to be nice like he was when he was her teacher.

"What's wrong with you" Sakura asked, hands on her hips in a basic angry girl mode. "We need to get going if we're going to get you some new clothes" She gestured to the clothing that he was currently wearing, a baggy shirt covering a pair of shorts that were held up by a particularly large belt. "It'll be fun"

The chunin growled and followed a few steps behind, the girl who was taking care of him. At least until Kurenai came back from Asuma's house. Iruka shivered when he thought about what she was doing to the older man, fearing for Asuma and what was going to happen when he woke up.

He sighed when Sakura grabbed his hand and jogged down the street, dodging the little children who were running in the other direction. "Are we there yet" Iruka whined, wanting to get rid of Sakura as soon as possible. He just had to wait for the right moment to flee from the overly possessive girl.

The pink haired female frowned at the boy following her. Correction; her teacher who was now in the body of a twelve-year-old's. _'It wouldn't be so bad if he was a little helpful.'_ She thought as she turned down a familiar road.

Stopping in front of a door, Sakura dug into her pocket and pulled out a key before slipping it into the slot and turning. "And welcome to the house of Kakashi-sensei."

The modern looking apartment was fairly clean, a few things misplaced. Sakura walked right in, placing the keys on a nearby counter. With a glance back, to make sure Iruka followed her, she bounced onto the leather couch.

"We'll be waiting here until Kurenai-san comes to find up." She sighed deeply, leaning back into the chair. "See if you can find some clothes that fit you better. I think Kakashi-sensei's room is in the back." Sakura smiled and gestured to her right, "Make sure you get some that are a little big, you might be having a growth spurt soon."

She smiled innocently while Iruka stomped away from her, his every movement screaming annoyance. Suddenly she sat up straighter, "I heard that"

Iruka continued mumbling underneath his breath as he swung open the door, slamming it behind him in a show of power. The pony tailed teenager smiled when Sakura screamed at the door. "Finally! Away from that annoying girl" He sighed and walked over to bed, stepping over the few articles of clothing that littered the floor.

With a quick twist, he landed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The boy looked pensive for a moment, strange for children of his age group, but it soon vanished when he rolled over on his side. "It would help if I knew what her name was…" He murmured as his body relaxed into the rarely used bed.

The chunin frowned as he shifted his weight, feeling a lump underneath his back. He arched his body and reached under, hand stretching to its limits with his arm at a strange angle, and grabbed the object that was annoying him. Withdrawing his hand, the boy glared at the thing he would never expect to see in an elite jounin's house, no less in his bed.

The stuffed horse stared blankly with its beady eyes at the person in front of it, the light from the window reflecting off the black glass.

Iruka glared at the plush object in his hand, wondering if this was what happened to ninja's when they hit their prime. When the horse didn't spring to life, or anything else extraordinary like that, Iruka sighed and let it flop down onto his chest. "What's a little guy like you doing in a place like this" He murmured, stroking the soft fur.

"I feel like I've seen you before…" Iruka sighed, nuzzling the plush in front of him. "As if you're something that I should remember…like that girl from before." He grinned when the fuzziness tickled his nose, quelling the urge to sneeze as he continued to cuddle the small object in front of him.

He frowned suddenly, pulling the horse away from his face to look closer at the room surrounding him. The scar across his nose crinkled when he squinted to gaze at the few reading materials scattered across the floor, or maybe he was trying to see if anyone was listening in on his conversation with the stuffed animal. He cleared his throat in an obnoxious way, to prove he knew that a person was on the other side of the wooden door.

Someone squeaked loudly outside the door and when the shuffling of feet that he had initially heard walked away, he relaxed onto the covers yet again to contemplate the gaps and feelings of familiarity that he felt every time he met a new person. "I want Kakashi-san back…" He muttered unaware of the words leaving his lips.

Iruka's eyes snapped to their fullest when his brain grasped what he had just said. The chunin, though much smaller than he used to be, still had his unique ability to blush bright red. So he sighed, held his breath, and allowed his face to change its shades rapidly.

He hated when that happened.

Good thing that only Haiku was watching him. Iruka snuggled the horse fiercely, hiding his face in the short fur. He sighed and sniffled, moving so that he was lying on his back and staring at the blank, white ceiling.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be babbling on like this…"

When the animal didn't respond, which wasn't strange at all, Iruka closed his eyes in contemplation. He felt his breathing slow down in relaxation as his body prepared to go to sleep, eyelids refusing to lift back up. The stuffed toy fell off his chest and onto the bed when he rolled over to put his arm underneath his head to cushion it.

He didn't hear the door creak as it opened slowly, too caught up in his sleepy daze to recognize the danger that he had allowed himself to be put in. The only witness to the approaching peril was Haiku, but, alas, he was only a stuffed horse and could not do anything except stare as the person crept forward.

A pair of red eyes stared greedily down at the sleeping child, hands flexing away the urge to pinch the slightly flushed cheeks. With one fluid movement, while biting tongue, the figure scooped the chunin into their arms and against their chest. As a second thought, they moved to pick up the stuffed horse.

Unfortunately, this involved much moving since the plush animal had rolled off the bed and onto the floor, because of this the person cursed at their stroke of bad luck. After grabbing the horse, they sighed. At least their prize didn't wake up.

Iruka stirred slightly at the change in position, causing the mysterious figure to stop breathing for a moment. When he resumed sleeping, the figure made their way to the window. If they were going to do it, they had to do it so no on could follow their tracks.

Even if it involved jumping out a window.

Pausing for a moment, to open the escape route and adjust the person in front of them, the thief flicked away a few strands of black hair that had fallen into their eyes. That was the reason they wanted to get it cut, stupid hair trying to foil their kid napping… Rescuing.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she looked around the kitchen one more time. Everything was the same; nothing had sprouted legs and walked off. She glanced suspiciously at the plant in the corner of the room, a post-it with the words; "Mr. Ukki-chan" stuck to the ceramic pottery. That was the only thing that unnerved her just a little bit. 

Not that she was scared of the plant. No, it was quite the opposite. It was just…a little unnerving. Who names a plant? It's not like they respond to it. Maybe Kakashi-sensei was crazy and this was his only companion in his life.

She giggled at that. Kakashi-sensei, reading his old man books to this little, innocent plant. It was like something from a soap opera. _'Not that we watch them.'_ Sakura's inner-self reminded, her stern, no nonsense face, already in place.

The pink haired girl sighed, playing with her tea cup. This was boring. She sighed again, hoping to spice things up. Nope…It was still boring. She stretched in her chair and happened to look into the living room, just happening to see a television.

"If Kakashi-sensei isn't here to watch his television," She rationalized to herself, and her inner-self, aloud, "Then I should watch it for him. I mean, he's paying all this money, and someone should enjoy it if he's away." She nodded, "It's my duty as a Konohagakure genin."

So, Sakura settled in front of the television and switched it on with the remote, thinking that Iruka was still in the other room. Luckily the newest episode of "The Ninja and the Ninja-ess" was coming on next.

Not that she cared.

"I don't really enjoy these shows." She muttered to herself as the credits rolled across the screen against the background of the sea. "Who needs to know about the lives of ninja's and how they never are allowed to love and…" The girl drifted off as the screen went blank, revealing a lone woman in the middle of the screen.

Thewoman blinked, her blue and green eye brimming with tears, "I wish he would stay, for me. Why does he have to save the world? Why can't he just stay with me? I would be happy then, and the world would go on for us." As she finished her statement, Sakura snorted.

The genin leaned back in the chair, "What ninja would give up their job to stay with you. She isn't even that pretty." She grumbled, turning to glance at the clock. When she turned back to the screen, which was now showing a man hugging the woman, something was on the ground. An object that she couldn't quite identify. She shrugged, thinking it was only a huge dust bunny, but then it moved.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Sakura yelled, loud enough to scare the thing near the t.v., but not loud enough to alert anyone nearby. She pulled her feet onto the couch as the thing moved even more, beginning to fear for her life.

A pug stared at her with sad eyes; a Konoha headband tied around its head, and cocked its head to the side at her reaction. It panted and stood up slowly, little legs moving in a quick burst of speed so it could jump up onto the couch. It grunted slightly at the effort, collapsing onto a pillow located nearby, and closed its eyes in a moment of relaxation.

The girl could feel her defenses crumbling when the squashed face looked at her again, no longer fearing the dog that wasn't even up to her shin. "You're so cute!" Sakura gushed suddenly, sweeping the startled dog into an embrace.

A whimper was all the dog could do before it was attacked in the hug, squirming was also an option but the girl knew exactly what to do to immobilize her prey. Must have been learned from all those times she stalked Sasuke. "Aww, Kakashi-sensei never told me about his cute-widdle puppy that needs cuddles when he's away." Sakura said; turning back to the t.v. with the dog firmly secured in her arms.

"Did you come out because you want to watch a show with me?" She continued; unaware of the withering look directed at her currently. "You're lucky you came out when you did. The show's about to get to the best part."

As she finished her phrase, a scream erupted from the television as if it knew that it now had the complete attention of the room's occupants. The woman, from the opening scene, was now kneeling in front of a person who they could assume was the emperor in this series.

"I know that you wish for me to marry him, but I cannot. I do not love him, and that would be the greatest sin of all, to marry and not love your other." She said firmly, silent tears streaming down the sides of her face.

Sakura herself sniffled at the show of emotion, hugging the dog tighter, "Her name's Shiro." She gestured to the emperor, his face as still as stone, "He's evil, you don't have to know his name."

Pakkun sighed in her arms, wondering what he did to deserve this. _'I only came out to get something to eat, damn Kakashi leaving me to starve as he goes off on another mission.'_ A mental growl followed this thought.

"I agree; he should die!" Sakura continued happily on, watching her soap opera with no idea that this was a jutsu dog, or that he was trying to escape. "But if he died, there would be nothing to hold back Shiro from him."

Her eyes glazed over for a moment when a young man walked onto the screen, his body covered from head to toe in black with only his upper half of his face showing, "That's Herro." Her voice became breathy and light as the man moved across the screen to kneel in front of the other seated man.

"He's a ninja who's under the evil control of the emperor, like Shiro, but all he wants to do is settle down with her." Her shoulders lowered as she sighed outwardly, joy in her every movement. "I wish I could meet him…"

"Why don't you watch this drivel alone then, and let me go?"

Sakura felt the body in her arms increase its struggling at the phrase, confirming that it was, indeed, the dog that spoke. The dog. That spoke. A pug, which was speaking as if he were a normal person.

"I thought the plant was bad!" Sakura moaned, dropping the dog roughly onto the ground. More like threw, but she didn't fell like taking count of those little details. "Now I have to deal with a talking dog! This is turning into a really bad cartoon version of my life!" The young ninja pulled her hands down her face, ignoring the bored look from the small dog.

Said dog shrugged mentally and wandered off into the kitchen, content with knowing that the girl would probably follow him to see where he was going. "Stupid humans' always watching dumb shows and forgetting all about the pets and their needs."

Sakura stumbled after the muttering animal, wondering if this was really Kakashi-sensei's dog. _'I don't think I should have come here, with Iruka or not'_ She thought, drifting back to the younger looking boy that she left in the bedroom. _'He's probably sleeping right now, thinking about how he's going to repay me for saving him from Kakashi-sensei and Kurenai-san.'_

For a moment, the vision of the present Iruka loomed in front of her, his face blushing beet read as he tried to stammer out his childhood crush on her. Cherry blossoms fell down, surrounding them both, when a gust blew. The schoolyard was quiet, everyone else had gone home, and even the teachers had left.

The genin sighed, but then snapped herself out of that daydream, remembering that Iruka was one of those teachers, and that he would soon be changing back into that adult. "A girl can dream." She said firmly to herself, clenching her fists at her side.

"Well, dogs can too. And this one is dreaming of some food, so get over here." A voice came from the tiled kitchen, whining almost in badly contained excitement. A dog was a dog, even if it did know how to talk.

Sakura picked up the pace slightly, moving quicker to the kitchen to feed the animal, which, when she walked into the room, was lying on its side and playing dead. With a scoff underneath her breath, she moved over to the refrigerator and pulled it open.

"Kakashi-sensei doesn't feed you people food, does he?" Sakura asked uncertainly as she looked into the fridge and finding nothing that even resembled food. There was something blue and fuzzy, which she started to reach for, but then stopped. To her knowledge, nothing edible was that shade of a brilliant blue.

As an extra precaution she wiped her hand on her dress.

The pug looked over at her sideways, too busy with scratching behind his ear to pay full attention to her, and his tongue lolled out. "That bastard usually doesn't let me out of the seal; much less let me eat people food. Nah, there's some canned stuff in that counter."

He jerked his head in a general direction, Sakura sighing in relief. No one deserved to eat the food found in Kakashi's house, no one. She slammed the fridge door closed and moved over to the counter, popped it open, and found, terrifyingly, neat rows of dog food cans filling the whole shelf.

"Kakashi-baka gets them filled every Saturday by the store, just in case one of us feels like hanging out for a while." Pakkun explained, waddling over to the girl at his slow gait. His grin said that this happened often enough for there to be an entire shelf devoted to the feeding of said dogs.

"Course he keeps us here in case someone tries to break in when he's away on a mission." The pug said, swallowing mouthfuls of the food that was still in the shape the canister that it was in.

Sakura could feel the fear creep into her thoughts as she slumped into the kitchen's lone chair. _'That dog says it so easily, it must have happened before.'_ She thought, turning to look out the window that was letting in the afternoon light, eyes widening, '_Someone could come in that window right now and…And have there way with me!'_

With her imagination in overdrive, and her inner self not helping in any way, Sakura allowed her thoughts to go wild. A shiver went up her spine at thinking about what horrible deeds could be done to her young flesh. _'And they wouldn't know that I'm here, because I'm supposed to have no class, since Kakashi-sensei is on a mission. No one would hear my screams.'_

The girl shook her head while whimpering in a strangled voice, clearing these thoughts from her head. "Nothing can hurt me, not even a scary, named plant. I'm in a jounin's house and it's not like any of his enemies know where he lives." The minute she said it, a knock echoed through the house from the door.

She stiffened, slowly rising from her chair, precautious of the sound, "If I don't answer the door, the person will go away, and I'll just tell Kakashi-san that when he was gone that a visitor came but they left before I could find out who they were." Sakura nodded, happy with her hushed response.

The images which she had cooked up, involving her against a band of assassins that were running from the law, came back at her full speed, sending a blush to her face and almost causing her to swoon.

"Or you could go answer the door, like a civilized person?" Pakkun suggested helpfully from the floor, the folds in his forehead drawing together in confusion at the girl, glancing up from the floor from his bowl while licking his chomps. With that said, and his little mind not functioning properly when so close to food, he dove back into the half full bowl that was currently in front of him.

This time the knocking came louder while becoming more insistent. The genin tensed even more, if that were possible, and she walked robotically over to the door. She hesitated when it came to lifting her hand to actually touch the knob, stopping a few mere inches from the polished surface. "Should I be doing this?" She whispered, pushing her pink hair back with her other hand, "I just know something bad is going to happen."

At that moment, when she reached forward, the door burst open from its hinges and someone stood, silhouetted, in the middle of the hallway.

"Never fear, the amazing Anko is here!"

* * *

**End of Chapter Notes:**

Yes, I know, you people are still going to kill me even though I asked you not to. The truth is, no excuses, you should kill me. I haven't been working at all on the computer and then I got myself in trouble so I'm not allowed to even go on this site. Ah, my life is wonderful, is it not?

But if you guys get my reviews up to 95, I might be able to do something about getting the next chapter out quicker.


	15. Party Time

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Naruto, but I use the characters for evil

**Summary:**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes:**

Ugh... I don't feel well. I hope I feel better for AP exams, that would be great. Due to my exams being in the next few weeks, and meaning that the important ones will be over by then, the next chapter might come out in under a month. Isn't that just "spectacular, spectacular"?

This chapter, I feel, is not my greatest work.

Ugh... I don't feel well.

* * *

Sakura could actually feel her eye twitch as she stared at the jounin in front of her, currently standing halfway through the door, her mind going blank at the sudden appearance. Only when Pakkun bumped into the back of her leg did she snap out of her trance.

She stepped forward slightly, careful to keep her distance from the trigger-happy woman. "Excuse me, Anko-san, why are you in Kakashi-sensei's house while he's away on a mission?" She asked, trying to make it sound as if she really didn't care for the answer, but on the inside she was screaming for a response.

Anko looked to the left and right for a few moments, wide grin set on her features, and sauntered into the house with her hands on her hips. She kicked her sandals off at the door merrily; doing a little gig when one wouldn't come off immediately.

As she walked past Sakura, Anko allowed her gaze to travel around the apartment and the lack there of the jounin who owned the said apartment. She smirked, eyes flashing as she turned back to the girl, "I was just wondering where Kakashi was." Her eyes narrowed even more as she smiled wider, her grin looking like that of a Cheshire cat's.

Sakura pouted and closed the door, stepping over the small pug when it didn't move quick enough out of her way. "He's on a mission." She said cautiously, moving past the woman to reach for the spare set of keys that were on the counter. With them in her grasp she felt a little better.

"That's great!" Anko exclaimed while rubbing her hands together, "Now we can have some fun!" The jounin ran into the kitchen, pulling out bowls and other assorted objects from the cabinets.

The pink haired girl stuttered for a moment as the woman continued to dart around the room, trying to follow her every move to make sure she didn't break anything. "What are you doing?" She finally asked, when Anko ripped open a bag of forks, the plastic utensils scattering over the counter.

Sakura sighed, blowing up at the strands of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. She tried a different approach, "What are you doing in Kakashi-sensei's house?" She asked again while Anko began to sort the eating utensils.

The jounin stopped for a moment with a spoon halfway to the table in her hand, a mask of concentration settling over her features for a moment. "A mutual agreement." Anko said, resuming her organizing. When she saw Sakura start to hyperventilate she wandered over to the genin, patting the pink haired girl on the head. "Don't' worry, it'll be fun!"

Before Sakura could ask exactly what was going to be so much fun, Anko had already punched her in the face, effectively knocking her out.

* * *

"Why the hell did you bring him here?" A voice screamed with the sound of sputtering coming slightly before. They were probably just caught off guard.

A snort. "I wasn't going to bring him to my place. If you wanted him someplace else, you should have gotten him." A shuffling of fabric followed this statement.

"He was being held captive! I was doing this for Iruka-sensei's own good!"

At mention of his name, brown colored eyes opened slowly to, yet again, stare at a ceiling that was foreign to him. Iruka began to stretch only to find his arms and legs tied to the bed, which in turn were tied to the bedposts. He sighed and looked around the room, to try and figure out the purpose of his capture.

Besides a rather large pile of ramen cups scattered around the room, and the fact his captors decided to bring the stuffed horse, Iruka had absolutely nothing to base his capture on. Except that he was thankful for the aided escape from that girl, whatever her name was.

Iruka shook his head and began to work on his wrists. Twisting them back and forth, the straps, which were really only ripped bed sheets, loosened enough for the teenager to wriggle one hand free. With that free, the rest of the "bondage" was no problem.

Just as he began to get up from the bed, with the stuffed horse tucked underneath one arm, the door opened to reveal a shadowy figure.

Then the figure turned on the light, to reveal those kids!

The people that he saw at Ichiraku! The blonde kid that was always jumping around with that angry-angst kid right next, well, behind, him. He didn't look that happy to be there, truth be told.

"See? Now he knows who did it and he'll tell Kakashi-sensei." Dark eyes narrowed, "Dobe."

Naruto shrugged, smacking the taller boy next to him, and ran into the room. Landing next to Iruka, with a slight bounce of the mattress, he grinned widely. "Hey, Iruka-sensei! We," Another glare from the pale boy, "Well, Sasuke. All that matters is that we saved you!"

The blonde nodded rapidly, as if only a string attached his head, and leaned onto the unresponsive chunin sitting next to him. When nothing happened, blue eyes opened and stared up at the face, which was so familiar but so different.

"What wrong, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, poking the teen in the side. He sighed in confusion when the older teen did nothing in reply. "Do you think we killed him?" He asked, cocking his head to Sasuke.

The Uchiha, moving through the filth that was known as Naruto's room, stopped near the foot of the bed. "He probably figured out what that smell was." He stated nonchalantly, crossing his arms.

Naruto snarled quietly and scrunched up his nose at Sasuke, daring him to continue. When he didn't, the fox turned back to his teacher only to find him lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Leaning over him, Naruto quickly jumped back.

"Sasuke, Iruka-sensei's looking really weird…" He muttered; pointing at the prone form sprawled on his bed. The clothing, which was still too big, having come from Kakashi's closet, lay next to him on the mattress, the pants barely staying on even with the belt. But that wasn't what Naruto was talking about; it was the fact that the chunin wasn't even moving from his current position, only breathing steadily in and then out.

The dark haired boy sighed, thinking that Naruto was overacting, and moved closer to the bed. Looking over Iruka, he decided that he appeared all right until he looked at the teen's eyes. The pupil was dilated so much that the iris was barely seen, a result of induced shock, if Sasuke recalled correctly.

As Sasuke reached out to touch the boy, he suddenly drew back.

Naruto, who had been almost to the door, trying to sneak out and save his burning ramen, turned at the sound of a squeak back into the room. He began to laugh, knowing that it had to have been Sasuke, but stopped mid-chuckle.

There was a sex god in his room. And he was sprawled out on his bed.

* * *

Sakura grimaced as she came to, rubbing at her head with a free hand. The girl rolled onto her side, staring at the wall for a moment before setting her feet gently on the carpeted floor. She vaguely noticed that music was coming from somewhere in the apartment, but her attention was focused on something else for the moment.

He was gone.

Sakura gazed silently at the bed she had been lying on, at the spot next to her where the older ninja was supposed to be. But he wasn't. The area where she had left him angrily brooding was even cool, telling her that Iruka had left a while before Anko dropped her in here.

Anko. The same Anko who had walked into Kakashi-sensei's apartment unannounced. The same, very evil, Anko that had punched her in the face.

Sakura growled and pushed off the bed so she was standing, her posture screaming anger. With her mind set on only one thing, she moved toward the door to grab the knob. Turning it, she opened the door to possibly the strangest thing: A teacher's party.

They didn't even cast a second glance to the girl wandering past them, the teacher's whose faces were already turning red from sake and other things. Sakura felt her own face changing a few shades when the school nurse, who was normally very quite and was barely seen, only when she was needed to patch up a student, stumbled across her path dressed in only her underwear.

Sakura blushed even further when the kindergarten teacher ran after the nurse, his hands in grope mode. Deciding that it was time to move closer to the front door, maybe it was less lust driven up there, Sakura moved cautiously through the throngs of intoxicated people.

The pink-haired girl stepped over a man, who she thought looked hazily like her old kunai teacher, and scuttled into the kitchen, slimly missing another falling body. Sakura then found the person who was responsible for all of this. And right now they were preparing another round of drinks while humming happily.

"Anko-san." Sakura said, stalking into the kitchen to sit on the counter. "Why are you here?" She continued, feet banging on the counters underneath her. "Kakashi-sensei's not going to like this."

The woman looked up from filling cups with a dark liquid, a cracker in her mouth. Chewing it quickly, and swallowing just as fast, Anko straightened to her full height, "Hello, little child." She said, rubbing her tongue against her teeth. "What are you doing up so early?"

Not listening for an answer, she picked up the tray of glasses she was preparing and walked past the fuming girl. Getting rid of them on the end table, she waltzed back to find the genin glaring at her still. "Oh, you're still here?" Anko sighed and grabbed another bowl, set on filling it with chips.

"Of course I'm still here." Sakura huffed, crossing her arms and staring at the woman in front of her opening up another bag of food. When she was ignored, she slid off the surface and peeked into the living room.

She tittered nervously and turned back to Anko, "Did anyone leave?" Sakura asked, moving back into the tiled area, away from the party and its accompanying noises.

Anko shrugged, "If somebody did, they'd have to have been really stealthy, because I haven't seen a person leave this place since I started inviting them over." She smiled and took a swig from the sake bottle next to her, "The only thing I've seen is people coming in."

Sakura frowned. "Do you know if Kurenai-san is going to be coming?" The girl asked while moving closer into the kitchen, trying to avoid being seen by any of the teacher who were still celebrating who knows what.

Anko chuckled darkly, opening up a cabinet to grab a few more glasses. Who knew Kakashi had so many? "Kurenai always shows up, sooner or later." She laughed even more, "One of these days I'm going to finally get her and Asuma hooked up." The woman turned and regarded the girl in front of her. "But you didn't hear any of that."

"Yeah, sure we didn't." A voice responded from the floor.

The two ninjas looked down at the pug on the ground, his squashed face trying to look menacing. With a sigh he waddled over to Anko, snorting.

"I think it's about time one of you fed the dog." He continued, wagging the stump of his tail. "Eating is something essential for living, and I love living."

The jounin, taking another drink, pulled open the refridgerator and threw a dish down at the animal. "God, you get more and more bitchy every time I come here." Anko smirked, nudging at the pug with her foot.

Sakura watched this strange interaction, fear growing during each second that passed. The Anko that she knew, from rumors and basic contact, was never this calm, collected, or quiet. The last thing was one of the biggest things.

So she backed slowly out the door, waiting for Anko to explode in her strange exuberance, and into the throbbing mass that was the party. Except that she backed into something hard. Not hard enough to be considered wood, but hard enough to obviously be a body.

Sakura turned her head slowly, dreading whatever drunken teacher she had bumped into, and was surprised to find it be the person who she had just been talking about.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Asuma said, looking down at the girl in front of him. "I didn't think you were allowed here." He smiled and a large hand landed on Sakura's shoulder, "I'll make sure none of these other guys can get ya', they sometimes get testy after they've had a few drinks."

The pink-haired girl nodded, happy that one of the teachers wasn't drunk, and hoped that this meant that someone else was going to be coming soon.

Anko had said they were a couple, and couples were never seen long without the other half. At least, that's how it was supposed to be.

* * *

Kakashi sighed as he moved closer to his destination, keeping track of the time in his head. It was slowly bordering on midnight and that meant he had only a small window of opportunity to get inside the sheltered community that Nanashi had taken as his home base for a few months.

The ninja paused in his tree, taking in his surroundings before he moved any further. No one seemed to be awake in the complex, which made things easier, but it also made it appear even more so like a trap. Choosing his branches carefully, the copy ninja moved closer to the main house.

Within a few minutes, he was inside the lushly furnished home, placing his feet on the thick carpet. Kakashi crept slowly along the hallway, feeling his way through the darkness to the room that he had remembered the precise location for.

Slipping inside, he smiled at the two sleeping forms in the bed. _'Nanashi is getting to comfortable for his own good, thinking he can just sleep of the things he's done.'_ Kakashi thought, moving in slower now, careful of each step he put down.

With a swift cut upwards, the ninja killed both figures, fulfilling the mission assigned to him. He relaxed slightly, about to begin his journey back to the village, but stopped as someone made their way down to the room.

Kakashi felt his breath still as a child, who looked only about four, stumbled into the room. He looked exactly like Iruka, only slightly taller, if that was possible, and his hair was cut almost to his ear length.

With a yawn, the Iruka look-alike walked into the bedroom, dragging a stuffed bear behind him. He pulled on the blankets to the newly assassinated man, not knowing that he was dead and that he wasn't going to get a response.

"Daddy." A whimper. "I'm scared." The child continued to tug on the blanket, causing a hand to roll off the edge. Taking this as a lifeline, the boy grabbed onto the limb and rubbed his head against it.

Kakashi could feel his body refusing to move, refusing to complete the task. He had to kill everyone associated with Nanashi. Even if they were his children.

Stepping from the shadows, Kakashi crept over to the child. But before he could deliver the killing blow, however, the child turned around.

He smiled up at the man in front of him, letting go of his father's hand to turn around fully. "Hello, puppy." He giggled, dropping his bear to hold up both arms to be picked up. "What are you doing with daddy and mommy?"

Keeping silent was the best path to take at the moment, so Kakashi didn't move; show emotion, when the child ran over to him. He didn't twitch as the child hugged his legs in utter ignorance of what was going to happen to him. The ninja with the dog mask allowed the child a last comfort.

Before ending it.

* * *

Wow, you guys really responded to my request for my 95 reviews. I, inall honesty, didn't beleive that you would.

Now, to just prove that I'm a bastard, I'm going to ask you all for my review count ot go up to 125. Because I'm lazy, so the slower that count goes up, the less I have to work on this.

Yay! Ugh... I feel sick.

Bye.


	16. Party Quirks

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Don't kill me, please? I tried to do this chapter really, really quick to make you guys happy. I set a goal for me: GET WORK DONE IN A WEEK. Then I kept getting more and more work, it just wouldn't stop. And then Plastic Ponies was bumped down the list of importance. I was trying to not write.

And yes, I find clipping my toenails more important than writing...

* * *

The shirt, which had been so baggy when Iruka was in the body of a twelve year old, was stretched tight over the newly developed chest. The hard surface rose and fell in a slow rhythm as the now older chunin stared upwards, bored expression slapped onto his face. He sighed, pulling at the pair of slacks that were dangerously low on his hips, lying on the bed in the strange position they had managed to move a few inches lower.

Sasuke stared at his now older teacher, feeling the gears turning in his head to fight the blush spreading over his features. He moved slowly back, away from Iruka, as if the added space would help him gain control again. He didn't notice Naruto until the blond was almost on top of him.

"I forgot…"

The black haired boy turned, surprised at the murmured thought, and promptly choked at the sight of Naruto.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed, he looked as if he was ready to jump the chunin. "I forgot how sexy Iruka-sensei was!" He drooled happily, clasping his hands in excitement, "Last time I saw him at this age I couldn't properly appreciate it, but now I won't let this chance get away from me!"

It was only at that moment that Sasuke, horrified, saw that he was in the exact path Naruto planned on taking to get to Iruka.

Suddenly torn between warning Iruka, who was still staring blankly at the wall directly in front of him, and saving himself from the salivating Naruto, who was coming closer, Sasuke compromised. With a few seals and a well-placed sharingan skill, the Uchiha went through with his; suicidal in his mind, plan.

Naruto blinked when smoke filled the room, halting his movement to wait for visibility to return to him. His ears twitched slightly as something moved behind him, causing him to turn and face the threat.

"Sasuke?" He asked, shifting closer to the sound, "Is that you? Cause if it is, I'm gonna kill you!"

The kitsune backed up slightly when a sneeze echoed through the rooming, moving to a more defensive spot in the corner of the room. His eyes darted to the bed and took in Iruka's still form. _'Now's my chance.'_ Naruto thought to himself, moving back towards the bed, forgetting all about the mysterious smoke accompanied by a sneeze.

Standing next to the chunin, hand out reached to touch him, Naruto was shocked when he noticed Iruka staring directly at him. "I'd look behind you." Iruka spoke for the first time in his new body, using a tenor voice only a touch higher than his usual tone. It was also tinged with a touch of, no other way to say it, manliness.

Naruto blatantly ignored the words spoken to him, simply staring at his smiling teacher's mouth as he talked. He was about to turn into a puddle of blonde happiness, who wouldn't if a nineteen-year-old Iruka talked to them? But was jerked back into reality when a hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

Turning slowly, Naruto quickly tried to think of who knew where he lived. _'Kakashi-sensei was here but then he ran off to do his mission. Damn teleporting bastard.'_ He finished, scowling as his hands tightened into fists at his side. _'It's probably that idiot coming back.'_ An evil smile, _'So I'll hit sensei before he hits me!'_ Naruto nodded at his logic and finished his turn quickly, swinging his fists-

To almost hit another sex god.

* * *

"I haven't seen Kurenai yet, Anko." Sakura had started to drop the end titles when Anko had danced on the kitchen tables with another teacher. Then again, it might have been when the woman had tried to get Sakura into a group of people giving belly shots. She was only twelve, for gods' sake.

All that really mattered was: She dropped the titles.

Anko looked up from her structure of cheese, placing down another block of orange before straightening and brushing her hands on her vest. "Stop worrying, Saku-chan!" Her nickname for the genin, "Kurenai will show up, late as usual, dragging Asuma in after her, as usual."

Sakura grunted angrily, her arms crossed in silent meditation. The moment she had met Asuma-san, well, since he had found her, he had simply seemed to be enjoying the party for all its worth. In fact, Kurenai was nowhere to be seen, considering that the one jounin was almost never seen without the other.

The genin sighed through her slightly parted lips, looking through the open doorway to where the older man was currently. _'It would help if he didn't dance with Hiashi-sensei the entire night.'_ Sakura glared at the pair of adults, the woman with red hair, who was the girl's edict teacher, cuddled up closely against the smoking jounin.

"Oh… I see." Anko said, looking over her shoulder into the main living room, noticing immediately what was wrong with the girl. "Don't worry." She began, sloshing back another shot of something, "I'll make sure to get them together. In fact, now that I think about it, I believe I could use your help."

Sakura perked with interest, the adult's usually never let her help in anything. "What is it that I can do?" She asked, hesitant, suddenly remembering who this was. The pink haired girl was so involved that she forgot her real reason for searching for Kurenai, to inform the jounin of the missing Iruka.

Anko chuckled darkly, "Help me make the greatest love there ever was in Konoha."

* * *

It was a half hour, maybe forty minutes, when Kurenai sauntered into the apartment building. Sakura felt herself suck in a huge breath, feeling like this party was soon going to become a land mine. She felt like a person casted for a role in a play.

In a way, she was.

Every ninja at the party, sober or a little less than sober, had their own little part to play. Before Kurenai arrived, Anko had gone around and explained the situation to everyone, save Asuma and his date. No one argued; it was a well-known fact that ninjas, while notorious for their stealth skills and information gathering, were also infamous for their curiosity involving romance.

This might have been because many of the ninja's were single. It was a hard life to lead, and many of them weren't keen on leading another down the path to death. Or it might have been simpler, like they were all nosey as hell.

Any who, Sakura was expecting Kurenai to come through the door alone, and she was sorely surprised. She was betting on it, but when the woman walked through the door with another man on her arm, Sakura was beginning to panic.

With a glance at Anko, sitting at the table with no tension at all with the new element to the equation, Sakura also relaxed. So she went forward with her first part of the mission, now playfully named by the others: Red Eyed Smoker.

"Hello, Kurenai-san!" Sakura said happily, moving out from the group of strategically dancing people to stop in front of the older woman. "Anko had told me that you would soon be coming."

Kurenai raised one fine eyebrow, regarding the child in front of her. "Yes? And?" She shifted so that she was more firmly pressed against the male. A hand snuck out to hang on the man's shoulder, creating a more stable form for Kurenai to lean on.

It's not that he wasn't hot, that would be an understatement, but he just seemed _wrong_ with Kurenai. The ninja shifted so that the woman could fit into his side, and he was a ninja, judging from the leaf headband wrapped around his bicep.

Suddenly, Sakura remembered who this man was. How his face had seemed so familiar, even though she had never formally talked to him. He was one of the chunin who were constantly running around the mission room, in fact, he had handed the team their last mission.

"Excuse me," Sakura began, her hands threaded behind her back in a casual pose, "But aren't you…Hayao-san?" She tested out the name, nodding when it matched the man in front of her.

Bright, green eyes narrowed as the man smiled, nodding along with Sakura for a moment afterwards. His hair, which was a jet-black color, stuck out in strange places but then it was also plastered down also. He was a nice enough guy, but he still didn't fit with Kurenai.

And that was something that every ninja partying was prepared to fix. They didn't want to devastate the chunin, but if he could just find another lover more suitable for him, say a certain edict teacher.

So Sakura began to put the plan in action.

"I hear that Asuma-san is also here." Sakura noted in what she hoped was a nonchalant manner, glancing over to the side at the hoard of ninja. "He was dancing with Hiashi-sensei. Aren't they such a cute couple?" She sighed and looked over at the couple in the living room, leaning on each other for support.

Anko choose that moment to fulfill her supporting role, wandering into the hallway with a platter of empty cups balanced skillfully. "Oh, Kurenai, what a pleasant surprise! We were expecting you!" She placed her burden lightly on the counter, clapping her hands after being relieved of the object.

"What are you planning?" Kurenai growled, letting go of her date to move over to the younger ninja. "Something is rotten in here-"

Sakura laughed nervously, "It might be the dip. Kakashi-sensei forgets how old things are in his refridgerator and he leaves them there." She supplied, laughing in a sudden higher pitch. The genin picked up the platter of dip, ignoring the protests from the adults eating from it, and dumped it in the sink.

"It's always the dip." Anko sighed while making a gesture behind her back to the waiting ninja. "I should have checked it but, you know, in the insanity of planning a party in fifteen minutes…"

Before she could continue with her elaborate lie, she felt it was going well, Anko stopped as a presence flared behind her. Turning, while keeping her guard up, she was met with the sight of Asuma throwing back another shot of sake.

Sakura, who had been happy to see the bearded teacher sober, only an hour ago, was shocked when Asuma downed a whole bottle of the pale green liquid. She swallowed hard when Genma moved into place, about to play his part in the master plan. The genin struggled to stop him, to try and halt his next words, but it was all in vain since Genma never stopped _anything_ he started.

"Let's dance!" He screamed, earning howls of agreement from the neighboring ninja who were sitting on the sidelines waiting for this request.

Kurenai looked around wildly, confusion in her eyes, before she was shoved into the fray of moving limbs that consisted of every ninja teacher in the village.

The red-eyed teacher growled, pushing a girl away who was laughing drunkenly at the crowd and then slammed her mouth against a man, making the woman cringe away. "Anko! What the hell are you trying to do? You damn whore! Get over here and tell me!"

The ninja in question looked over from the other side of the room, shaking her head in faked deafness. "Hur, Kurenai? I can't here you over this slamming music!" Suddenly she was standing next to the red-eyed woman, an arm slung companionably around the taller woman's shoulder.

"Have you seen Asuma? I lost him when Genma wanted everyone to dance." She said, sighing. "I'm sure he won't get into trouble, but if you could just leave your date…Oh!" Anko covered her mouth in mock horror, "It seems you can go find Asuma for me."

Kurenai followed her eyes, sputtering when she found Hayao talking to a group of women, each listening to him in avid fascination. He did seem a little uncomfortable, chuckling nervously, but it didn't look as if he could get away from the hoard of women. "Why do I have to find Asuma? Why can't you?"

"It's my party, I just can't leave!" Anko said, pushing Kurenai in a direction that led outside. "There are some guests outside, so don't kill him when you find him. I'll get in trouble if I wake up the neighbors!" She yelled, sliding the door closed behind Kurenai before she could object.

_'Little slut. I'm going to kill her after I find Asuma and get him away from that hussy!'_ She halted, near a table filled with refreshments, and grabbed a drink. _'I'm doing it for his protection. I've had to look out for him since we were kids; of course I'm going to feel a bit defensive.'_ Kurenai nodded and drained her drink, still looking for the cloud of smoke that showed where Asuma was. So she searched, her mind still lingering on her last thought.

Surprisingly, Kurenai found Asuma in the swing seat that Kakashi had received from a grateful town when he solved their water crisis. He wasn't alone; she cursed quietly, but was sitting with the red haired woman.

And he wasn't smoking.

Kurenai stopped for a moment, shock holding her in place, before quickly ducking behind a well-placed table. Ninja parties were always designed with hiding in mind, must be their "always on edge" sense of keeping alive. Physically and socially.

She peeked over the top of the table, using her ultra ninja skills to spy on the two. "What are they doing?" She whispered, trying to move closer but not finding anywhere else to hide behind. "Whatever it is, Asuma doesn't look that happy."

In fact, Asuma looked like he was going to keel over any minute, leaning on the woman as if she were his last lifeline. His face was pale, very unusual for the man who went outside in the sun during this time of the year, and he looked like he was in incredible pain, wincing every few seconds.

_'She killed him! That bitch killed Asuma! That's my job!'_ Reassured of what was happening, she was hurting Asuma, Kurenai strode from behind her hiding place, ready to deal with the woman who was trying to stea-hurt Asuma.

"Hello, Asuma." She blinked, figuring out who this woman was, she had worked with her, "Why, hello, Hiashi." She smiled sweetly, hiding her nervous tick from the two ninjas in front of her.

Hiashi looked up from Asuma, her eyes wide, and stuttered when she saw whom it was. "Kurenai-san! I didn't hear you come outside. Asuma isn't doing well…" She drifted off, squeaking when Asuma slumped over into her lap. "I think it might have been from him eating something weird."

The older woman bent over, lifting an eyelid and letting it drop when all she saw was the white eyeball. "Really? When did he have a smoke last?" Kurenai asked nonchalantly, wincing when she heard the man's name with out a title at the end, ignoring the pout from Hiashi as she touched her date.

"He gave up smoking for me, it's not proper for someone to smoke while on a date." The red head said happily, pulling the limp body back over to her. "Also, I wasn't going to go out with him, so he stopped to make me happy." She said firmly, reminding Kurenai that she didn't come here with Asuma like she usually did.

"Right." The jounin said, unimpressed with the details of their meeting. "I'm going to take him home. He's sick and it's probably from that last mission he came back from." She jerked Asuma out of the other's arms and gently lifted him, "Why don't you go back inside and let me deal with this problem. I doubt you could bring him home, if you knew where it was."

Hiashi grimaced and stood up, fury coloring her face almost to the same shade as her hair, "Just because you know where he lives doesn't mean that you can control where he goes! I'm going out with him on a date, so I'll ask someone else if he's sick or not!

"I can't believe you would stoop so low to try and steal him from me!" The edict teacher responded, stomping her foot and grabbing Asuma back from Kurenai. "I'm keeping him."

Kurenai sighed, rubbing her forehead, "If you don't believe me, go ask someone inside." She gestured with a hand back to the party, "But if he has to stay here until you do, I'm staying with him since you didn't even know he was sick." She continued, smirking slightly at the other's frustrated look.

"Fine." Hiashi replied, turning on one foot to stalk back to the party, leaving Kurenai alone with Asuma.

Kurenai sighed, a different sort that the previous one, and relaxed onto the chair that Hiashi and Asuma had been sitting on only a while ago. "You are such an idiot." She said quietly, paying no attention to the people milling about. "I swear, you do all these things just to keep me on my toes.

"But you're my idiot." She whispered, leaning back in the chair to wait for the return of her new enemy in love.

* * *

Naruto felt his brain frying as he looked from one person to the other. One he knew was Iruka-sensei, still staring at the two others with a bored expression. But the new man, who had just appeared in the room, was not Kakashi-sensei as Naruto thought. He was someone who he had never seen before.

Dark hair fell into black eyes, making them being darker from the unnatural shade created from the hair. A smirk graced the pale lips and a row of white teeth was seen. The expression soon turned serious, and a sigh came from the parted lips.

"Dobe, what the hell is wrong with you?" The voice, still the same, came from the new Sasuke's mouth.

Naruto felt his jaw drop farther, understanding that this was still his other team member. He crept slowly over to the much taller teen, "What did you do?" He whispered, sneaking a glance at Sasuke's new figure, almost falling over when he saw how tight the old clothing was on the genin's body.

Eyes narrowed and a fine eyebrow lifted at the remark, "What do you mean? I used my sharingan, that's what." His arms crossed, "Only unlike Iruka-sensei," He glared at the older male, "I can change back whenever I want."

The blonde looked at both teens, now looking older than him, and growled. "This is crap, I can't stay with you two in here." He growled, moving around the room to grab a coat that was lying on the floor, "I need to go somewhere."

"And where would you go?" Sasuke asked, stretching and arching his back in a languid motion. "Nowhere." He stated, relaxing against the wall.

Naruto growled and aimed a kick at the transformed boy, his momentum being halted by a flat palm. "I'm going to kill you!" He screamed, aiming another attack that simply got blocked. He kept forgetting that Sasuke was taller now and could somehow bend more in this form.

Sasuke sighed, bored from the fight, and moved out of Naruto's room, walking down to the kitchen to open the fridge. He was looking for something, obviously, and ignored Naruto when he followed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, baka?" He screeched, closing the refridgerator door. "That's my food, and you can't have any!" Naruto ignored the sound of footsteps behind him, facing the current threat in front of him.

The black haired teen tilted his head to the side, peeling an orange without looking, "I get hungry after using my family skill, so sue me." He commented, placing the peel, all in one piece, onto the counter. "Besides, not like you're going to eat this stuff." The Uchiha parted the fruit, popping it in his mouth.

Naruto huffed and looked over at Iruka, who was trying to yawn without anyone seeing, "What are you going to do? Try and sneak off with some of my food too?"

"Nah." Iruka waved off the boy. "I'm probably going to go and check out Kakashi-san's house." He stretching his arms above his head, yawning again, "He's probably back from whatever mission he had. And if he isn't, I'll just walk in like usual."

Sasuke continued to chew on his fruit while Naruto sputtered. "You know Kakashi-sensei? Why didn't you tell us? Then we could have left you there and not have worried." He pouted and leaned against the counter next to Sasuke, ignoring the closeness of the taller boy.

"I was over Kakashi's house?" Iruka asked, almond shaped eyes widening. "I don't remember that…" He muttered, looking over at the door in interest, "Anyway, Kakashi's never home, so me and Anko usually hang out there to make use of his stuff. It's his own fault for being an ANBU." The chunin shrugged and sauntered over to the door.

He looked over his should at the two, tapping the fronts of his sandals on the mat to shift the shoes back, "I guess you both can come, that illusion is very convincing, and I know Anko-chan will have fun with a little kid." He said dully, opening the door. "Whatever, I'll see you there." And the door swung shut after the nineteen year old wandered out.

"We have to follow him." Sasuke said, sucking on his finger after popping in the last part of the orange. He pushed off the counter and walked over to the door, his new body covering the ground easily.

Naruto sputtered and followed his teammate, pulling on his jacket. "I know, I know… It's our mission until Kakashi-sensei comes home. To watch after Iruka-sensei and make sure he doesn't get into trouble."

He locked the door after him, pocketing his key, and dashed after Sasuke. Suddenly, he stopped in the middle of the road. "Sakura-chan is at Kakashi-sensei's house. And she hasn't seen Iruka-sensei at this age yet." He shivered and felt his body go numb, "We have to go, to protect Iruka-sensei."

* * *

**End of Chapter Notes**

Yeah, school's over and I might actually be writing this summer! My body and brain screams "NO" but my conscience keeps saying, "If you don't, they might find you some day and hurt you." So... The next chapter might not take two months to come out! Except, I also have to go work on "Nocturne", and I haven't posted in that one since February.

Also, I just now have been demanded by my friend to finish my comic, "The Adventures of Little Dutch Boy Lee" And give it to her. I might post this crazy adventure, complete with cross dressing, faries and googly rocks, on my deviantart account. My account name is DC-Chan, if you want to look. Go ahead, leave a comment telling me to hurry up on writing instead of looking at pictures.

Before I forget, and you thought I forgot, I have another review number for you guys to reach until I start writing. I am SlothGirl, I fight working with the power of a sloth! Try and meet 150 this time, hopefully you won't so I can take a longer break this time.

And now you guys are on the back burner for the moment... Again...D'OH!

...Hey, I think I found some lichen growing on me...


	17. Party End

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Harken, what is this? DC posting _before_ people send her death threats? What is the world coming to? I know! Voldermort is coming and is going to kill us all, because he's controling Draco, and everyone knows we can't resist his chrams! The hair! The manicured nails! sigh I think I'm in love, curse you Harry Potter.

I finished the book the day after it came out. I got it on the 16th at nine and finished it while juggling AP class requirments. I still have to read five books and find scientific essays for AP Bio. I should think more, it's my senior year. I shouldn't be working hard...Oh well, I hope you guys enjoy this.

...And, yes, there is SasuNaru in this chapter...

* * *

"You guys are going to love Kakashi's house!" Iruka said, leaning over to speak to Naruto on the other side of Sasuke. He shoved his hands into the tight pants, whistling under his breath when Sasuke glared at him. "I don't know if he'll be able to get in, though. Blondie's a little on the young side."

Naruto puffed out his cheeks, "I can get in easily. I'll go through the back door." He smiled, proud that he thought of this plan all by himself. "Besides, Iruka-sensei, I'm supposed to be taking care of Kakashi-sensei's house since he's…" He drifted off as the house came into view, along with the various ninja that went along with it.

"I. AM. SCREWED!" Naruto yelled, rushing up to the house while waving his arms franticly. "When you said party, did you know that it was going to be this big?" He questioned hysterically, turning to his past teacher and grabbing his shirt. "Kakashi-sensei's gonna kill me!"

And at that moment, Naruto turned into a blob of sadness and desperation. He had to get rid of the party quickly; Kakashi would be coming back from his mission in only an hour, maybe less, and the blonde had no idea what do. He looked over at Sasuke, still in his older looking body, and pounced, latching onto a side.

"You have to help me, Sasuke!" He whined, body on the ground but his arms somehow still around the other's neck. "Help, help, help!" Naruto screamed, squeaking when more people went through the door.

Sasuke's face changed a weird color when Naruto continued to whine, rubbing his body against the others. "It would be best if we went inside." He said blandly, pushing Naruto off and stomping over to the building, stepping into the house where the noise was blaring.

"What's wrong with Sasuke?" Naruto muttered, pulling himself off the ground to see Iruka only a few feet away.

The teacher hadn't moved since Naruto had begun to speak, focusing on the interaction of the two. He smiled and moved closer to the blonde, clapping a hand onto his shoulder and leading him to the back. "Nothing is wrong with him, he's just…confused.

"Besides, you have to sneak into this party." Iruka said, steering the boy into the backyard. "I don't think Anko would appreciate you crashing her party. So try to do it quietly." He said helpfully, moving past Naruto into the bright room, leaving him behind in the patio.

Just as the genin was about to follow, puffing out his cheeks, he stopped when he saw movement out of his peripheral vision. He turned slowly, trying not to draw attention to himself, and found out what it was that had startled him: Kurenai.

Naruto cursed under his breath, she knew he wasn't supposed to be at this party, and hid behind a tree. He scuttled to a closer tree, aware that he had to go across her path to get inside the house. The blonde cursed again and settled in for a long wait.

* * *

Kurenai sighed again as she threaded her hand through Asuma's ruff of hair, leaning back to rest on the seat and stare up at the sky. This was something she did not want to get involved with. She should have just let Hiashi stay with Asuma, let him puke on her, and then make sure he got home okay afterwards.

_'Why did I have to get involved?'_ She thought to herself, waiting for the other woman to come back with someone to confirm what she already knew. "You're so troublesome." Kurenai said quietly, smiling faintly, "I swear, one day, you are going to get it from me."

She pulled her gaze from the heavens and stared at the bush that was moving across the lawn, knowing only one ninja who would try to pull such a dumb stunt, and rolled her eyes while running a hand down her face. "Naruto, get out from behind that bush and explain why you're here."

An eep came from the bush and a splash of blonde popped over the top. The blue eyed boy crept from his hiding spot and over to the older teacher, wisely keeping his head down. "I came because Sasuke and Iruka-sensei told me to. It's all their fault." He exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air before noticing that she wasn't listening closely.

"I said: Iruka-sensei is here, in an older body." Naruto said slower, so she knew exactly what it was that he had yelled before, not knowing why she wasn't moving to try and search out the chunin teacher.

Kurenai hummed happily, nodding at Naruto's words. "That's nice, but that isn't a proper response." She said unaware that her statement didn't match up to the blonde's excuse.

Naruto blinked at the woman in front of him, wondering what was wrong with her, and then blinked again when he noticed the body in her lap. He grinned devilishly and moved closer, making sure that it was the person he thought it was before he spoke, and then sauntered over slowly.

"What's wrong with Asuma-san?" He said with a smile, crossing his arms behind his back and rolling onto his heels then back to the balls of his foot.

Kurenai's head snapped to look at the boy, her eyes narrowing to an intense ferocity. She growled and clenched her teeth, dropping her hands and letting Asuma's head drop back into her lap with a thump. He groaned softly and his eyelids fluttered as his eyes moved underneath them.

"He's sick." She ground out, her jaw locked into position. "His girlfriend made him give up smoking, and he came back from a mission this morning. That is why he is sick." The woman didn't know why she felt like explaining herself to the genin.

"Why'd you make Asuma-san give up smoking?"

Kurenai's eye developed a twitch. "I am not Asuma's girlfriend. His girlfriend," The word was slowly turning into a curse word "is Hiashi. They've been going out for a while." She watched the boy smile wider, his eyes narrowing in amusement.

Naruto stepped back quickly, almost in the house, and sent his parting words. "Then why are you with him and she isn't?"

* * *

The kitsune vessel allowed his eyes to adjust to the sudden light in the apartment before moving deeper within, looking over his shoulder for one last glance of the stunned ninja woman outside. _'Kurenai-san likes Asuma!'_ He thought excitedly to himself as he moved past drunken teachers, who were singing, towards the center of the house. _'Wait until Sakura hears this!'_

He stopped and cocked his head to the side, wondering why he should share this information with his teammate, when he heard shouting. His interest piqued, Naruto walked over to the part of the house that was pulsating with the words, "Chug, chug, chug, chug!" He loved watching people make fools of themselves.

"You are so hot, you don't have to do this! You're also cooler than her, you don't have to prove it!" A girl's voice, heard amid adult murmuring, caught his attention and her turned. Only Sakura could have a voice that loud to drown everyone else out. Surprisingly, her voice was coming from the chugging area.

Naruto moved a little quicker, having a faint idea of who was the center of attention, and was rewarded with quite a spectacle.

Sasuke had Sakura hanging off his arm, urging him not to do what he was doing, while a sobbing woman was sitting across from him. Anko was standing behind the woman, along with a disheveled looking male chunin who was trying to talk sense into the redhead, "Come on, Hiashi. You don't need to take him on. Let's get you something else to drink."

The crying Hiashi, spurned by her love for Asuma, jerked her body away from Hayao, almost fell off her chair, and drained a glass; all while glaring at Sasuke. "This kid thinks he's hot stuff." She slurred, slamming her glass on the table in front of her. The edict teacher stared at her hand in confusion when the glass shattered from the pressure she put on it.

"Now, Hiashi." Anko said, rubbing the woman's shoulders while nudging Hayao out of the way, "You shouldn't be taking this path. Just go back outside and tell Kurenai she was right, and both of you take Asuma home." She said, winking at the people next to her, riling up the woman even more so at the mention of the rival in her love. This was fun.

Sasuke shook his head, moving his arm from Sakura's grasp and leaned heavily on the table, obviously, he'd had some drinks himself in the small amount of time he had been in the apartment. "I am sooooo much better than you." He said with his lips pouting as he rubbed at underneath his nose sardonically. "I'm going to take you down town."

"This is not going to end well…" Naruto whispered as he crept closer to the battleground, quite aware of what was going to happen in the next few minutes. It was going to be a fight between two novices in the drinking world, and they were going to be soaking up everything put in front of them like a sponge.

Anko, in her element, began to move people farther from the combatants, creating a circle of spectators surrounding them. "Alright, alright." She shouted, hitting away a few roving hands that groped her figure, "This is what we've been waiting for all night. Two people fighting for their honor and virtue!"

She ignored the boo's and hisses at that part in her speech, hushing them by making motions with her hands. "Names aren't important, but origins are. One, a newcomer to the parties, trying to make his way into our hearts through this wondrous fight. The other, shunned by her lover and fighting to try and hide her sensitive side. In the end, only one will leave standing!"

With a quick pose, and a quick cheer for the battle to begin, Anko started to put glasses of various liquors in front of the two ninja. "The rules are, drain the glass and put it down upside down. You have to finish it for it to count as a point. The ninja with the most points wins."

Before Anko had even finished the phrase, Sasuke had lifted his first glass to his lips and drained it in a few gulps. He placed it in the manner Anko noted and waited for Hiashi to finish her own. When she put hers down, a little sooner than his, Sasuke arched his eyebrow and tapped his finger on the table to signal for his second beverage.

Naruto moved closer in the circle after five drinks had disappeared, calculating how long this could possibly go on for. Both ninjas didn't have experience with alcohol, he could tell that by simply looking at the flushed faces on both of them, and they were swinging back those drinks as if they were water.

_'It's going to end right about…now.'_ He thought, nodding to himself when the woman's head slammed itself onto the table in defeat, Sasuke letting out a very un-Uchiha like whoop before he, too, fell face first onto the table. _'Now, to sneak in with no one noticing.'_

Anko and the rest of the partygoers watched in mild confusion as a naked blonde woman, heavily endowed, walked out from the crowd and swung the dark-haired male over her shoulder, then walked out the front door. The jounin in charge shrugged, grabbed one of the glasses still full on the table, and started to chug it down.

Naruto sighed as he walked outside, dropping his illusion and Sasuke in one movement, and watched the lump of flesh groan at the contact with the hard ground. "It's your own fault dumb ass." Naruto supplied, looking at his fingernails in a strict examination of them, "You had to show you were so cool, so you challenged someone to a drinking contest."

When he glanced up, he saw Sasuke back at his normal age, apparently being intoxicated influenced your jutsu skills, but with his head resting on the lawn, as if it was too heavy to pick up. "Eh, Sasuke." Naruto said, poking his teammate in the side, earning a moan for all his trouble. "Wake up, baka."

Naruto tried to hold back the feeling of fear that was slowly creeping up the back of his throat when the other boy didn't respond, his head still on the ground. "Sasuke? Wake up, please?" He couldn't hide the twinge of concern in his voice; he lay down on the ground so that he was even with the prone body. "I won't call you baka anymore, if that's bothering you."

A mumble of agreement was heard as Sasuke tilted his head up and stared at his teammate with his black eyes. He seemed astonished to see Naruto in front of him, blinking owlishly with confusion lurking in his depths. With a groan he buried his head back into the pillow formed by his arms.

"What's wrong with you?" Naruto asked, moving towards Sasuke like a worm on his belly, "You've been mopey all day, ever since we found Iruka-sensei." He pouted and blew out his cheeks, his tongue sticking out with the actions. "Meh, Sasuke, go back to being a hard ass."

The Uchiha opened his eyes again and rolled onto his back to glare at Naruto, "I never knew I was a hard ass before." He sighed, sprawled out and then looking up at the stars.

"Are you feeling okay?" Naruto asked, still lying on his front in the grass. "Sasuke, you might be sick, or something…." He moved forward on his elbows and knees, "Hey, I know! You just drank a lot of stuff, so of course you're feeling weird." Naruto sighed and laid his head next to Sasuke's, cheek on the ground while he looked at the other boy's ear, which was only a few inches away from his nose. "That has to be it."

A few moments of silence passed, making Naruto uncomfortable, and just as he was about to say something, anything, to break the quiet, Sasuke blew a little gust of breath from his lips. "I think I like you." He said quietly, almost unheard from the cheering coming from the house behind them.

Naruto, instead of making a rude comment like he usually did, simply moved his head in position to look up at the sky also. "Well…" He knew Sasuke didn't mean as a teammate, but as something more. He had to try and dodge it to get some time to think this over. "Lots of people like me." Naruto said, mentally hitting himself on the forehead inside his head.

That was a stupid response. This was not going to end well, unless he revealed what he really wanted to say. The inner Naruto screamed "NO!" running up the walls and banging into the object known as his brain, he couldn't say what he'd always wanted to whenever he saw the other boy.

Sasuke must be mistaken. He couldn't like someone like Naruto.

The dark haired boy sighed, rolling over to face away from Naruto. "That's what I thought…" He said in his normal tone, mask already firmly back in place. With a muted grunt, he rolled forward and sat up straight. As he made to leave, a hand landed on his shoulder.

Naruto's blue eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of the night, regarding Sasuke with a guarded look. He let actions speak for him, pulling himself up and letting his lips softly touch against the other's, lingering as he pulled away. "You didn't let me finish." Naruto said; pouting and drawing Sasuke back onto the ground with him.

* * *

Back from his mission, and dead tired, the jounin sensei stared at his house with a confused air surrounding him. _'What the hell? Why is there a ton of people on my property?'_ He was about to charge into his house and demand to know when he remembered that deal he made with Anko, _' Oh yeah, that stupid rule…'_

That stupid rule had been made when he was still an ANBU and she a chunin; he didn't care if she used his house when he was gone. But now he was back to doing important, dangerous missions only once in a while, and the last mission he had been on that lasted over a year was over three years ago. Except, now this jounin wanted to sleep, not party, away his last mission.

Kakashi sighed as he walked towards his house, ignoring his team that somehow snuck into the party that was being held for adults. He also ignored two of the teammates who were making out directly in front of him on the ground outside. It was only after he walked closer that he noticed that the two making out were the two _males_ of his team.

He blinked stupidly at the pair, not conceiving what he was seeing, before sighing and stepping over the two. He was getting to old to return from missions to this crap. Kakashi yawned as he walked deeper into the party, covering his mouth out of habit.

As he walked into the opening hall, kicking off his sandals, a drunken Anko, her body sprawling over his own, attacked him. "Kashi, whater you doing here?" She said while giggling, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand. "You weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow morning!" Anko laughed again, grabbing a drink to shove it into the ninja's face.

"Want a drink? I made plenty!" Anko moved away and swirled in a circle, continuing to laugh, ignoring the deadpan look from Kakashi.

He sighed and took the drink, swinging it down in a quick motion, and looked at Anko again, feeling his eyelid drooping. "It's time for the party to end, Anko." He said, rubbing his temple, "You have to end the party and tell everyone to go home."

The woman whimpered and shoved another drink at the jounin, which he drank down again, and slowly moved into a piggyback position on top of him while he was still standing. "But Kashi, this is so much fun!" She whined, breathing into the nape of his neck afterwards.

Kakashi ignored her whining, used to this from her when she was drunk, and moved to the kitchen with her still perched on his back. He grabbed a few beers, still in the can, and quickly opened and downed them all. When he started to feel a little lightheaded, he took the cool metal off his bottom lip and placed the canister on the counter.

With a halting step, he had forgotten that Anko was on his back, but she was now asleep, Kakashi made a few seals in the middle of the kitchen. He thought of everyone who normally came to these types of parties and pictured their faces in his mind. With the seal of the tiger, he simply used a teleportation jutsu to make them all be moved to the top of the hokage monument.

_'I hope those asleep wake up soon…'_ He thought as he rolled his shoulders, relieved of the burden of Anko's deadweight, _'I think I saw a hard rainstorm front moving in.'_ Kakashi yawned as he moved past the open doorway.

His blurry eyes spotted movement in front of him, and he squinted at the figure. He sighed and rubbed at his forehead, wincing when a flake of blood drifted from his hair. Kakashi ignored the person to his left, hoping they would go home since everyone else was gone, and moved towards his room.

Iruka watched as Kakashi sent him a blurry look before walking off, surprised at everyone suddenly disappearing from the party. _'He looks tired…'_ He thought to himself as he followed the fellow ninja, wanting to know what was wrong. The Kakashi he knew was never like that, joining in with the festivities until early in the morning.

He took caution when following, Kakashi was a jounin, and successfully made it into the other man's room. Iruka, in fact, had arrived in enough time to see Kakashi pull his shirt off and flop into bed face first, pants riding dangerously low on his white hips. Iruka moved closer, waiting for any movement from the ninja, and sat on the bed.

"Kakashi? Are you okay?"

_'Who the hell is that?'_ The jounin's mind thought, relentlessly turning the cogs in his head to try and understand who could still be in his house. He had gotten rid of all the regulars, a checkmark in his mind next to every picture of the schoolteachers. The kids were outside, another checkmark, making out with each other. Like in his time.

Suddenly, his mind hit a familiar snag. It was someone who he had talked to before, someone who didn't go to the parties that were thrown in his absence. Kakashi reluctantly pulled his conscience from a dreamless sleep, and the soft pillow he was on, and looked over his shoulder at the person in the doorway. "Iruka?" He said, yawning even as the name fought it way from his lips.

The pony tailed man nodded and moved closer, sitting on the bed and leaning over to look at the ninja he had known for a little while when he was in the academy. "You don't look so good? Hard mission?"

"Real…Easy…" Kakashi said, rubbing his face into his pillow and opening his non-sharingan eye to stare at the other man in silence. He did look like that little kid from before; it was a frightening effect on the older man. "But…"

"What?" Iruka asked, leaning forward, "Did you get hurt?" He poked Kakashi in the side, frowning when the ninja didn't respond. "If you're hurt, you shouldn't be home. You should be with a med-nin." Iruka huffed, sighing when Kakashi didn't answer.

"And now you fall asleep on me. That's real polite!" Iruka ranted, about to stand up and storm back to his house when an arm moved and knocked him down onto the bed he was sitting on, landing across his chest and pinning him down against the mattress. "Kakas-" His lecture stopped in his throat when he looked over at the slumbering man.

The pale face had gone slack in sleep and Kakashi was facing Iruka, who was looking at him from only an inch or two away from his face. A soft snore came from the parted lips when Iruka moved slightly to pull the rest of his body onto the bed, Kakashi frowning and whimpering in his sleep. He paused in his movement, waiting for the light rhythm to resume, and sighed in relief the second it did.

Oh, Kakashi was going to get it when he woke up. Nobody used Iruka as a pillow and got away with it. He was a teacher for God's sake!"

* * *

**End of Chaper Notes**

There's that chapter done. I think this fanfiction is going to end in three chapters. The number twenty is even, and a multiple of ten. Perfect number for an ending. So that means you guys won't have to deal with me for a while until I get bitten by the insperation bug. Hahaha, you guys are going to hate me at the end. I already have it planned out in my mind.

Also, it's day six right now. The last day! Oh noes!

Will Kakashi reveal his affection for Iruka? Will Iruka understand these advances, constantly changing ages and bodies can't be healthy for everyone? Naruto and Sasuke are together, does this mean Sakura will love Super-Kawaii-Lee-chan? Find out in the coming chapters of Plastic Ponies!


	18. Decisions, Decisions

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

To think, last time I posted a chapter was in July. I, foolishly, thought that I posted a chapter in September. Sorry for making you all wait so long.

Yes, you people are probably going to kill me after this one. This is the second to last chapter, even thought I said that this story was going to be twenty chapters long. Chapter twenty will be a question/answer chapter to help quell your fears after chapter nineteen.

Not that anything bad will happen, just something interesting.

And remember, chapter nineteen and twenty will be coming out before Christmas. Rest assured, I will do that since I have a lot of work due. Maybe I'll get into Cornell, like I wish. Sigh, Ivy League.

* * *

The soft pitter-patter of rain echoed through the apartment, bouncing off the walls and creating a soothing atmosphere to envelope the sleeping man in the bed. The sun, though out, was casting only a few faint rays of meager light to try and penetrate the thick haze from the shower. Therefore the man who was still asleep didn't know what time it was.

The thing that awoke him from his slumber wasn't an alarm, or a shock to his system reminding him that he was late. No. The thing that made the chunin currently asleep in a jounin's bed wake up was the sound of soft purring.

Iruka felt his eyes open slowly to take in his surroundings: The soft light, the slight cinnamon scent, the sound of the rain hitting a closed window, a pale face, still covered by a mask, with the one visible eye closed, the other eye pressed into the pillow. The chunin smiled gently, finding nothing wrong with this picture, and was about to go back to sleep, burrowing under the blankets, when his brain finally caught up.

The only ninja with a mask was Hatake Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi was a well-known pervert. Hatake Kakashi was in a bed with a male chunin. These thoughts were mulled over for a moment, analyzed form every angle, before brown eyes suddenly widened in horror: He, Umino Iruka, an academy teacher of small, innocent, impressionable children, had slept with hot, sultry, moody, jounin Hatake Kakashi.

"Oh my God." He whispered, hand creeping up from underneath the sheets to clasp itself over his mouth.

At the soft words, a low moan came from Kakashi as he rolled over onto his side from his stomach, curling up against the warmth that had settled next to him during the night. He rubbed his face sleepily against Iruka's shoulder, a small moan coming from deep within his throat. Kakashi seemed contently asleep, his arm resting slightly under his jaw as his face nudged itself into Iruka's neck.

_'Please, let this all be a bad dream.'_ The near twenty-two year old stated to himself in his mind, trying to control the urge to scream. _'I'm not in bed with Kakashi-san, we didn't do anything.'_ Then Iruka moved slowly from the weight nestled into his chest, trying to get up from the bed.

Escaped from his prison, Iruka brushed himself off and looked around the room, trying to find the source of the purring. "What messes I get myself into…" He sighed, threading his hand through his messy hair, wincing when it caught on a knot. "But at least I'm still dressed."

And with that said, the chunin sighed again and moved into the kitchen, mind too troubled to notice a pale arm moving from underneath the covers to hit the purring cat alarm. Or the pair of eyes that opened blearily to greet the wet morning.

* * *

Iruka stirred his tea moodily, looking out the window. He hated rain, and it didn't help that he was in an apartment that he didn't recognize. The chunin sighed and flopped down onto the table, his eyes staring blearily up at the window, as if he stared at the outside world long enough the weather would suddenly change to suit his needs. It was only when he heard a shower being turned on that Iruka sat up straight.

"Maybe it isn't Kakashi-san…" He said softly, glancing down at his now cold tea, looking for answers to his sudden dilemma. Iruka swiveled to look out the window again, hoping that the weather had changed for the better, but, alas, it had not. "Probably not…" Iruka muttered; his mood dropping.

The chunin stood up, leaving his cup behind on the table and wandered into the living room, worrying his hands. "I don't need this." Iruka said while his brows furrowed to a point, "I just got into the academy. A nice job filled with nice kids and nice people. I don't need to be found with a naked jounin and have myself fired!

"Wait…" Iruka's face blanched and his pacing stopped. "Was he naked?" Struggling to stop blushing, very hard with his current state of mind, Iruka delved back into his memories from before he had waken up. "How did I even get home with him?" Iruka questioned himself, finding none of his memories leading up to him being in a bed with a "maybe" naked jounin.

"It's not like I've ever really talked to Kakashi-san before." The chunin resumed his pacing, moving back and forth in front of the slightly dusty television. "Maybe once in a while when I was in the mission room, but the hokage just assigned me to the academy and Kakashi-san would never be seen with kids. He never has a genin team to teach."

Iruka frowned, hand going to cup his chin, "A bet made by Kurenai? She was always for getting me into trouble when I flunked one of her students. But she would never do anything with the jounins. They made her really pissed when the jounins made fun of one of her flower arrangement girls. Something about a huge forehead…"

He was so caught up in his musings that Iruka didn't hear the water in the other room turn off; he also didn't hear the other sound that was often coupled with a shower turning off; the slap of flesh against a cool floor. Iruka turned to the wall nearest to him, looking for a poster to distract his thoughts that were slowly becoming more confusing, and was sadly disappointed when a blank wall greeted him.

"Of course, it could just be me losing my mind after a couple of really hard days with the kids." Iruka nodded, convinced that was the problem, slowly wandering over to the kitchen to make another cup of tea. Caffeine was the only thing that Iruka knew that could fix his problems right now, and he was thinking about making a cup of coffee instead of tea; stronger for his nerves, and he might as well get used to it since he was now a teacher.

"It's a good thing that Kakashi-san has all this stuff in one place or else I'm sure I would…be…" The chunin drifted off as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes fixing on a pale back that was directed towards him. The owner of said back was rummaging through the refrigerator, mindless of who or what was staring at him, it being too early in the morning for him to really concentrate on anything besides finding something edible.

Make that cup of coffee into a cup of sake.

Moving quickly into a deep bow, aware of how he was blushing, Iruka stammered a quick greeting, "Good morning, Kakashi-san. I hope you had a good rest." Before raising his head slightly to see how the elite jounin would react to seeing the younger man in his apartment flat.

"Meh..."

Iruka straightened, ready to reprimand Kakashi for being so rude, but stopped, mouth hanging slightly open, when the full view of the man he supposedly slept with came into focus. '_It's not such a bad idea, now that I think about it…'_

A pair of mismatched eyes stared at him with barely contained laughter, the steel colored one slightly more closed. Gray hair hung almost limp from the recent shower. Body just barely covered by a towel wrapped around a slim waist. A mouth revealing strong, straight teeth that were bared in a silent laugh at the befuddled chunin who couldn't place who it was that he was currently staring at.

With a jaunty cock of the head and a hand on the hip, the seductiveness destroyed after placing a cold pork bun into his mouth, Kakashi stared at Iruka. Swallowing his breakfast, or was it brunch, the jounin lifted an eyebrow. "Yo." And then Kakashi walked out the kitchen back into his bedroom, leaving behind a very confused Iruka.

* * *

Sakura sighed at the breakfast table, ignoring the pounding in her head. She was sure it was a hangover but she wasn't going to inform her mother about that. It would lead to…questions…and answers…and explanations of Iruka changing into a small child, but he was quickly growing up...

Her mother wouldn't understand. She had never been a teenager and lived a wild life.

So instead, Sakura gratefully accepted the buttered toast her mother handed to her, part of a new diet, and chewed thoughtfully as the room gradually became brighter as the sun rose. This was going to be an interesting day, if anything, so she had to make sure she was fit to be seen. Had to make sure she was cool. Calm. Confident.

"Sakura, honey?"

The shattering of glass, and the above ideals, could be heard as Sakura jumped from her chair straight into the air. After landing, the girl stared at her mother in pure shock, "What is it mother?" Sakura gasped, hand clasped to her chest in an attempt to calm the rapidly beating organ.

Never turning from making pancakes, for the rest of the family who was fine with their self image, the older Haruno created a shadow copy to begin cleaning up the mess behind her. "I was hoping you would be able to get some eggs for me. It seems I forgot I needed three eggs for blueberry pancakes. Silly me."

Instead of waiting for her child's response, Mrs. Haruno turned and placed a list into her daughter's limp hands, closing them and turning back to preparing breakfast. "I also need bread, milk, some tomatoes, a block of cane sugar, make sure it's fresh, ground meat, and a little bit of ginger root."

She paused for a moment, knife tip resting against her bottom lip as she struggled to remember the last item on her list. "Oh, yes! And see if you can find a couple of tulip bulbs that aren't rotted. We've had such horrible weather the past few months. I want to try and plant them before the first frost of winter. They're very pretty when they bloom in the spring."

"O-of course." Sakura said; face turning pale when her stomach growled at the mention of "real" food, also at the large list her mother had just assigned as her unofficial mission of the day. "I'll go out right now." She hurried over to the door and fled the sanctuary that smelt of syrup and sizzling bacon.

"Make sure you take your umbrella! Oh, and don't forget your rain boots! I don't want you to track mud in the house, or catch a cold that you'll infect the rest of your team with." Sakura's mother exclaimed as Sakura was about to walk out the entrance, still clad in her simple everyday outfit and sandals.

The mother of the troubled girl turned and looked out the door, a faint smile on her face when she spotted her only child trudging through the downpour to find her items on the shopping list, "One day, she'll appreciate all of this." And after receiving a silent nod of agreement from her doppelganger, the woman resumed making a meal for her still sleeping husband.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she walked down the road, holding her umbrella in the crook of one arm, resting it against her shoulder, and looking down at the list in her other hand to find that every one of the things her mother listed were on the little sheet of paper. "This is going to take me all day to finish." She muttered, sighing when her breath came out in smoky puff.

She wouldn't say she was happy for her mother telling her to put on the extra clothing, it was almost winter, and it was getting colder, but she had other things to do on her day off. "I could be finding out what happened to Iruka-sensei." Sakura sighed. Finding yourself suddenly transported to the top of the hokage monument, and your two other male teammates making out almost on top of you, had put a damper on her morning. Then not finding your teacher, who was supposedly also at the party, not flipped over his own body like the other drunken adults.

It was a damper if Sakura ever knew one.

"I could ask someone to help me with my chores. Make everything go faster!" Sakura brightened, "Naruto and Sasu-" She stopped abruptly. In the middle of the sidewalk, rain running down in torrents on either side of her, staring blankly in front of her as she imagined what the two boys did.

Shivering suddenly, Sakura accompanied this act with a shake of the head. "They wouldn't do that. We're only twelve!" The girl paled when she thought about what she usually thought about when Sasuke came around.

The silence around the young child could have been cut with a knife, if anyone was approaching her. Most of the people just skirted around her, in hopes of not being noticed. A few moved close, but they were promptly shoved aside by the invisible wall known as Sakura's depression.

It was only when a hugely energetic ball of happiness, and green, came skipping down the street, that Sakura snapped out of staring at the one spot in the street.

"Sakura-chan!" Rock Lee spouted enthusiastically, jumping into a large puddle before arriving next to his would be, hoped for, lover. It was one of those strange days that the boy was not fully dressed in green, good by itself, and in spandex, the evil partner that destroys the color.

Maybe from the cold, or from the need to jump into puddles and become soaked, the fellow genin was dressed in a simple pair of dark denim, rarely seen in the village, and a heavy knit sweatshirt that was a dark shade of blue. The only thing that revealed that this youth was, indeed, the mini-Gai that everyone referred him to, was the bright green umbrella held over his head, printed with dancing turtles.

Ignoring her instinct to hit the boy, which is what she did whenever she saw him coupled with running off screaming 'Sasuke-kun, I love you!' Sakura lifted her eyes to see Lee. "Oh...Hi, Lee-kun." She said, considering her options. She couldn't run away, her teammates were no where to be seen, and now she couldn't hit the boy, since she had actually said hello. What a predicament.

The big eyebrowed genin smiled, a twinkle of shine accompanying it, "I was wondering what you were doing out on a day like this? I would have suspected you to be indoors, maybe working on something with your team." He tilted his umbrella back so he could look out at the dreary day, to confirm his words. "It's not a day for simple wandering."

"I'm going out for my mother." Sakura lifted her list from her pocket, smiling shakily back at the boy. When he was spouting off about youthfulness and running laps, he was actually nice. Maybe it was his teacher that made him crazy? Kakashi-sensei always said that Gai-san was a little strange.

Taking a tentative step closer, to avoid being bowled over by a passerby, Sakura blushed lightly. "Actually, I was going to look for someone to go shopping with me. There is a lot of stuff. Would you...?"

Lee smiled again, a more genuine smile, sans sparkle, and hooked arms with the slightly shorter girl. "Of course, Sakura-chan! There's nothing more I love than to help a damsel in distress!"

And with both their days set, the two genin walked off to the market. One with a heart full of hope for possible love, the other, simply trying to fulfill a chore. But the latter was slowly changing her mind.

* * *

After the scantly clad Kakashi left the kitchen, probably with the intent of going to his room to get changed, Iruka sat at the table, his mind stuttering to start. The chunin stared at the wall, building his thought process back to speed. That was the first time he had seen Kakashi-san outside of the mission room.

"You'd think I was a lovesick puppy." Iruka grumbled, standing up and wandering into the living room. Falling down onto the couch, he stared out the window at the rain again, his mind refusing to go back to the room he was just in. And the very sexy man who had wandered in and out in less than five minutes.

Iruka believed that your one true love could be anyone. It didn't have to be someone of the opposite sex, and the village itself was very lax with relationships, so people were never pressured with being cast as a social exile.

Ninjas tend to live very short lives, so they were allowed the leniency to take pleasure in any relationship they wished for. Usually these relationships were short. Not because one of the partners died or anything that dramatic, but mostly for the reason that one of the lovers decided that it was time for them to move on. To not become attached to anyone who might be used against them.

Iruka also believed that love came to those who waited, worked at it and wanted it. He didn't think there was any truth in "love at first sight" or "Cupid's arrows" that man people suddenly fall madly in love with each other at a moment's notice. The chunin thoughts were partially the reason why he didn't have any girlfriends or boyfriends since the academy, though many people seemed interested.

So why were these emotions suddenly dumped on him in less than a few minutes?

It didn't fit in with his logic that was for sure. The pony tailed man wondered what was going to happen next. Was he going to stay and maybe try to find out why he was feeling...amoured? Or was he going to flee in the face of a relationship, like usual?

Feeling strange, Iruka scratched his cheek in consideration. Maybe this was retribution for something he did in a past life? "No..." He muttered, his head feeling heavy and dropping into his lap. "Too early in the morning..." Usually by this time of the day, about four cups of strong coffee had been drunk and he was teaching students the basics already.

When he couldn't move his body past mid bend, Iruka stood and looked down at what he was wearing. "What am I wearing?" He said; shocked at the tight pants companied with a shirt that wasn't all there. "Why would I wear this?" He racked his brain and came up with only one explanation: "Kakashi."

With a new mission, kill the jounin, Iruka stomped down the hallway, chakra flaring up as a warning to the normally bored ninja. Swinging open the bedroom door, chest puffed, Iruka prepared to curse Kakashi.

Only for him to stop mid rant and stare at the picture in front of him.

Curled up on the bed, dressed only halfway, Kakashi was snuggling his pillow. His mask at the moment wasn't his usual piece of fabric. Instead his pillow was doing that job, and his hair lazily fell onto his scarred eye.

As for his dress, or lack there of, the jounin only had on a pair boxers. This, naturally, had a snail print. Probably an inner need of the jounin to show how he always felt on the inside. Slow, but loving every moment of it.

Iruka stood in the doorway, torn between waking up the man who has stolen his heart and simply beating him over the head, or staying where he was and continue watching possibly the most dangerous man in all of Konoha cuddle a pillow. A very difficult decision.

"He fell asleep again, the baka." Iruka said, wandering into the room to sit down on the bed, hoping for Kakashi to wake up at the mattress shifting. "At least this time he has pants on, sort of..." The man muttered, noticing the lack of movement from the jounin. "He must have had a mission and Gai-san must have made me follow him home to make sure he didn't kill himself by drowning in the shower by falling asleep."

With this new excuse in mind, Iruka nodded and stood up, his before intent forgotten, and began to hunt for a new outfit.

Not seeing a closet, he moved towards the only chest of drawers in the room. The top two drawers were filled with uniforms, some patched, and other still a little stiff with dried blood. Sighing, sure this wasn't going to end well; Iruka opened the last drawer and was relieved to find some normal, civilian clothes.

Changing quickly into a pair of jeans and a button up white shirt that were a little too big for him, the tan chunin glanced back at the slumbering Kakashi. During his excavation for an outfit, the jounin has twisted and had revealed his face to Iruka, pillow hung over the bed held in slightly limp fingers.

As if guided by an unseen force, maybe love, the man walked back over to the bed and studied the pale figure. Crisscrossed with light scars, the darkest one being the slash across his left eye, Iruka silently traced them with his eyes. The last one he noticed a nick on his chin, which led his eyes upwards to Kakashi lips.

No longer knowing what he was doing, Iruka leaned downwards to the man's face, stopping just as he hovered over the thin line. Breathing deeply, to clear his mind, Iruka became even more befuddled when the scent of cinnamon assaulted his senses. That's when he made his decision. Who said he couldn't have both sides of his argument?

With a slight moment, he captured the sleeping jounin's lips in a chaste kiss then stood. And without looking back, he strode out the room, running away into the rain. Never looking back to notice the pair of mismatched staring at his retreat.

* * *

**End of ChapterNotes**

You can't kill me, you promised. It'll get better next chapter. Hey, R&R, it'll make me happy, since I'm feeling a little sad, what with me being sick and all. Let's try and get to 173. An nice, odd, number. I think it might be my favorite.

It'll be awesome if I can break 200 on this story. But it'll be alright if I can't. Maybe an early christmas present for me? bats eyelashes>


	19. Sudden Stop

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

I know I said I was going to have this chapter out by Christmas, and I did have it finished by then, but then, you know, CHRISTMAS got in the way. Involving buying last minute presents, opening small presents and finding out that they are _big_ presents, seeing relative, both liked and unliked, and avoiding a lovesick suitor trying to get me alone upstate.

It's been an interesting Christmas.

* * *

The village of Konoha was known for its freak weather. Sometimes, it would snow during the summer and blistery days would be greeted in the summer. Of course, the weather made it fit for these 'unnatural' natural occurrences to happen when least expected. Many a civilian had been caught in one of those strange snowstorms when wearing nothing more than a tank top and shorts.

This was one of those days. Only a week or two ahead of winter, Crisp winds and crunchy leaves were anticipated. It was not expected to rain straight for a full twenty four hours, making the earth and everything in it seem foggy and spongy at the same time.

It was with these thoughts that a certain jounin stared out the window, a dilemma stirring in his mind that was struggling to be fixed. Should he run after the chunin who had just been in his room, or stay and keep away from a future predicament? Both would result in a confrontation.

"I might as well..." Kakashi muttered, slowly crawling out of his bed to find a pair of pants and his mask. Sure, he could show his face to Iruka, the little Iruka it may have been, but not to the rest of the village. "He's probably run home."

With a yawn, Kakashi grabbed his coat and umbrella, glaring outside to the weather. Rain was so horrible, snow was nice, wind was too, but rain was evil when coupled with either.

"Ma, the last day." He said to himself as he moved outside, receiving a face full with rain and trudging into a puddle of mud. "And just the way I wanted to spend it: in the rain, with mud in my shoes."

The jounin shrugged his shoulders, creating another barrier for the weather to pass and stumbled down the street. It didn't make sense to use the rooftops, it was only windier up there, and down on the ground was probably when Iruka was at the moment.

The most probable place for the younger man to be was at his house. It was closest, possibly the place where Iruka felt at home, and it was dry. Kakashi's face broke into a small smile at the thought, his footsteps quickening despite his many years of ninja training.

In a few moments, with much jumping over mysterious looking puddles that might be a few feet deep, Kakashi found himself at the chunin's house. Tapping his feet, allowing some of the water to drip off to form another puddle, he tried the door.

Only to find it locked.

And to make things worse, when he turned around he found a kitten, which had been near Iruka's house a few days ago, meowing pitifully next to him. After finding out that the umbrella provided protection from the storm, and the person holding it looking vaguely familiar, the orange feline had crept up and clung to the warmth source.

"Let me guess." At the sound of a voice, two greenish-yellow eyes darted up to lock with a singular steely blue, "You want to go inside." An obnoxious meow was Kakashi's response.

"You don't need to be so mean." Kakashi pouted then promptly straightened his face, finding it stupid to converse with a cat. With another sigh he stooped over and picked up the cat, shoving it inside his coat.

When he felt the prick of little claws and teeth against his chest, Kakashi decided that maybe he shouldn't shove cats into coats anymore. Grunting slightly, it was hard to do a back flip onto a roof while holding a struggling cat and an umbrella, Kakashi looked at the windows on either side of the small house.

"What should I do, ketsunoana-neko?" Kakashi said happily, petting the mass of half dried fur that was currently knowing on his mask base.

Hearing what it had been called, and being thoroughly offended, the cat hissed and bounded off his chest, landing on the roof with a little 'oof'. Shaking itself, the kitten bounded away towards the end of the roof and to the back door. On the edge of the roof it looked back for a moment, and, Kakashi swore later on, arched an eyebrow and seemed to slip off.

"SHIT!" Kakashi yelled, hoping no one heard, and sprinted after the feline, praying to all the gods that the stupid little ass-cat survived so he wouldn't have to make a matching little grave for it in this crappy weather. Plus he forgot his umbrella behind him. Stupid cat.

He found the kitten huddled near the back door, the back light shedding an eerie glow in the haziness.

With a snide look at the ninja, the kitten scratched gently at the closed door, giving a loud meow that didn't seem to fit the small frame. Another loud demand was issued when Kakashi turned around to find his umbrella, cursing the kitten under his breath when he found the umbrella four houses down.

Dropping into a large puddle didn't help the man's mood as he stalked over to the door, glaring at the small animal the entire way. Pushing on the door and finding it open led Kakashi to wonder at how Iruka ever became a shinobi, but then, remembering how he had once been in the house, Kakashi reasoned with himself that maybe it was he who left the door unlocked.

Fumbling over things strewn on the ground, Kakashi almost tripped from the cat bolting into the room the moment the door had opened wide enough. Fumbling around in the dark, the man looked for a light switch with his hands, trying to avoid the invisible obstacles he kept hitting. Various things and the cat, at least three times with two being intentional, were hit before the room was basked in light.

"Yo, Iruka?" Kakashi called out softly, looking around the room. The kitchen he was in smelled slightly stale, meaning that no one had come into the house since he left a couple of days ago. Shrugging after opening a window to allow the air to circulate, Kakashi turned to leave to resume his search only to find the kitten sitting near the door, eyes sorrowfully locked on the man.

The ninja studied his opponent for a moment; analyzing motives as the cat unfurled itself form its sitting position and trotted over. "MROW!" It screamed as it curled around his legs then dashed over to a small dish next to a counter, visibly empty, and then sat down.

The gray haired ninja scratched his head and walked back to the counter, taking in the house as he moved. A few articles of clothing scattered throughout the connecting living room, probably from his last visit with the child Iruka, a small bouquet of flowers put in a vase on the table, maybe from one of those kids?

Groaning to himself, he glanced down at the kitten, which was now kneading his pants leg, looking up expectantly for food. "I don't know where he keeps cat food!" The kitten meowed again, digging its claws deeper into his leg.

"You're just going to have to wait." Kakashi growled at the small animal, reaching down to detach it from his pants, dropping it quickly on the couch and racing for the door, and back into the pre-mature darkness of day.

Kakashi grimaced when he looked out from under his umbrella, trying to find the sun, a somewhat large drop of rain falling on his cloth covered nose, '_He didn't have to run away as if I were the plague.'_ He thought with a frown, shaking his head and withdrawing it back underneath his umbrella, watching the world through one eye.

Before he could continue with that train of thought, it was that or think of Iruka, which was slowly becoming commonplace, Kakashi was stopped when he spotted the hokage walking, holding the hand of his grandson in one hand, the other holding up a large enough umbrella to cover them both.

As he tried to walk past the hokage spotted his stealth movements, who would use such skills when touring the village, and hailed him over. "Kakashi! What are you doing out here in such awful weather?"

"I could ask you the same thing, hokage-sama." Kakashi answered, moving closer, but still keeping a noticeable distance. "I might just be I enjoy walking in the rain-"

The hokage smiled, "In your sandals." He rubbed at his chin thoughtfully, allowing Konohamaru to move away and peer suspiciously at the two old men near-by who were playing go, both slipping pieces onto the board when the other wasn't looking. "I am sure a jounin like you owns at least one pairs of closed-top shoes?"

"Of course, hokage-sama, I just...Forgot about them." Kakashi replied, hand rubbing the back of his head as he ducked slightly, completing the look of incompetence that was often labeled to him.

A rising of the eyebrow was his answer. "Yes, Kakashi, but make sure you take care of yourself. I don't want you to get sick in the next week or two, that wouldn't do any good at all for your team." He stooped to grasp his kin's hand, dragging him from the go game with a hidden, second battle going on, continuing down the street back to his office, hoping to get some work finished on this dull day. "Just make sure you find him. He might be at the memorial."

Instead of questioning the hokage, and one never did so, Kakashi took his advice and turned around and tread in the opposite direction.

After a few moments of silence, the ninja found himself in front of the long slab of stone; every ninja who had ever failed or been defeated in the line of duty for Konohagakure had their name carved into it. And huddled in front of the monument was a crouched figure, hand reached out, pressing against two names.

Kakashi stared at the silent man for a moment, wondering if he knew that he was now here, and watched with a bored, but slightly worried, eye as Iruka abruptly stood up and strode over to where he was standing. He smartly decided to ignore the feeling of dread that filled his stomach when Iruka came closer and the need to flee that accompanied it.

When the chunin stopped, he was completely underneath the umbrella that was held by another, his face directed to the floor. "Kakashi-san..." He muttered. As a response, Kakashi dipped his head slightly so he could hear better, the quiet rain was suddenly causing too much noise at the moment.

If one were passing by right now, it would appear as if the two were romantically engaged.

"Do you hate me?" Iruka said, glancing up to check Kakashi's reaction, his hands twisting around themselves as he worried his bottom lip; an endearing trait he had picked up from one of his younger students. Black hair plastered to the back of his neck, still wet, strands partially sticking to the sides of his face.

The whispered question, spoke so sincerely, shocked the hardened ninja for a moment. Instead, he simply stared at the man opposite of him, glancing at the tears that were sticking the separate eyelashes together into clumps. Without knowing what was happening, his arm moved and his hand cupped the tan cheek in front of him, rubbing the smooth area directly underneath the thin scar that crossed the face.

"I don't think I could." And Kakashi leaned in to capture the slightly bruised lips of the endearing man.

* * *

The next day in Konohagakure was blissfully perfect. The rain had stopped, the earth was still, and the world seemed at peace. The two ninja curled underneath one comforter moved closer together, a kitten on the bed waking up and giving a slight sniff before jumping off and running to the kitchen. Staying awake to cuddle and simply bask in each other's presence had tired them, strangely, to an obscene degree, so they didn't move to follow.

For one, though, the exhaustion was the result of a sudden growth spurt.

A blue eye, with it non-matching other, opened to greet the pale sunlight that filtered through the window directly above the small bed. With a soft sigh, and a gentle stretch of his arms underneath his borrowed pajamas, Kakashi moved so he was, once again, under the covers with the chunin, Iruka, who was slowly coming to.

Back to his original age, and mentality, the younger man took in his surroundings, taking stock of his room. Closing his eyes to go back to sleep, the opened to slits of confusion when the found an object that had not been placed there by the homeowner: one Hatake Kakashi.

The man seemed perfectly at ease, shifted up close to the other warm body under the covers. When he felt Iruka stir, his mismatched eyes turned up to stare at the tan figure curled slightly underneath him. Mask still firmly in place, he had never really gotten used to having it off with another person, except the miniature Iruka, Kakashi smiled, hoping the shape of his lips could be seen through the mask.

Instead of a smile back, which was expected, the bright, brown eyes clouded over in confusion. Top teeth worried at the lower lip, chewing somewhat on the pad of flesh. Just as the grey-haired man was about to ask what was wrong, he heard the words that made his blood run cold and that which would change his world forever after.

"Kakashi-san, what are you doing here...in my room?" Iruka asked, his now wide eyes staring at the man who was currently in bed with him, no idea why he was with him.

Shit happens. And it always happened to Kakashi.

**THE END**

* * *

**Author's Notes**

That's how it ends; don't look around underneath this for more. Also, don't think about killing me after this. Here it is, the last Plastic Ponies chapter, the end to a legacy that I had no idea would actually be enjoyed by people.

I think you guys are the reason I kept posting, and so, I just want to thank all you reviewers for staying with me, when I didn't post for five months, spelling things wrong, or just made plot devices that didn't make sense. Ah, what will I do next time? Better check my bio page, there might be a surprise.

Also, before I finish, let me just say that there will be a chapter after this, but it will have absolutely no Kakashi or Iruka in it. I know, then why should I even post it? Because I said this was going to be twenty chapters long and because I don't think I should leave Sakura and Lee alone when buying vegetables. It doesn't seem safe.


	20. FILLER CHAPTER! WEE! XD

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Naruto.

**Summary**

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

**Author's Notes**

Because I wanted to get this chapter done, and because I have a soft spot for Sakura x Lee fan fiction, must be that weird '_I hate you, but I love you'_ genre, this chapter has been done in record speed for me.

Something you will never see again.

For all you people wondering, there will be a sequel to Plastic Ponies. I think I will have a paragraphfrom the first chapter in my bio in the next few coming days. Hopefully you all will transfer to that story too. I might have it a little better planned out than Plastic Ponies, I think I got lost in the plot a little bit as I was writing. Then it took a life of its own.

Also, if you reviewers happen to also read Nocturne, I'm just going to tell you all that I'm going to take it down soon. I want to tweak it, and get some more plot work done before I post again. I felt it was a little rushed at the end of chapter five. But it might just be something about me?

* * *

Sakura looked up from inspecting a tomato, spotting Lee a few feet away; he was sniffing a small piece of ginger root. She knew he had no idea what he was doing, this illustrated by his visible grimace when he bit off a sliver and promptly choked on the strong flavor. The owner of the stand, an old woman, after seeing this, started to berate the boy but she was also trying to shove more vegetables into his arms.

Seeing that he wasn't going to escape, Lee just kept nodding and listening to the woman speak of her crops virtues, Sakura grabbed the tomatoes she needed and moved over to the one-sided conversation.

"Excuse me; I'd like to buy these." Sakura said simply, holding out her tomatoes. As the woman turned to find a bag, Sakura grabbed the root from Lee's hands with a quick jerk, scowling at him. "Are you trying to get us into trouble?" She hissed with her eyes narrowed in a ferocious expression, waving the produce underneath the boy's nose, as if wondering if she should hit him with it or not.

Planting his feet firmly, and hoping he wasn't trembling, the miniature green-beast of Konoha simply tilted his umbrella back in what he hoped was a cool way.

At that time, the woman came back and Sakura grabbed her purchases, shoving the money into the waiting hands and stalked off into the rain.

Just as Lee was about to follow, the woman sighed and leaned against her counter. "You're lucky to have her, boy." She stated, looking at the tall boy to her left, taking him in from the corner of her eye. "She needs someone to boss around who won't kill her."

"Um...We're not going out." Tears streamed down his face, "I swore to myself to catch all the sakura petals, but, alas!" He swept a hand theatrically across his forehead, "I failed to catch the last one!"

"Oh. Oh! In that case," She leaned forward in a calculating way, "Want to buy some raisins?"

Before Sakura could get too far away, Lee dashed after her. He didn't want to be left alone with a woman like that, and he was too fond of not turning down old woman for his own good. Besides, Sakura still had some things to get for her mother. There was still a chance for her to like him back!

* * *

"All we need now is the sugar cane and the tulip bulbs." Sakura said in a commanding voice as Lee trailed behind, the bags hanging off her arms swinging and making a type of white noise. "We'll get the sugar cane first, since it's the farthest from the house, and then I will go to Ino's for the bulbs." Sakura continued, not aware that the casually dressed boy was elsewhere, no longer listening to her.

When no response came, she was hoping for something along the lines of, 'But Sakura-chan, I love you!' Sakura whipped around, sending the rain droplets that had stuck to her umbrella everywhere. Searching franticly for a moment, looking for a splash of green against the horizon, Sakura found him talking to a girl, both huddled underneath his atrocity of an umbrella.

She grimaced as she felt something take over here, realizing that it was envy. That or indigestion, but then she remembered that she didn't eat anything except toast. Striding over, she glared jealously at the girl who was paying such rapt attention to Lee's conversation, even laughing once.

The girl was pretty, a little smile playing on her lips and her dark hair reached only a little past her shoulders. Her eyes danced as she laughed with Lee, her crimson colored tank top plastered to her body from the rain, arms wrapped around her to stop from shivering. "Lee-kun, I didn't know that that ever happened!" She giggled, not noticing Sakura's sudden approach.

"Ah, but it did! I thought I would never get away from that boar, it just kept running after me! Then I found out Gai-sensei had put a bag of chips in my backpack, and they had been falling out behind me." Lee laughed, turning towards Sakura. "Isn't that funny, Sakura-chan? I had to do three hundred sit-ups with weights before I redeemed myself."

Sakura felt her eyes narrow. "Hilarious." She twitched as the girl across from her wrapped an arm around Lee's waist, an arm from the boy draping itself over the black-haired girl's shoulders. "Aren't you going to help me?"

The girl smiled and leaned into Lee, whispering into his ear. Turning back to Sakura, she smiled again. "Sakura-chan, don't tell me you and Lee-kun are hanging out today? Helping each other with chores?" She laughed when Lee pinched her friendlily on the cheek, earning a deeper glare from Sakura.

"Yes, we are." She commented harshly, not knowing who this girl was, and how dare she call her friend! They weren't on first name basis! Inner-Sakura growled, a miniature figure of the girl getting hacked to pieces then thrown in the blender. "Are we going?"

"Oh, I don't want to get in the way of you guys! I've got to go anyway. This running in the rain should keep me in shape." The girl grinned and turned to go, waving to the two other pre-teens. Before she moved to far away she about faced and smiled at Lee, "Make sure you aren't late for practice again! We don't want you to turn into sensei's esteemed rival!"

"If I am late again, I shall run around the village five hundred times!" Lee said, striking a pose then running up to the girl, giving her a quick squeeze before shoving his umbrella into her hands. "Make sure you don't get sick, or I will have to do ten thousand pushups with one finger." Then, with another parting hug, he trotted over to Sakura, the light haze from the rain not requiring him to really have an umbrella anymore.

"Who was that?" Sakura asked casually as they walked down the road, Lee closer to the houses and building to shield himself from the occasional big drop.

The boy smiled and shoved his hands into jeans pockets, creating a picture of simplicity and serene-ness that had never been associated with the boy known as Rock Lee. "Tenten." He smiled faintly, remembering his teammate and how she hated it when he was late.

"She had to do some errands today, but when she saw me, we just had to talk. Our team hasn't gotten together in the last week, what with Gai-sensei leaving for his mission five days ago. We have to do some extra training, maybe laps..." Suddenly he turned to Sakura, "Why?"

Sakura sniffed, turning to look away from the boy and glancing at her reflection in a store window. "She looked a little different with her hair down, that's all."

Not wanting to push the matter, and finding it difficult to avoid people walking in the other direction, Lee stayed quite until after they picked up the sugar and started to walk towards Ino's parent's flower shop.

"Ah, I expect you want to go to Ino's alone, so you two can talk?" Lee said slowly, choosing his words carefully, trying not to include training in his phrase. The cold shoulder from Sakura had been a little harsh to deal with, especially since it was stemmed from one of his teammates in the first place. He had no idea what was going on in Sakura's head.

"Yes." Sakura said, deciding it would be better if she wasn't seen with another boy, though it was Lee, when she informed her rival in love about Sasuke. She, in fact, didn't really want to be alone with Ino, but it was better than dragging an innocent bystander into the fray.

Convinced with the answer, Lee turned around, prepared to return back home to his parents, when he was suddenly stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Sakura had stopped him! Hope blossomed in his chest, but when he turned all he found was the girl holding out her bags.

"Can you take this home for me? I don't know how long I'll be at Ino's, and I don't want the meat to get ground into the bread." She stated, thrusting the bags into his empty arms and striding down the street in the direction of her friend's shop.

"Alright, Sakura-chan..." Lee stated, starting to re-think his affections for a certain girl.

* * *

"Oh, hello. What can I do for you?" Sakura's mother looked down at the adorable boy in front of her; the eyebrows making him look even cuter in her motherly eyes.

Lee smiled uncertainly. This was the right house, finally. He had knocked on almost twenty doors before this, constantly getting the wrong place. "I brought back the things that Sakura-chan bought for you."

Thinking he was going to be set free after this extra mission, Lee was disappointed when he was pulled into the house by Sakura's mother. She took the bags, which were heavy for Lee, and easily lifted them up to the counter. This was absurd; he would have to do many pushups to be better than this mother!

"Of course, now you just have to stay for breakfast." Mrs. Haruno said, pushing back a pale strand of pink hair and going back to the skillet that had slowly been cooling. She had fed her husband and he was off to work, but she still had a little extra batter. Just enough pancake batter to feed Sakura, when she wasn't dieting, of course.

Lee shook his head, not noticing his body acting of its own accord and sitting down in the chair that was offered silently to him. "I don't think I could! I mean, I ate, and then I would have to do more training, not that I don't like training, it's just that my awesome sensei with gleaming teeth isn't here right now, and it would be bad if I got fat and he came back and I couldn't do awesome, fantastic poses with him for the good of Konoha!"

"Gai will be fine with you staying for one meal." The woman somehow had heard the garbled mess of nouns and verbs and translated it into human speech. "I know he's come over here a few times with my husband, just not when Sakura isn't here, thank the gods."

She glared at the batter, she had found the three eggs that she needed to make them. Funny, Sakura didn't need to go out at all. Smiling to herself, she turned on the stovetop again. "So, where is my daughter? Why did she send you to deliver things I sent her out to get?

"Also, where are the tulips?"

Lee shrugged helplessly, trying to find another way out of this house. Sakura's mother was...nice...but she seemed too intent on trying to fatten him up. A risk that no ninja could face, he had no idea how Mr. Haruno stayed trim with this bubbly, food-making woman as his wife.

Before Lee could answer, a slam from the front door shook the entire house. "Oh, welcome home, Sakura dear!" The mother said, turning to look at her befuddled daughter who was in the doorway to the kitchen, clutching a bag with a flower imprinted on the side. "Did you get my tulips?"

"Yes." She ground out, dumping them on the table before turning to glare at Lee. "What are you doing here?" She snarled, her eyes seeming to flash red for a moment before she sighed. "Mom, I'm going to my room."

The mother of the pink-haired girl sighed as her youngster walked away, leaving a confused young man sitting at the table, confusion evident on his face. "That girl, she is so..." Mrs. Haruno looked back out the window, sighing again when she saw the downfall of rain resuming after a slight pause.

After a few moments she turned back to Lee, seeming surprised at finding him still sitting down, dropping her knife to land with an uncanny precision on the cutting board and her hand going up to cover her mouth as a polite gasp passed her lips. "Here I am, keeping you from you family on a nice day like this!

"Quick, you must get home!" She said, Lee suddenly finding himself in front of the door leading out to the cold outdoors. "Here, take this," An umbrella that looked uncannily like Sakura's was thrust into his hands as Lee was forced from the house, "return it tomorrow!"

As he began to walk outside, Lee could have sworn that the older woman had winked at him before promptly slamming the door in his face. The boy smiled as he tromped down the street, a thought coming to him unbidden through the murkiness of the day.

'_I have to return this to wonderful Sakura-chan tomorrow!'_

Thus, with an elated feeling of happiness, at least one ninja in the village of Konohagakure was deemed to have at least a chance at the love of their life.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

This tale of humor and angst is finally finished.


End file.
